


To Philosophize is to Learn to Live

by Fillabuster



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Disaster Clementine (Walking Dead), Confusing, Emotional Blunting, Ethics, F/F, First Crush, Guilt, Leadership, Metaphysics, Morality, Musical References, My First Fanfic, Nature, Not Beta Read, Political Philosophy, Religion, Teen Romance, general confusion, thinky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-02-08 17:27:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 43,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fillabuster/pseuds/Fillabuster
Summary: This was meant to be a short essay originally, completely independent from this game. But after the Final Season I thought it'd be fun to think about the internal struggles of trying to find meaning in the world the kids find themselves in, and what came out was a long ass retelling of the first episode. Might as well roll with it.The Final Season rewritten to look at different values and beliefs while trying to stick to the main plot as well as can be managed. As well as following Clem and AJ as they grapple with the blurred lines of morality, it will also take a closer look at being alive in an apocalyptic situation and what it means to be a human living through it. I took the liberty of changing some things around that I thought would be necessary to try to make the story work, but allow different questions. Hope this isn't as shit as I think, enjoy.





	1. Idols of the Mind

**Author's Note:**

> "Now, of all the benefits that virtue confers upon us, the contempt of death is one of the greatest, as the means that accommodates human life with a soft and easy tranquility, and gives us a pure and pleasant taste of living, without which all other pleasure would be extinct." 
> 
> \- Montaigne: That to Philosophize is to Learn to Die
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter alternates between Violet and Clementine's POV.  
> Thoughts are in italics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know they got some ethical treatise in this school somewhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The human understanding is of its own nature prone to suppose the existence of more order and regularity in the world than it finds."
> 
> -Sir Francis Bacon: The Four Idols

    Recent days have brought along a bitter chill as winter steadily approaches. The thick blanket of clouds above shift and dissipate as strong gusts of wind blow them westward. Through newly uncovered patches in the sky, the sun’s rays break through to cast the dilapidated school grounds in an almost whimsical lighting. The bright beams make their way through iron bars and wooden boards to paint inconsistent patches of light upon the derelict dorms walls and floors. The infiltrating golden hues along with the rooms angled shadows are an ideal stage to reflect the dust and dirt adrift in the air, accenting their lackadaisical dance. The particles performance mirroring the languid movements of a blonde girl laying at the top of a threadbare bunk bed in her dirty dorm.

    Slowly opening her eyes, she squeezes them shut a few times, trying to blink away the slight sting of repose. With drawn out, dramatized movements she stretches her limbs, arching her back to pop satisfyingly. Sighing and sitting up with a low hung head, she drags her body to a sitting position at the edge of her mattress. Here she further slows her movements, hoping to protract her comfortable detachment as long as she could. With a heavy heart and an addlepated mind, leaving her room seems more arduous a task with each passing day.

    Where once this kind of calm serenity brought with it a paltry amount of succor, now only foments suspense and inquietude. A fertile field for thoughts and recognized truths to form and fall, as her mind vacillates between the diametrically opposed realities of now and ere.

    As it is wont to do, unbidden and without warning her mind strays to the vicissitude of this past year. These last few months she has been trying to actively avoid memories of Sophie and Minnie, though admittedly, not very successfully. She knows after almost a whole year it shouldn't affect her so deeply, but as time drags by she’s found that the pain hasn’t gotten any easier to manage or rationalize. Her mind went to work supplying her with the different possibilities of different actions, different outcomes of different scenarios.

 

_‘If I got off my fucking ass and-’_

 

    As the familiar thought flits to the surface she shakes her head in an attempt to dismiss the incessant remorse, hoping to avoid another day of contrition. Before she can become anymore encumbered by her burdensome thoughts she jumps off her bunk, bending her knees when she lands to ensure a soft, quiet landing. Walking out of her room and closing the door behind her she makes her way to the courtyard, mind set on breakfast.

    When she steps into the sun the first sight to greet her was Mitch, Brody, and Aasim eating at a table. It was a bit early for the courtyard to be bustling, but the three were planning on hunting this afternoon, trying to make up for the exiguity of resources within the shrinking safe zone with sheer will. Violet herself was only out and about because she was covering Omar’s watch, well... not just yet.

“Morning guys.” she greets, her naturally soft lilt carrying a rasp from her recent rest as she walks towards the fire pit, rousing a round of responding ‘morning’s’ from the table as she passed by.

After grabbing herself a small portion of Omar’s Overnights from the cauldron simmering above a small fire, Violet trudges over to sit alone at the table horizontally across from the trio. In her peripheral she can see Brody look over to her, but can’t summon the will to return the favor, instead starting on her breakfast. As she catches Brody’s downcast expression return to her own bowl Violet immediately feels her inured guilt begin to tug at her heart and instinctively, she tucks her head further down. As an innocuous quiet settles, only broken by the occasional clank of silver on ceramic, Violet begins to feel herself grow warmer, becoming somewhat uncomfortable. She settles on trying to finish her bowl as swiftly as possible, wanting to truncate her isolated awkwardness. The meager serving along with her hastened pace works to her intention, allowing her to finish her meal before the others.

“I’ve got watch. Good luck out there.” Violet coolly announces with a departing wave, feeling prepared to start her lookout at her preferred vantage point.

“See ya later, Vi. Don’t let Louis touch my stuff while I’m gone, please.” Aasim amiably responds, waving her off before looking back to his food to slurp a scoop into his mouth. Mitch and Brody each give her a nod in acknowledgement, “See ya.” Brody adds with a grin.

Violet walks to the overgrown wall, following it until she comes across her usual footholds. With routine ease she scales the wall, pulling herself over the lip to calmly sit atop the stone enclosure. Dangling her legs over the outer edge she takes in her immediate surroundings. Casting her eyes indiscriminately throughout the woods, through the darkness and the shadows, numerous walkers shamble along, stumbling over the detritus and stones.

 

_‘Shit. A lot of deadheads. That’s gonna be loads of fun to deal with later.’_

 

This sizeable a herd is rare sight to see so close to the school, but if she took a wild guess, the explosion and subsequent car crash probably has something to do with it. She astutely watched as they roamed like wild animals in their habitat, gurgling and hissing at nothing. Eventually, the majority of the mass nearest migrated further down the dirt path, dropping the volume enough to reveal the comforting susurrus of the wind blowing through leaves, a bird singing every odd second or so from the trees.

On her sequestered perch the thought provoking silence of this morning once again engulfs her. She reflects on just how bad the world has gotten since the dead started eating people, and her memories stray back to the analogous times of before. Before the apocalypse, before she got sent to Ericson’s. She’ll admit, even before the world went to shit her life wasn’t a happy one. Her relationship with life was complicated, but at least back then there was a possibility she could find a way for reconciliation. Nowadays everyone has a complicated relationship with life and no one is guaranteed a tomorrow, let alone happiness. The perditious epidemic only magnified her irresolute disposition, heightening the stakes, amplifying the pain, introducing new dangers. Still, it's a comforting thought, imagining a point in time where she could have enjoyed her life.

 

_‘You'd think all that time in church would be good for something.’_

 

Slowly lowering herself onto her back she shifts to gets as comfortable as she can, settling in for a longer watch than what she was accustomed. Though she keeps an alert gaze on the surrounding woodlands, Violet lets her mind wander free. Trying to actively keep her mind away from the memories of this morning, Violet absentmindedly hums a tune to divert her thoughts. She can’t recall all the words, but the irritatingly catchy melody she heard every Sunday for three years was indelible. In the waking nightmare they find themselves in, her formative years partly spent in the House of God has only served to add to her growing disillusionment's, especially when the pasts paradigms and beliefs seem so incommensurate with contemporary application.

All those wasted pre-apocalyptic mornings spent listening to wack rhymes and tales steeped in casuistry still failed to inculcate within her the authoritative opinions of Christianity. The only thing they successfully exposed to her tractable mind was a distorted sense of compunction, albeit not very well, along with a deep sense of irresolution concerning the universe. With aphorisms and ardor the church heaped praise onto an invisible force, disseminating their pertinacious visions of rectitude and scruple. All those mornings listening to people expatiate on the innate good of the universe, and she had, ironically, rarely seen ethical probity displayed in her life before, and now... it’s basically nonexistent.

Though she often wished she could bring herself to believe in something greater, it would make things _so_ much easier, it's not a matter of choice. It's impossible to make a conscious decision to believe in something you don’t, no matter how impractical it seems; there’s just something inexorable about belief. She holds more reason than faith and she can't bring herself to imagine, or indeed believe, in a true infinity. She’s too sensible not to think it probable that the concept of God may be no more than a fallacy. This, though, is an even more upsetting conclusion, opening a litany of nuanced questions and confounding interpretations. This perceived truth, of there being no God, fuels her ambivalence regarding concepts like evil, good, death, life, fate, fortune; all forces that seem intrinsically related to the purported existence of a universal power, yet undeniably play a real role in the world. This past year especially has been emotionally onerous, further informing her outlook, muddying her thoughts and rendering her more alone than she can ever remember feeling in her life.

 

_‘If there is a god, I don’t see the fucking point.’_

 

This has left her wanting to understand the efficient causes controlling all of the shit in the world, if there even is anything. God? Is it Fate? God’s plan? Is fate god’s plan or is it an arbiter of its own volition? And what of Fortune? What about us, do we have any say in what happens in our lives? Do we even have free will? With her mind racing she recalls a moral story she heard at church. She can’t remember its name, but she internally refers to it as: The Parable of the Dog and the Asshole. It starts with a wagon rolling down a path, a dog tethered to the back being drawn along. The wagon forces the dog to follow, no way for the dog to detach. The dog then, is left with two choices, it can either whine, complain, and fight against its certainty or it can acknowledge the otiose of struggle and have a resigned acceptance. Three choices if you count the constant choice of death.

In church, they said the moral of the story was you shouldn’t struggle against your fate, because God has a plan. It makes no difference whether you struggle, we all eventually go along in the end anyway. We should trust that his plans are good and we shouldn’t waste our time trying to understand why some things happen or don’t happen because we are incapable of comprehending God’s will. It’s not our place to question the instruments in which God implements its inceptions. So the right choice is to accept your fate because it’s in your best interest and it would be ridiculous to act otherwise.

Is that not what they’re doing now? Struggling against Fate, fighting the inevitable. She knows they fight to avoid the gruesome fate of becoming a walker, to avoid the uncertainty of what comes next. They fight to avoid the finality of death, they fight because they’re scared. But Violet is having a difficult time trying to see any other reasons for their continued struggle. They struggle to avoid death, but what’s the reason for living? To see more despair and feel more suffering? Watch more people they care about leave? Why? These days Fate seems to be a much more integral interlocutor in the events of our lives, while still being just as nebulous as she was before the world ended.

Perhaps it’s not that Fate’s presence has _changed_ , but that when she makes herself known the ramifications are terminal, being felt to an abject degree. But how much power does Fate wield? At what point in an event does the onus shift from Fate to the free will of an individual? Does it? What then are they meant to do, let things happen or try to reach a different outcome? In what situations do we have control of anything? Can actions change an outcome or are actions fated? With all these questions bubbling up she lets out a mirthless huff of laughter, and she dryly thinks maybe the church did give her a piece of advice that’ll help her. God works in mysterious ways, and we just might not be capable of comprehending the workings of the universe.

A whistle interrupts her deep ruminations, garnering her attention. Sitting herself up she turns her head to the source and sees Tenn pointing behind him to Marlon and a girl, presumably the girl they saved from the crash yesterday. The new girls attention, it seems, was also captured by Tenn, because she too follows his pointed hand to look at Violet. When their eyes lock Violet feels a sharp stutter in her heart. Even from her distance, she is immediately fascinated by the girls bright, tawny irides that seem to hold an innate coruscant life. The piercing fierceness of a lion, the strength of a raging fire. Before she can be further enraptured, the girl blinks, turning away to say something to Marlon.

Curiously Violet scrutinizes the girl from her high vantage point, examining her sartorial sense. The girl wore an off white henley under a light grey hoodie, the outermost layer being a dark denim jacket. Her once olive green cargo pants, mottled with what one can only hope to be mud, were well fitted to her figure. On her feet she wore knee high black boots, red laces done up tight. Completing the ensemble were bloody bandages wrapping around her curly chocolate hair, looking every bit the hardened badass she would need to be to survive outside.

 

_‘Holy shit…she’s hot as fuck.’_

 

The girl is extremely stunning, and admittedly, Violet is painfully gay. This fact has always lead to her becoming a nervous wreck when interacting with people she found attractive; it’s quite the nuisance. Violet can’t say how long she was staring, but when the girl turns to go into the building she catches Violet’s line of sight, stuttering her step as she turns to again lock eyes with Violet. Feeling a flutter of nervousness, Violet sheepishly smiles and swiftly shifts away, trying for casual. Soon enough the girl saunters into the school, leaving Violet to stare after her retreating form.

 

_‘Woah… THAT'S the moron that lead all these walkers here?‘_

 

“Hey, Vi, you seen Rosie?” She suddenly hears Marlon holler from below, interrupting her gay thoughts.

 

“Nope.” she responds plainly, in a softer shout than Marlon’s.

 

“Well, shit.” Marlon murmurs to himself, “Think you can lend a hand clearing a path?” he asks.

 

“Sure. Give me a sec.” she said, beginning her decent.

 

“The guys hunting party should be coming back any minute. Gotta clear the way.” he said,  pointing a thumb to the gate before propping his hands on his hips as violet comes to stand before him.

 

“Just us?” she questions, thinking back to the substantial amount of walkers she saw earlier.

 

“No, I was hoping to find Rosie before they start coming up, if we’re lucky maybe even get Louis off his ass. I was also thinking to ask the new girl if she’d be willing to tag along.”

 

“Did you catch her name yet?” Violet asks.

 

“Clementine.” he supplies.

 

Nodding her head with this new information Violet ambled to the gate, grasping separate bars and looking out. “Well, we’re gonna need the help. I saw a shit ton of those assholes come through a while ago.”

 

“Well, fuck. Okay, sit tight. I’ll be back in a bit.” Marlon said before walking to the main building, whistling for his dog along the way.

 

While she waited at the gate she hears the distinct sounds of expectorating. Angling her head up to the watchtower she sees Willy leaning and spitting over the rail of the tower.

 

“What are you doing?” She wearily questions, not particularly invested in a conversation.

 

“Tryin’ to see if I can hit a walker. Watch this.” He replies, calling up some phlegm and spitting an impressive few feet.

 

“Gross.” She mutters, rolling her eyes and facing out towards the forest.

 

Hearing approaching footsteps she throws a glance over her shoulder to see Marlon walking up.

“Rosie! Where the hell is she?” Marlon shouts, still unaware of the location of his dog.

 

Louis and Clementine emerge from the school a second later and make their way to the front gate. As they near, Marlon directs a question to Louis.

 

“You give her her weapon back?” As a wordless response Clementine brought out her knife.

 

“Good. We’re gonna need you to put it to use.” Marlon continues, “We’ve got a hunting party out there trying to get back inside. Need our help to clear the way. Seems to be a few more than usual these last couple days.”

 

Reflexively, Violet sarcastically remarks, “It’s almost like something drew their attention. Something like... I don’t know...an explosion. Or a car crash.” she said, glancing at Clementine from the corner of her eyes.

 

“Vi…” Marlon lightly reproached, wanting a nice introduction, but not surprised at Violet's people skills.

 

“What? Just saying. There’s gotta be some explanation.” she defends.

 

“Look, I didn’t know any of that was gonna happen. Sorry if it caused you guys problems.” Clementine sincerely said, defending her own actions with a sure voice.

 

Feeling her guilt nip, her gaze drops from Clementine’s face to the floor. Before a tense atmosphere has the chance to form, Louis’s jocund nature intervenes. Feigning a clearing of his throat he begins as Violet turns back to the gate.

 

“Hello Clementine. I’m Violet. Nice to meet you.” he intones sarcastically, to an extent stopping the tension brought by Violet’s less-than-warm welcoming.

 

“What he said.” She said plainly, turning her head enough to throw it over her shoulder. Before they have the chance to dwell in the lingering tension, Willy’s yell gains the groups attention.

 

“All right, boys and girls. They’re starting to fill in!” He informs them emphasizing his words with a finger pointing to three flames in the distance.

 

“Come on.” Violet said, pushing the gate open and walking out.

 

* * *

 

“Be careful out there.” Marlon tells her, grabbing an arrow from his quiver and nocking it before running out after the blonde.

 

“Don’t mind Violet.” she hears from behind as Louis comes to stand before her. “She uh... grows on you. I promise.” he finishes swinging a unique wooden weapon onto his shoulder.

Clementine let the confused interest show on her face and Louis, noticing her expression affably supplies, “Oh this? It’s a chair leg. I call it “Chairles.”” With a self-satisfied smirk he turns around to slowly stroll out the gate.

 

Eyes widening in disbelief at the coquettish boys words, Clementine shakes her head before following the group of kids out. Closing the gate behind her she turns to walk off, turning around when AJ’s voice catches her attention.

 

“Clem? Lemme help!” He hurriedly shouts jogging up to the gate.

 

Bending down to his level she gives him instruction, “I need you to watch my back. Call out from inside if you see anything. Cool?”

 

With a disappointed look AJ shakes his head, “Okay…”

 

Standing to her full height she addresses AJ once more, “See you on the other side.”

 

    Turning to walk off Clementine immediately catches sight of a walker and pulls out her knife. Before she's able to close the distance she sees Violet swing a meat cleaver, embedding it in its head and kicking off its torso to dislodge her weapon before running off. Following the girls lead, Clementine makes her way to a couple of walkers in front of her, dispatching of them in quick succession.

 

As the second walker drops she hears Louis shout to her, “Whoa! Nice one, Clementine!” Looking in the direction of his voice she sees him standing a little ways ahead of her.

 

“Could use a little more finesse, though. Watch and learn.” Turning his back to her, he cups a hand over his mouth and yells out to a nearby walker to get its attention.

 

“Hey! Over here! Follow me!” The walker groaned as it changed its course, now going in the direction of Louis.

 

    Before the walker gets within reach of the boy, Louis cuts a rope strung up on the tree he was standing near. With a sonorous thud, a massive boulder comes crashing down, splashing guts and blood over the surrounding forest floor.

 

“And _that’s_ how you school a walker.” He proudly boasts to Clementine, “There’s a whole bunch of traps laying around this area for these asshats. They’re all marked, so keep a lookout!” he informs her, running off to swing at another walker with Chairles. Taking a second to glance at the canopy above she sees an impressive amount of boulders suspended from the trees.

 

_‘A little overkill, but still...pretty coo--Log trap! Whaa… ’_

 

    Walking up to a marked tree she waits a couple of seconds for a walker to stand under the rock. Cutting the rope sends it whipping into the air, before the satisfyingly reverberant pound shakes the earth at her feet. Clementine does admit that using the trap was more fun than she thought it would be, but when she thinks of the poor sod who’ll have to reset all the traps, she can’t bring herself to use more than the one.

After all, she’s had to do much more with much less. Making quick work of the various walkers around her, she looks around as she pulls her knife from an eye socket. At the same time, she and Marlon take notice of the three torches and look back at each other.

 

“Looks like they made it back in one piece. C’mon, we’ll meet ‘em halfway.” He orders before sprinting along.

   

With a nod Clementine runs further into the forest, trying to clear the way as best she could. Exemplifying her unique erudition with precise jabs and a gracious form, she easily dispatches the handful of walkers. On either side of her she can see both Violet and Louis swinging, also making their way through the walker infested forest.

 

“Yo! Over here!” Marlon yells to them across a small, wooden bridge, gaining the attention of the trio. The teens jog over to Marlon just as another three teens come to a stop in front of them, torches billowing in the wind.

 

“Nice timing. We’re not gonna be able to hold them off much longer.” Violet said in greeting to the joining group.

 

“No kidding. Where’d all these walkers come from?” the redheaded girl in the new coming party questions, a hare slung over her shoulder.

 

“We can talk when we’re back inside the gates. Keep an eye out for stragglers.” Marlon orders, turning back to the school, the rest of the group following along.

 

    On her walk back she kept an attentive ear open for any groans or gurgles. Clementine takes wonted cautionary glances, first to her right then to her left. As she examined her left she saw she was walking alongside Violet, who in turn notices Clementine. They don’t say anything  for a few more step and she watches as the other girls face becomes faintly considerate, slightly squinting her eyes before looking forward.

 

“You know, you’re not half bad. Considering the circumstances and all…” Violet said, turning to give Clementine a dainty smile before returning her gaze ahead.

 

_‘... Pretty… ’_

 

“Thanks.” Clementine responds, sending a timid smile of her own, failing to understand why her heart leapt and quickened as if ready for a fight and her stomach suddenly felt burdened with indistinguishable swirls and nervous flutters.

 

“Let’s finish these guys off. We don’t need them attracting more walkers back to the school.” she said, running off to kill another walker with a chop to the forehead, kicking the twice-dead corpse to the floor.

 

    Clementine takes this as her cue to get back into the action and walks over to the first walker she sees, crawling towards her with an arrow lodged in its lower back. After quickly stabbing it in its forehead she rises to see one of the boys from the hunting party shoot an arrow into a walker sitting against a tree. As the boy bends over to retrieve his arrows, he doesn’t take notice of the walker shambling towards him.

On instinct Clementine runs to the boy, stabbing the walker through its cheek. Not hitting the killing blow, the walker swings around, it's arms lashing out and striking a hard blow across her jaw. Its attention now on her, the walker grabs her wrist while she struggled against its strength. Suddenly, an impetuous brown mass throws itself at the walker, tackling it to the floor and knocking Clementine off kilter. When she finds her balance, she feels a chill run up her spine as she sees a massive dog squeeze the walkers head in its jaws until it explodes. She takes cautious steps back, her shaking hand holding her knife up to the dog as it approached with a growl.

 

“Good girl!” She hears somewhere off to the side, the voice also grabbing the attention of the animal in front of her. She watches as Marlon runs up to pets its head, “Shh, shh. Hey, hey, it’s all right, girl. It’s all right. Hey, I see you and Rosie are making friends.” he said, looking to her with a smile.

 

Lowering her knife Clementine lets out a breath, “Had a bad experience with a dog once.”

 

“Well, Rosie here can help you get over it. She’s as cuddly as they come. Except when she’s mauling walkers, that is.” he reassured her, patting Rosie’s massive head.

 

She hears the heavy panting of someone behind her and turning to look, she sees the boy from earlier. Scratching the back of his head and looking substantially shaken he addresses her, “That walker came out of nowhere”. She sends him a smile in acknowledgement as Marlon yells over the group, “All right, fun’s over. Let’s get inside--I’m fuckin’ starving.”

 

“You’re not the only one.” Clementine remarks out loud as the group trudged towards the gate. As they walk back, Marlon strikes up a conversation, “How’d it out there?”

 

“How do you think it went?” the boy grumbles in a surly tone.

 

“Be nice, Aasim.” the redhead reprimands.

 

“The safe zone’s nearly dry--I could barely find enough for tonight. We’re gonna have to scout out further if we want food for the winter.” Aasim states, airing his grievance.

 

Marlon glances to her before looking forward, “We’ll talk about it later.”

 

Coming to stand in Marlon’s way, Aasim continues, “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now--”

 

Roughly shoulder checking his way through him, Marlon heatedly responds, “I said later, dammit.”

 

Before Clementine can have a proper thought on their conversation, Louis jogs up between her and Violet. “Still standing, I see.” he said to her before directing his next words to Violet, “I’d call that a B-plus performance there, Vi. You’ve done better.” he said with a lopsided smirk.

 

Not turning his way Violet uncrosses an arm to flip him off, “Fuck off.”

 

In a show of mock hurt, Louis places a hand over his heart. “B-minus then. Now, Clem here? That was a solid A. A-plus even.” he compliments, making Clementine blush and look away with a bashful smile.

 

When she brings her face back from the floor, out of the corner of her eyes she catches Louis bump Violet with a friendly elbow. “Don’t be jealous, Vi. Be better.” he jokes.

 

Clementine looks over to Violet with a friendly smile, “Um, you kicked ass, Violet. A-plus.”

 

At hearing her words a small, diffident smile works its way onto Violets lips, her face a shade pink as she turns her head away.

 

_‘Pretty.'_

 

“I know.” Violet softly responds to her compliment.

 

“You’re both delusional.” Louis says shaking his head.

 

* * *

 

    When they finally made their way back to the school Violet approached Tenn sitting alone at a table, drawing a picture of what looked to be the beginnings of a building.

 

“Hey, bud. How was your day?” She said coming to stand over him and watch him draw.

 

“It was good. I was just waiting for you to get back.” he said, stopping his hand to look up to her. “I thought, maybe we could go see Sophie and Minnie. And maybe put some new flowers down.” he said with a hopeful expression on his face.

 

_‘Shit.’_

 

“Yeah. Of course, bud. That sounds like a great idea. You wanna go now or after dinner?” she asks him, giving him reign of their choice.

 

“Let’s go now, I wanna finish my drawing before bed.” he said with a smile as he pushes himself off the table.

 

Together the two young souls slowly lumbered to their makeshift graveyard. Tenn, looking up from his fiddling hands, offers Violet a sweet smile, “Thanks for coming with me, Violet. I was gonna come earlier today, but when I... I was…”

 

“Hey, you know it’s no problem, bud.” Violet softly intervenes, making her voice as kind as she could. Knowing how hard it is to find the right words to describe the emotional roller-coaster felt when remembering the twins. From him she receives a bright smile, eyes shining with gratitude before they start on their way.

 

As they round the corner of the graveyard Tenn jogs ahead to point to a patch a few feet away from him, “Hey, Vi, look! Violets.”He looks back at her with a smile and she gives him a faux glare, not fighting the grin that makes its way onto her own face.

 

    Violet stilled, watching as Tenn plucked bundles of her namesake into his hands. When he was satisfied with his bounty, he makes his way back to Violet’s side handing her a bunch of her own. She smiles in thanks as they both turn to walk the final steps to the marked graves. Violet feels her heart rate spike as she approaches the two empty graves, knowing that this was a terrible idea. She hasn’t been back to the graveyard in months, trying to avoid things that reminded her of the twins, especially with the anniversary of their death coming up. But when Tenn asked she couldn’t say no. She never likes to be a source of pain for him, so when it's within her power, she'll try her hardest not to disappoint him. Even when it may force her to open old wounds that never really healed.

 

“Hi, Sophie, hi Minnie. Sorry I haven’t been coming around a lot this month, Marlon’s been making me and Willy clean out some old stuff in the school. But it’s okay, we found a few little toy cars in one of the drawers.” Tenn softly talks, standing between the graves.

 

    Violet stands with her arms crossed, a quietly comforting presence as she lets him purge his thoughts to the memory of his sisters. As Tenn conversed independently, she felt her own sadness prod her heart as the bittersweet remembrance of the good times she had with the twins invaded her mind. She sighs as her face contorts in sadness, hunching into herself. As jarring as cold water on skin, her mind supplies her with a distant, almost forgotten memory. She begins reminiscing on some quotidian afternoon, Sophie had mindlessly began to paste tacky glow in the dark stars on her dorm ceiling while she and Minnie were listening to music and finishing some math work. It was a boring evening, an unremarkable memory. Yet, as she vainly attempts to recollect what they did for the rest of that day, her heart aches with remorse, her ever present guilt as prominent as the day she found out they weren't coming back.

 

“Hey, guys.” Violet suddenly hears from behind her, making her jump slightly. Turning her head she sees Clementine and her kid, AJ, walking up to them.

 

“What is this?” AJ asks, looking at the wooden crosses staked in the dirt.

 

“Our graveyard.” Violet tells the young boy before looking back to Tenn.

 

“You guys still do that?” Clementine asks, no hint of callousness in her voice, just curiosity.

 

“Kinda sorta.” Violet responds, reticent though not necessarily wanting to lie to Clementine.

 

“So who’s buried here?” Clementine asks, voice heedful as she knowingly tiptoed around a sensitive subject.

 

“Nobody, really. This is where we buried Tenn’s sisters’ belongings. Minnie and Sophie. Twins. Lost ‘em both about a year ago.” Violet replies, turning her head to watch Tenn set his bouquet down on Sophie’s grave. AJ also examines Tenn’s actions, confusion plain as he turns to Violet for clarification. She gives him an understanding look before answering his unvoiced question.

 

“Paying respects.” her soft voice tells him, returning her sad eyes to Tenn.

 

AJ looks to Clementine before asking, “Should we do that too? Maybe?” voice sounding unsure.

 

Violet looks over to Clementine and when their eyes meet she sees the question in her amber orbs. Violet gives her a small smile, and at the girls returned smirk she looks down, feeling nervousness crawl into her stomach.

 

_‘… Her eyes are intense up close. Beautiful yeah, but intimidating as hell. Even when she’s not glaring.'_

 

“Yeah, I think that’d be a very nice thing to do, AJ. C’mon.” Clementine said encouragingly to the young boy.

 

When he comes to stand before the graves Violet smiles kindly, handing him her gifted posy. She and Clementine watch as AJ squats beside Tenn to place his flowers on the grave. Violet feels a scenic smile tug at the corners of her mouth, heart warming at the sight of the two boys.

 

_'Huh, well damn. She may be a reckless dumb ass, but… maybe she cares.'_

 

“Thank you.” Tenn said to the other boy, moved by AJ’s consideration. Grinning as he stands, AJ makes his way back to Clementine’s side. When Clementine looks back to her, Violet gives her a thankful smile and head nod and with a departing wave of their own, Clementine and AJ walked back to the courtyard.

 

“I like them. They’re nice.” Tenn said, standing to his full height. “Come on. Let’s go see if Omar’s done yet”.

 

"I wouldn’t risk rushing him. Remember what happened when Willy touched his mise en place?"

 

* * *

 

“Now, now, I insist. I will be but a moment. Try not to miss me too much, please.” Louis said before walking off to grab her a bowl of dinner.

 

She rolls her eyes and smiles, fondly watching his retreating form. Before returning her gaze forward she instinctively does a small sweep of the camp, course faltering as it passed over Violet. She quickly turns forward in her seat, trying to decipher the warm flutter the sight of the other girl gave her.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.” Louis loudly announces his presence as he put Clementine’s food in front of her.

 

“Thanks.” Clementine chuckles with a grateful smile before picking up her spoon. “Wow. Can’t remember the last time we had a hot meal. Mmm, this is really good.” Clementine comments, amazed by the great taste. With the way AJ gulped down his bowl, she would guess he agreed.

 

When Louis and AJ let out separate belches, Ruby makes a vocalized complaint, “Ugh, come on.”

 

Agreeing with the country girl, Clementine looks to AJ, “Hey, slow it up, AJ. You’re gonna choke.” she scolds plainly.

 

AJ makes a face at this, but nonetheless grabs his spoon to eat the rest of his meal at a civil pace. Clementine catches Ruby nodding in approval at this, “Just because everything else died, doesn’t mean manners did. I’ll say goodnight.” she said pleasantly, slipping off the table to go to sleep.

 

“Goodnight!” AJ responds before looking into his empty bowl. “Clem?”

 

Clementine leans over to see his clean bowl and lets out a small huff of breath, “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m sure they shared as much as they could.”

 

“AJ, heads up!” Louis said passing what was left of his food to AJ, “I’m full kiddo. You can have the rest.”

 

“You sure?” Clementine asks, not wanting to impose anymore than they had to.

 

“You bet.” he said with a kind smile that reached his twinkling eyes. Touched by the boys generosity, she gives him a sincerely grateful smile before looking down to finish her own meal.

 

“I’m all done.” AJ said a couple minutes later, gaining Clementine’s attention. Looking back to her polished meal Clementine nods, “Mhmm. Me, too.”

 

“Now what?” AJ asks, voice shining with a hope they could stay up a little longer.

 

Before Clementine has a chance to answer him, Louis stands, “I’ll tell you what,” he says flipping is chair around. “Time for something… very important.” he said dramatically, holding a deck of cards in the air and pointing at it.

 

As Brody walked past she scoffed, “Oh, god, goodnight”.

 

“Violet! It’s time!” he calls out, beckoning the blonde girl to their table.

 

Grabbing Clementine’s dirty bowl and putting it to the side, Marlon's asks, “What’s the game tonight, Lou?”

 

Louis adopts a satirically gravelly voice to respond, “War.” he shuffles the cards as he continues his embellishes, “The oldest game around. A game played by man and beast alike. The only game there is.”

 

Not familiar with much in the way of card games Clementine feels lost for a moment. “I don’t know the game. The only card game I’ve played had less people.” she said hoping someone would give her some insight.

 

“Don’t worry, you’ll pick it up as we go.” Louis lightly said, still shuffling the cards.

 

“It’s easy. Everyone gets a stack of cards, everyone flips one over. Highest card wins.” Violet supplies, pushing the stacked dirty dishes further to the edge.

 

_‘Pretty.’_

 

“And the winner gets to ask Clem a question.” Louis jumps in, his coy smirk dropping when he sees Clementine send him a quirked eyebrow.

 

“What? I want to get to know you. We all do.” he defends, looking around the table for support and receiving affirmative nods from both Marlon and Violet.

 

“And what if I win?” She asks, wanting to know the rules before they start.

 

“Then you get to ask us one. It’s only fair.” Louis answers.

 

“Wait, what about AJ?” she asks, mostly herself, looking to his vacated spot beside her.

 

“What about him? Looks like he made a friend.” Marlon said as she turns around to see AJ climb onto the table Tenn was drawing at. “C’mon, you can take your eyes off of him for one card game. I’ll bet you both could use a break from each other.” Marlon said with a smooth voice, trying to win her over to the idea.

 

“Yeah, maybe. This is his first time around anyone his own age. Sometimes he act more like an adult than a kid.” she comments, turning around to direct a smile at AJ. “It’s nice to see him act like a little boy again.” she finishes, turning back to the group and resting her arms on the tabletop.

 

“Louis, if you would?”

 

* * *

 

“What? You wanted me to ask.” Louis said in defense.

 

“Shit.” Marlon said under his breath as he rubbed the back of his head, “I’ll be back.”

 

Pushing himself off the table, Marlon made his way after Clementine leaving only Louis, Tenn, and herself in the courtyard. She and Louis watched as Marlon jogged to Clementine before evening his pace to walk alongside her. Feeling immensely guilty for causing the girl obvious discomfort, Violet sighs, directing her head to the table.

 

“Well… shit.” Louis mutter beside her, turning back with a heartbroken expression to nuzzle his chin into his folded arms.

 

“Hey, Vi, come look! I’m almost done.” Tenn’s voice calls from behind, causing her head to tilt up in surprise to look across the grounds to the boy. She pushes herself up with a soft sigh, walking towards Tenn. She comes to a stop behind him and peeks over his shoulder to see what drawing the boy had begot.

 

“Wow. You’re getting really good, bud. Who’s that supposed to be?” she asks, letting a puff of laughter escape alongside her impressed grin.

 

“It’s one of the guys from the beginning. That older boy, Stuart. See? And that’s supposed to be the walker that bit him.” he points to his creation and looks up to see Violet turn her head in confusion.

 

Tenn explains, ”When I was coming out of your room, I- I saw his name on the wall for some reason. I don’t really even notice the graffiti anymore, but…I dunno. I felt kinda bad no one really thinks about him anymore.” Tenn tells her crestfallen, looking back down to scribble berries onto a shrubbery near Stuart’s knees. With his words, her face falls into a somber look of reflection.

 

“That’s really nice, Tenn. I’m sure he’d love it.” she said softly, watching him for a few minutes as he put details down wherever he felt needed them.

 

A lot of the graffiti in her hallway was left by Stuart. Anarchy mostly, but also a few signatures here and there. With a reminiscent smile she recalls the boys contumacious attitude and likewise taciturn temperament. Before he had last went out hunting he had made an effulgent gibe at Louis, pointing out how difficult it must be for a rich boy to wait for his meal. Saying he would bring his haul back on a silver platter to make Louis feel more at home. Releasing a deep breath from her nose, Violet stops the thoughts of the dolorous transpiring that came next and raises a hand to Tenn’s shoulder.

 

“Okay. C’mon, Tenn. Let’s turn in for the night.” Violet said, turning around and walking to the building, trusting him to follow.

 

As they made their ways up the schools front steps Tenn grabs Violets attention, “Hey, Vi, do you know where there are any pencils or colors? I haven’t had any green in a while and I wanted to try to make this drawing a little better.” he says fiddling with the edge of his notebook as they pushed through the front door. At his query, her mind snaps to the first place she can think of to find art supplies.

 

_‘Sophie’s box should still be in there somewhere.’_

 

“Uh, maybe. I think there might be some stuff up in Sophie and Minnie’s room. I can go look. If you want.” Violet tries not to make her awkwardness known when she responds, wanting to appease the boy with anything she could give. If he had picked up on her hesitation, he doesn’t show it.

 

“Really?” he asks hopefully.

 

“Really.” she said with an easy smile, “Just wait up in my room for me, okay? I’ll go get it”.

 

* * *

 

“You mean like Tenn?” AJ questions, squirming onto the creaking wooden chair until he is settled.

 

“Yeah, like Tenn.” Clementine responds with a giddy smile, extremely happy to see AJ happy and playing with a boy his own age.

 

“Huh. I like to do pictures, too.” he said as he picks up a red colored-pencil.

 

Smiling at AJ’s back, Clementine doesn’t hear the approaching boots. Only when the doorknob is being turned does she startle, heart rate soaring as her survival instincts kick in. She turns her body to view the intruder, and it is only when her eyes take in the sight of Violet, that she tries to calm her panicked heart. In an attempt to stop the adrenaline from the small jump-scare, she takes a calming breath, hoping for her nerves to recede.

 

Violet swears softly as she notices the rooms occupants, “Oh. Shit. I- I didn’t know Marlon set you up in this room." Entering the room and closing the door behind her she continued, “I just wanted to grab something. From the closet.” she said, pointing towards her destination.

 

“Where the hell is it?” Violet questions herself out loud, casting her eyes around the small closet. As Violet turns away from her unsuccessful search, her eyes land on the colorful box on the desk. “Oh.” she said simply.

 

“What?” Clementine asks, looking to the girl. As she raises a hand to gesture towards the box, Clementine understands.

 

“That’s what I was looking for. It belonged to Sophie.” When Violet meets Clementines eyes, it is only for a few seconds, looking away with a slight dust of pink touching her cheeks.

 

“Uh… Tenn’s sister. He was asking for more art supplies and stuff, so I was going to…” she softly trails, folding her arms over her chest as she stepped towards the desk.

 

“Oh! Sorry, we didn’t know…” Clementine hurriedly apologized, hoping they haven’t been unintentionally inconsiderate.

 

“No, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Honestly, it’s just been sitting here for the past year and no one’s touched it.” she said with a careless wave of her arm, walking closer to the door.

 

“If AJ wants to play with it it’s… it’s fine.” Violet tells her in an subdued voice.

 

Not needing to think on the subject, Clementine turns to address AJ, “You should probably give the box back. It doesn’t belong to us.”

 

AJ’s face falls, but nods in acquiescence as Violet approached him.

 

“Thanks, buddy. It’s just that Tenn wanted it, since it was his sister’s and all.” Violet offers with a thankful smile.  
  
“It’s Okay.” AJ sighs, letting his head fall again in disappointment.

 

Glancing over to Violet, she sees the girls guilty frown before she went on, “You can finish your drawing though. I don’t mind.” she tells AJ, lifting his spirits as he turns around to finish his drawing.

 

Her kind words to AJ adds a flutter to her still quickened heart, Clementine turns to give Violet an appreciative smile. The girl returns the gesture, her own much more shy, before she turned away.

 

Looking at the dresser holding her hat, Violet lightly observes, “Huh! I see you’re um… settling in.” she smiles, flicking her minty eyes from her face to her baseball cap.

 

“Yeah.” Clementine said, turning her body to put her full attention on the girl before her, “Is that okay?” she asks, hoping Violet isn’t upset by their uninvited intrusion.

 

Clementine watches as Violet’s face falls, pain evident, “Sure. I guess.” she said before starting to walk towards her bunk bed on the left side of the room. The girls dreamy, far off voice sounds more so like she’s talking to herself than with Clementine.

 

“I always liked this room.”, she began gently, “Sophie had, like, paintings and shit on the walls. Lots of color.” Violet’s head fell before she continued, turning around so her back no longer faced Clementine, but still not lifting her head to reach her eyes, “And Minerva… she was really musical. Not like Louis, though… she had actual talent.” Violet said, shaking her head lightly.

 

Not expecting the quip, she is unable to stop the chuckle that bubbled up. When Violet hears the sound, her head lifts to look at Clementine and she quirks an eyebrow, unsuccessfully suppressing a smirk.

 

_‘Pretty.’_

 

Letting herself fall back to lean onto the beds ladder, Violet goes on, “She had the most amazing voice. Real Bluesy. Marlon always joked that he would scavenge a guitar and the two of them would tour the country.”

 

She looks to Clementine with a reminiscent smile, before she again falls into desolation. Clementine feels her own face fall as she watches the girl once again take on an air of despondency, her seemingly innate disposition.

 

“That was a long time ago. After they… afterwards, Brody and Tenn took down all the paintings. And that was the end of it.”

 

Crossing her arms, Violet hunches over, “I shouldn’t have even brought it up. It’s not a good memory. Guess I just lost my train of thought.”

 

“Well, they sound like they were great friends.” Clementine said taking a couple steps closer to the girl.

 

Uncrossing her arms Violet replies, “Yeah, Sophie was a good friend. And Minnie…” she hesitated, a smile flashing onto her face as she grabbed hold of a rung of the ladder, pulling her head closer.

 

“Uh… We were close. Me and her.” she said in a demure tone, looking to Clementine for only a second, before her eyes again fell to the floor.

 

Understanding her unspoken meaning Clementine digests the information before asking, “What exactly happened to them? Sophie and Minerva?” she asked, finishing her question as she sat on AJ’s bed.

 

“They went scavenging with Marlon and Brody out past the safe zone. Didn’t make it back. It happens.” Violet explains, letting go of the rung to sit at the edge of Clementine’s bed, leaning her lithe frame against the ladders side rail.

 

“Honestly, I just miss having someone around to talk to. There’s just… so many dudes. This place can get a little too Bro-town for my liking sometimes.” Violet said, letting a short chuckle escape. The small noise raising Clementine’s pulse, as the corners of her mouth unconsciously turn upward.

 

“And I’m not exactly like… a people person. You know?” she said, arms and head moving in uneven gestures as she tries to find the right words to say. “I know I sometimes have a habit… have a habit of being a little bit too harsh”.

 

“You come off all right. I thought you were pretty cool.” Clementine tells her, wanting to assure she didn’t in the least feel put off by the less-than-warm welcoming.

 

An invading moonbeam perfectly shines upon her face as she turns her head up in slight surprise. Clementine feels her stomach drop, swirling into a warm puddle, as she’s struck by the adorably taking girl in front of her. Leaning casually against the ladder with her hair mussed from the long day, Violet effortlessly emanated a quirky charm.

 

_‘Woah… ’_

 

“Oh. Um. Thanks. I guess.” she stumbles out nervously before looking up to Clementine, “You were pretty cool, too. Out there against those walkers.” Violet compliments with a small smile. The conversation then falls into a comfortable lull, the girls sit in the quiet for only a few second, smiling at each other.

 

“Hey, Clem. I’m an artist now.” AJ said, breaking the spell. The two girls’ moment transfixed came to an end, as they both shared a look before standing to walk behind the boy to look at what had been drawn.

 

“Not bad, kiddo.” Clementine compliments, standing over his left shoulder. When she looks to Violet with a smile, the other girls eyes flick away, “I should be getting back.” she said walking up to the desk to retrieve the art supplies.

 

“Thanks again for the box. You’re pretty cool, AJ.” she tells him while shutting the lid of the box and making to grab it. With a final, departing smile, Violet makes her way to the door, “See ya.”

 

“Yeah. See ya.” Clementine responds as the door clicks shut behind Violet’s retreating form.

 

Clementine stares at the door Violet had just left through, heart pounding and eyebrows crinkling in contemplation. Thinking back to how the moonlight perfectly reflected the other girls olivine eyes, she couldn’t stop imagining the girls pale face, how her sharp jawline and sandy hair looked so, so soft.

 

_‘I- woah… Violet’s really nice. And pretty. This place might not be so bad.’_

 

* * *

 

“You know, I’ve been thinkin’...” Brody started casually as the three girls and AJ walked to the fishing shack, “I wish we could go on a road trip together."

 

Upon hearing Brody’s voice, Violet can’t stop the small amount irritation that bubbles into her chest and feels a scowl form on her face, “Road trip? Why bother? It’s not like there’s anything worth seeing anymore.” she said in her usual drawl, trying to keep her personal arising animosity out of her voice as best she could.

 

Ostensibly unperturbed, Brody continues in a jolly intonation, “Oh, C’mon. I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff to see. Maybe Clem could show us around. You’re able to get a car working and you know how to drive!” she goes on, wearing an expressive smile, her excited voice stoking her ire.

 

“Barely.” Violet naturally supplies, not even having to try to be pessimistic.

 

“C’mon, Vi!” Brody hushes her looking back with a glance.

 

Clementine joins the girls’ conversation, “You sure you trust my driving? I promise I usually don’t crash.” she responds with a cheeky grin.

 

“Oh, right on second thought…” Brody plays along, looking up in thought.

 

“Yeah, I think Clem just totaled the last working car in the world. So much for your road trip.” Violet adds.

 

Hearing the girls’ conversation, AJ joins to ask, “Are we going to the car?”

 

“No, bud. It’s broken.” Clementine answers, looking down to the boy next to her.

 

“Good. I’m sick of the car.” AJ said, voicing his contemn for the vehicle.

 

Walking ahead of the rest of their group, Brody walks up to the rusty blue pickup abandoned by the shack.

 

“I wish this old rust bucket was still working. We could just jump in and start driving." With one hand she caresses the side of the truck’s bed, “We could take turns sitting in the back -- it’d be like driving one of those cars with the top that goes down!”

 

“We’d run out of gas eventually.” Violet said, patience for the pointless thought exercise dissipating with each syllable Brody spouted.

 

She turns around then to address Violet, “But still. It’s fun to imagine isn’t it?” offering her optimism to her.

 

Rolling her eyes with a sigh, Violet uncrosses her arms and faces away from the palavering girl to stand closer to the rivers bank.

 

“Where would you go, Clem? If you could drive anywhere you wanted? If gas wasn’t an issue.” Brody continues, directing the question to Clementine.

 

“Or a busted carburetor, or flat tires, or the transmission--” she sarcastically lists off the top of her head.

 

Throwing her an unimpressed look Brody monotones, “Buzzkill.”

 

Clementine calmly waits for the girls to finish before giving her answer. “I’d drive down to the coastline. Maybe park on the beach and go swimming.” she said with a small smile.

 

“That’d be an absolute dream. You could spend every day in the sun…”

 

At this point just wanting Brody to stop talking, Violet sarcastically antagonizes her further, “And die of skin cancer. Fun.” she looks over to send an overly sweet smile.

 

“We’re all gonna die. I’ll take skin cancer over turning into a walker any day. I’ve lived here my entire life. Heck, I’d say I know every inch of these woods. I’d kind of like to unknow it.” Brody tells them.

 

“No use in dreaming about what could be. We’ve got shit to do.” she said placing a hand to her hip, wishing they could finally be done with this idiotic conversation and begin their duties.

 

Looking disappointed Brody agrees, “Yeah, I guess we should get to work on those fish. We’ve got some spears inside the shack. C’mon.” Brody said leading the way to the shack.

 

Knowing a bad idea when she sees one, Violet informs the three, “You go ahead. I’ll stay out here.”

 

    Turning away from the girls she looks back to the river, listening as the door creaked and clicked shut. With a minute to try to compose herself, she takes a deep breath and ruminates on her behavior for a minute. She’s sensible enough to realize when she’s being a bitch, but this doesn't stop her from bristling in the girls presence. Violet’s naturally mordacious personality has been grating against the other girls incessant need to talk, and she's been steadily garnering more resentment towards Brody this past year. She can barely find it in her to talk to the girl most days, and this evening seems especially grating. Why is it so easy for Brody to keep trying to talk, when her discomfort with her is so obvious?

  
_‘Fuck. Blood boiling, bitch. Okay, just... calm down… ’_

 

Violet calms down slightly, but is still decidedly annoyed and knows that she won’t be relaxed until she’s back in camp. Resigned to her afternoon of agitation Violet calls to the girls to hurry them along, wanting to get this over with.

 

“Hey! What the hell is taking you two so long.” Violet gruffly shouts.

 

Seconds later, Brody leaves the shack, spears in hand.

 

“Here ya go, Vi.” she said as she reaches Violet’s side to extend the two handles to her.

 

“Thanks.” she mutters, plucking the spears out Brody’s grasp and placing them near a slab of stone near the river.

 

She tries to focus on the spear and her grip position, the patterns of the swimming fish and waters current, her breathing, still hands. But the only thing she can focus on are the slowly receding footfalls, her focus leaving with each thud of Brody’s boots. The footsteps are long gone and her focus has dissipated by the time a fish swims in front of her. With a thrust Violet goes to spear the fish, missing.

 

“Shit.”

 

“Can I join you?” she hears someone sound out from behind her.

 

Looking up to Clementine’s voice, she sees the girl with a small grin hanging off the corner of her mouth. “Sure.” she said, moving to show Clementine where the fish tend to group.

 

“Hey, check out these guys over here.” Violet nods to the river.

 

Clementine leans over to see, “They’re swimming against the current.”

 

“Guess they don’t realize it makes them easier targets.” Violet said pointing to a fish that was self evidently, an idiot.

 

“I wanna try.” she hears AJ pipe up from somewhere to her side.

 

“Take a spear. Go nuts.” Violet said, prompting Clementine smile and hand the boy an oversized spear.

 

“Go ahead and try. They’re not running.” Violet said to Clementine as the girl comes to stand near.

 

As the two girls fish, Violet looks over to Clementine holding the spear next to her. Looking at the supple frame and flexing forearms caused a lusty stir of warmth within her, a flutter subtly impeding the rhythm of her heart.

 

 

_‘She’s really fucking cute. Okay, no big deal just… say something.’_

 

 

Striking up a conversation has never been Violet’s forte, especially when she tends to be tongue tied around beautiful girls. But, seeing as this girl has been patient and kind in the face of Violet’s enmity, it seems best to start with an olive branch.

 

“Hey, um, sorry if I was weird last night… about the whole room thing. Seeing someone else in there… Uh, it was harder than I expected”.

 

With a self abasing chuckle she tries to explain, “You’d think I’d be less sentimental by now.” she finishes, frowning at her shifting reflection in the ripples.

 

“I understand. There are people I still miss, too. It never really gets easier.” Clementine said with an understanding empathy in her voice, comment ringing with personal experience.

 

_‘She… That’s- yes.’_

 

“Yeah, it really doesn’t.” she said with a hung head. “I just… I don’t know what the problem is between us. With Brody… I don’t know why it’s like this. Why is it so weird? I can never relax around her. It just keeps getting worse.” Violet opens, spilling her thought out to a patiently listening Clementine.

 

“Maybe because she never said sorry. About Sophie and Minnie and not being able to save them.” she said in her low voice, trying to look Violet in the eye.

 

“She tell you that?” Violet quietly questions, the familiar guilt rapping at her heart.

 

“More or less. She wants to talk about it, you know.”

 

“I just… I feel guilty about the whole thing.” she finally admits, feeling her heart drop further as her frown deepened. It may be the other girls genuine nature, but something about her tells Violet she can trust her; a scary thought to have or dwell upon, so she instead continues with her train of thought.

 

“Why?”

 

“I was supposed to be out with the twins that day. I wanted to work in the greenhouse so I asked Brody to cover for me. But then… I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I… I wanted to talk to Brody, to tell her I didn’t blame her for what happened. But every time I tried, I was reminded of who we lost. It was easier to just not talk about it.” she lets out, her emotions seep into each word as a damn breaks, powerless to stop the flow. And she lets it, she pours her heart out to the girl next to her, and the spontaneous out-pour seemingly stuns the other girl into silence. Sensing she’s made Clementine uncomfortable with her over-personal prating, she starts walking away, “We should get going.”

 

After they reconvene with Brody, they set off to see if the boys had any luck with their traps. As they walk Violet is no longer uncomfortably agitated, more so resigned to her guilt. She can’t change her past actions, but she can sure as fuck change her current choices.

 

‘ _Gran always did say we’d go to Arizona one day_.’

 

“The Grand Canyon.” Violet said, breaking the silence that surrounded the group.

 

“What?” Brody questions the uncontextualized location.

 

“That’s where I’d go if we took a road trip. Start driving until we hit the Grand Canyon.” she clarifies, keeping her face forward.

 

“Yeah. That would be cool.” Brody said, her natural southern drawl softer than usual.

 

Feeling a modicum of guilt ebb away at the sound of the mellowed voice, Violet smiles to herself.

 

_‘Damn, she was right. Thanks, Clementine.’_

 

“Hey, you slow pokes coming?” she throws over her shoulder to the two lagging girls.

 

“Yeah, we’re right behind you.”

 

* * *

 

“So what do we do? Eat rocks?” Louis quips with an unhappy frown.

 

“You can't eat rocks.” AJ tells said, thinking Louis silly as to entertain such a thing.

 

“I'm aware” Louis flatly tells him, moving his coat to prop his hands on his hip.

 

“Will Marlon kick us out if we don't find food?” AJ worriedly asks, looking to Clementine.

 

“Well, let's not find out.” Clementine said, producing a map from her back pocket and examines the only viable option they have.

 

“The train station. It's not too far from here.” She announces to the group as she replaces the map to its original spot.

 

Having been staying quiet since Brody’s panic attack, Violet jumps in, “Maybe, but it's outside the safe zone.” she said, pointing out the obvious risk they will be running.

 

“There was food in there when AJ and I passed through. It's worth a look.” Clementine said to the other girl, pointing out the obvious benefits they stand to gain.

 

“You sure there was food?” Violet asks her, searching for truth in her word, a reason to feel confident in entrusting Clementine.

 

With as much certainty she can muster, Clementine assures the blonde, “Positive. Yeah, some of it was destroyed in the explosion, but there has to be something left. There was so much there.”

 

Waiting a beat, “Or we could starve.” she adds to drive her argument home, and looking to the two shifting teens in front of her, the persuasive technique was working.

 

Violet looks to Louis with reluctance and Louis looks to Violet with a shrug. Clementine sees the onus shifting and looks to Violet for her confirmation.

 

With everyone looking to her the pale teen rolls her eyes and relents with a resigned, “Fine. Let's go.” before starting off into the forest, everyone else following suit.

 

The group walks in silence for a minute or so before Louis clears his throat, “So, seeing as we're gonna be walking for a bit, who's up for a friendly little game of I Spy?”

 

While Violet groans beside him, AJ perks up at the mention of game, “Ooh, can I play? Me and Clem always used to play that. She said I was really good at it.”

 

“Of course, kiddo. I’d even wager you’re better than ol’ Vi here.” Louis jovially jests, knocking his shoulder together with the blonde.

 

As she’s jostled she looks about to respond before sending a glance to AJ and closing her mouth. She looks to Louis and settles for, “Oh, I don’t doubt AJ could beat us. But at least _I’d_ be able to present him with a challenge. AJ here caught a fish faster than I could, I'm pretty sure he can take you on.” looking back to AJ, she directs the rest of her words to him with a kind smile.

 

“Louis is just salty he lost our last game.” She tells him conspiratorially, putting a hand up to block her mouth from Louis’s sight.

 

“I heard that!”

 

AJ giggles at the two teens and Clementine feels her heart swoop.

 

“Okay, how’s about this. I spy with my little eye something… purple.” Louis said, grinning the whole time.

 

“Really?” Violet drawls, being the only thing with purple in the woods.

 

“What? We're just warming up.” Louis chuckles.

 

“Violet’s jacket!” AJ softly shouts, exclaiming his findings with excitement.

 

“Nice one, AJ. You, my dude, are a regular sleuth.” Louis said with an impressed tone. “You're up, little man. What do you see?”

 

“Hmm. Uh, I spy… with my little eye… something… brown.” he said astutely facing forward, away from his object of description.

 

“Ooh, that’s a tough one. Clem was right, you are good at this game.” Louis said tapping his chin and surveying his surroundings.

 

“He’s the best. Always beats me.” Clementine proudly said, always eager to talk about how amazing AJ is.

 

“Hmm. Is it that tree?” Louis asks, pointing to a random tree ahead of him.

 

Grinning, AJ smugly replies, “Nope.” he said, popping the ‘p’.

 

“Is it that tree?” Louis asks again, pointing to another random tree next to them.

 

“Uh uh.”

 

“Hmm. Is it that tree?” Louis said, pointing to another tree.

 

Clementine giggles and watches as Violet shakes her head, slowing her pace to slightly fall behind Louis and AJ, coming to walk closer to her.

 

“I’m am not going to stand next to that the whole way there.” Violet said as she falls in step beside her.

 

“What? Not a fan of redundancy?” Clementine asks, smiling at the girl next to her.

 

“More like not a fan of stupidity.” she responds, looking over with a small smile.

 

“Well in that case, I’m not sure you’re talking to the right person.” Clementine jokes, causing both girls to let out soft giggles.

 

“Nah, I’m positive you’re smarter than Louis. You have to be.” she said with an easy smile.

 

_‘Damn, that's a beautiful smile.’_

 

Letting out a humored huff Clementine asks, “What makes you so sure?”

 

Violet looks to the floor with a shy shrug, “Well, I mean. It’s not too hard to be smarter than that dork.” she says nodding her head to the teen still pointing at trees.

 

“But, I know for a fact you're a genius because you helped me with something I’ve been struggling with for about a year in, like, half an hour.” she continues with an open expression.

 

“Thank you, by the way. You really didn’t have to do that. I know I probably made you uncomfortable with all of my personal shit yesterday, and I’m sorry. But, I really appreciate you helping me with Brody.” Violet’s melodic voice wavers as she nervously lets Clementine know what was on her mind.

 

Clementine understandingly smiles at Violet before responding, “It was no problem, really. Anytime. I mean it.”

 

They each smile into each others eyes, familiarity, trust, and understanding slowly building between them. Clementine can’t stop herself from getting absorbed in the girls pale eyes. The green of her eyes seem to shift to silver as the light randomly broke through the canopy to touch her face. Eventually, Violet's attention gets taken away by AJ telling her to look for something red.

 

_‘Sweet Jesus, she's breathtaking. She--I… I'm attracted to her. Holy fuck, I’m attracted to her.’_

 

    Clementine doesn’t know what to do with this new understanding. She had barely understood what Javi was talking about when he’d said Gabe had a crush on her. She eventually understood, but she still felt embarrassed when she caught the boy staring; that's not what she was feeling now. She thought Gabe was a sweet boy, a cute face, but ultimately too young and confused for Clementine to look at him as anything more than a friend around her age. Violet, however, inspires emotions she can’t describe, but enjoys the rush of nonetheless. Pulse rushing, heat rising, stomach swirling. She likes the feelings Violet inspires within her, she’s never experienced anything like it before. Growing up in this world, she never really had time to think about her sexuality, always surviving, always moving. She's sure she likes boys, she thought Louis was charming when she first saw him, afterall. Likewise she admits Gabe was kind of cute, maybe a little too innocent. But she also acknowledges Violet is really pretty, and is capable of making her heart do weird things. Clementine is almost positive that means she likes girls. Something she has no experience in, and doesn’t know how to navigate.

 

_‘Cool… cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay, okay don’t panic, Clementine, you got this. Just… get to know her. Yeah, just talk to her. Mhmm, or maybe later? Later's good.’_

 

They’ve only been walking for 20 minutes or so, but it was already getting dark. As the suns trip across the sky drew to an end so did their game of I Spy.

 

“Aw, man. I was winning.” AJ says, pouting his lips.

 

“Oh, ho you are good! I concede, good sir you’ve bested me this day. I'll make sure not to take it as easy on you next time, now that I know you're a pro.” Louis said leaning over to giving AJ a low five.

 

“And just in time too, we’re almost there, look.” Clementine tells them, pointing to the train station coming up.

 

As they near the area the sounds of groans and gurgling is clear, and grows with every step they take. Crouching their way over to stand behind a large boulder Clementine motions to the overrun location with her head, “There. That’s where the food is. Lot more walkers than last time, though.” she says, the gears in her mind already turning as she surveyed the surrounding area. The place looks like a suicide run.

 

“We’re gonna die.”

 

 

* * *

 

“Took y'all a while.” Ruby greeted as they finally made it back from the perilous food run.

 

Trudging across the courtyard and placing the duffel bags on the table's surface,  Louis unveils their bounty with a histrionic flair.

 

“How poor are they that have not the patience.” he parodied in a proud voice.

 

Violet listens as everyone comes over to offer their praise. They’d brought back a hefty haul and it looked like they wouldn't have to worry about starving for the next few days. After the initial elated reaction the only person whom expressed their disapproval was Brody, as was to be expected. Violet knew she would have a problem with venturing past the safe zone. The fleeting thought that it could just as easily have been her with the panic attacks and aversions crosses her mind. As Brody continued to bicker with Clementine, she prods Louis with her elbow while nodding in the direction of the stew.

 

As they make their way over, Louis strikes up a conversation, “Man, Brody is losing it. Poor Clem.”

 

Looking back at the two girls, she sees Marlon joining the fray, “Yeah. She seemed really freaked out when we found that cigarette. She's just scared.” Violet said as Louis hands her a bowl.

 

“Yeah, I know. But still. We just brought back the biggest haul the school's ever seen. She could, maybe… _not_ yell at Clementine and be grateful that we risked our lives to ensure our continual survival. Just saying, that'd be cool.”

 

“Well, neuroses usually aren't reasonable. Just… let her calm down. You know what happened this time last year.” Violet softly supplies, voice tapering off towards the end.

 

“Fuck. Yeah. Right, okay.” Louis mutters, eyes downcast in remembrance.

 

When they come to sit at the table with Tenn and AJ they are both silent, a year away in their minds. Violet's not sure if it's the time of the year or the days events, but either way, she can't stop the feeling of dread that loomed over her. Today just feels… off. She can't explain it, the best thing she can think of is that the anniversary is coming up. It's scary how fresh the pain feels, as if she had blinked and a year had passed. When Clementine finally makes her way over, Louis grabs her attention.

 

“Don’t sweat it, Clem.” he said with a supportive smile.

 

“Ever since we lost Sophie and Minnie, Brody’s been freaked out by anything that happens past the safe zone. She’ll be alright eventually.” Violet explains, not wanting Clementine to feel guilty when she had done nothing wrong.

 

Startling both girls, Aasim speaks up from behind, “Still, we should make sure this is a one-time thing. We can take Rosie out in the morning, see if she catches a scent. You know, just in case.” he responsibly reasons before walking to his seat to enjoy his meal.

 

Having lost her appetite, Violet announces, “I’m gonna go clean up.” wanting to retire from the long day and let sleep relieve her of the sorrow for a brief reprieve.

 

Not stopping her movements she faintly hears Louis also announce his departure. As she walks to dispose of her dish her mind is occupied with the thoughts she has mostly kept at bay for the last few months. The torrent of repressed sadness unexpectedly hits her, and Violet feels the pressure in her chest increase with every breath. As she places her bowl on the table, she feels a hand touch her shoulder. Looking back she sees Louis, eyes crinkled with an understanding smile, thin-lipped as to almost resemble a grimace.

 

“I’m good. I’m just tired. Gonna turn in for the night.” Violet evenly responds as she crosses her arms and hunches to look at the floor, already feeling her weary eyes burn.

 

“Okay.” he said, uncharacteristically soft, “Just know I’m here if you ever need to talk to somebody, okay?” he said, ducking his head to try to catch her eye.

 

With her nod, he gives her a kind smile, “Goodnight, Vi.” he said as he walks off.

 

She watches him go with a sigh, slowly walking to the steps that will take her to her dorm. Walking into the dim hallway she adeptly makes her way, not raising her head from the floor; no longer relying solely on sight to make the rote route to her room. Clicking the door shut behind her she pulls herself up the ladder to fall face first onto her mattress. She’s tired, both physically and mentally. As she reflects on the days events, it wasn’t any more or less hard than she usually worked. She was accustomed to labor and aching muscles, it's never bothered her that much. The deeply personal conversations held with Clementine, however, were continuously running through her mind, exhausting her. Tonight she felt as if she’d been run over by a truck, muscles whining in protest. It was always the mental fights that seeped majority of one’s strength, and tonight Violet can admit that she has lost. She relents to the fact that tonight she’ll have those same nightmares, and as her heavy lids droop, she has one last conscious thought.

 

_‘This fucking sucks.’_

 

* * *

 

“What’s that?” AJ asks, also awoken by the ominous sounds reverberating throughout their room.

 

“Shhh.” she directs, trying to get a better listen.

 

The sound of an indistinguishable argument again echos from the pipes, at once startling and confusing her. “What the hell?” Clementine said aloud to no one as she listens to the voices for a few more seconds.

 

“There’s voices in the pipes.” AJ deduces, sitting in bed with his legs crossed.

 

“I think someone’s in trouble.” she says, worry touching her heart.

 

“Is it us?” AJ asks, he too growing nervous.

 

“No, no, no. Not right now, but we should help them.”

 

“If it’s a monster we should kill it.” he said matter-of-factly.

 

“I don’t think it is.” she informs him, “You got your gun?”

 

“Uh-huh.” he said, pulling the revolver out as proof.

 

“I’ll be right back. Stay safe.” Clementine said before heading out the door to find the source of the noise.

 

She walked through the moonlit hallway and followed the voices. Walking towards the source eventually leads her to stand at the basement entrance. She places her ear against the cold metal and is sure the voices are coming from behind the door. When she tries the handle she finds the door locked.

 

_‘Damn, locks from both sides. Fucking inconvenient building plans, this isn’t even practical.’_

 

As luck would have it, she notices an evacuation map pasted to the right of the door showing another entrance to the basement just outside. Following the guide to the cellar door out in the courtyard, Clementine walks to the metal doors. Bending down she picks up the padlock keeping her out, yanking on it a couple times. Looking around she spots a brick laying a few feet away and goes to retrieve it. With two hits the lock easily breaks, allowing her to lift it from the latch and heave open the heavy doors. With the voices no longer muffled she can make out the two distinct voices of Marlon and Brody. Stepping down into the basement, Clementine takes a steadying breath.

 

_‘Okay. Now, what the fuck is going on.’_

 

* * *

 

“What the hell is going on?” Violet shouts as she and Tenn finally rush into the courtyard. As Marlon acknowledges her she sees a splatter of red across his face, the lightning illuminating his hysterical features. At the sight she feels her heart lurch as adrenaline floods her system, mind racing.

 

“Look at her hands! She’s covered in Brody’s blood!” Marlon snarled, thrusting an accusing finger at Clementine.

 

Hearing this Violet’s stomach plummets, churning with repulsion at the news. Violet looks to Clementine, watching as the girls horrified face angled down to her own bloody hands.

 

_‘Fuck.’_

 

“Jesus Christ, Clem.”

“What did you do?”

 

As the various kids reacted to the conjecture of the incident with fear and confusion, Marlon exploits the situation, shoving AJ and grabbing the young boys revolver. As thunder claps and lighting illuminates their stricken faces, Marlon’s eyes dart around while he holds the pistol above his head. He surveys the frightened crowd with frantic eyes, before trying to salvage the predicament, seeking personal indemnification.

 

“We saved their lives when anyone else would’ve kept walking! We fed them, we kept them warm! And this is how they thank us?! Guns being pulled and murder!” Marlon inveighed, beginning to haphazardly wave the pistol at the gathered crowd of kids.

 

“Well, FUCK. THEM.” he vituperated, aiming the gun at Clementine.

 

“You shoot me and what do you offer up to your raider friends when they come knocking?” Clementine shouts above the rainfall and various outcries.

 

“What the hell is she talking about?” Aasim questions.

 

“He won’t do it because he needs us alive.” Clementine announces, face contorting into a angered frown.

 

“Shut up.” Marlon sibilated, grasping the gun with two hands.

 

“Brody told me: Marlon was going to give me and AJ up to raiders in exchange for safety. The same way he gave up Sophie and Minnie!” Clementine told the surrounding kids, hoping to sway minds with facts.

 

At this Violet’s breath leaves her, feeling nausea overtake her body she bows her head and attempts to control her breathing.

 

_‘What?’_

 

“Raiders?”

“Oh my God.”

Marlon jostles the gun is his hand, “Shut the fuck up, Clementine!”

 

“Let her talk!” Aasim shouts.

 

Clementine looks to the boy before continuing, “Brody told me the truth, and that’s when Marlon killed her.”

 

The thunder does nothing to drown out the deafening confessions of the night. Violet directs a murderous glare at Marlon as the rest of the school looks at him with accusatory eyes.

 

Marlon looks to the faces waiting for an explanation and begins pacing before starting on a forceful diatribe, “Aw, come the fuck on! They only met up with these ‘raiders’ because Clem insisted they go out there. Quite the coincidence, isn’t it.” he said with a smile, stopping to again level the gun at Clementine, “Shame I don’t believe in those.”

 

“Think about how scared we all were when the adults left.” he continues, resuming his pacing. “I pulled us out of that fear. I gave us all courage again. Who are y’all gonna believe, huh? Johnny-come-lately and her little fucking lunatic? Or me? Your friend?” He finishes his acrimonious speech by aiming his gun at Clementine, becoming increasingly untethered with each bilious outburst.

 

Violet swims through confusion, anger, and hurt while subjected to the argument, her forlorn gaze directed to the floor. It’s only Clementine’s scared voice that draws Violet’s head back up, “Violet, you have to believe me.”

 

When she looks into her golden eyes she no longer sees a raging fire, just molten embers. They plead with Violet’s heart, trying to convey a silent message. Violet freezes on the spot, fear clouding her acumen and rendering her impotent.

 

Her attention is taken away by Marlon, “You don’t. You met her like two days ago!”

 

_‘But... I- I don’t fucking know.’_

 

“I don’t know you, Clem. Not really. I’m sorry.” she quietly said, feeling her gut wrenching as Clementine’s face shows shock and disbelief.

 

“This isn’t like you. I know you’re not weak.” she beseeched, trying to get through to her.

 

“Don’t let her get in your head. Hey, what would Minnie want you to do? She was my friend, too. So was Brody.” He said in a threatening voice looking back to Clementine.

 

“Clem, I... “ Violet begins, unsure with how to proceed.  “Shit.”

 

“We’ll all feel safer once I pull this trigger.”

 

“If you were there that day the raiders came… He would have abandoned you, too.” Clementine invokes imploringly, desperate for Violet’s aid.

 

_‘No sh-she… she's absolutely right.’_

 

Looking up to glare at Marlon, Violet steps away from the crowd and goes to stand between Clementine and the gun. Pulling out her own weapon as she stares him down, Marlon lets out a soft chuckle, “Violet being difficult. Why am I not surprised?”

 

“Put the gun down. Now. We’re gonna do this the right way.” She forcefully states watching as his hand that held the gun trembled.

 

“Stand down, Marlon. Be reasonable.” Aasim calmly said as the group slowly advances as if carefully approaching a wild animal.

 

“You don’t get it. You- you don’t understand at all, do you?” Marlon’s wavering voice begins, taking steps back while waving the gun.

 

“I’m trying to protect you!” his mercurial shift to hysterical shouting is punctuated by a clap of thunder along with Rosie’s continuous barks. “All of you! Every fuckin’ one of you!” he bleated, waving the gun indiscriminately at his friends.

 

“He’s lying to you. He can’t--or won’t--protect you. Look at what happened to Brody. To Sophie, Minerva.” Clementine said stepping a few steps to Marlon. “You suck at protection.” Clementine roasts, pointing to Marlon.

 

“Shut your fucking mouth!” Marlon quickly shouts, swerving to again aim his gun at Clementine.

 

“I made the right call. I saved the lives of everyone in this fucking school! If they came back… I’d do it again!” He admits with a voice dripping in venom.

 

_‘Motherfucker.’_

 

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t realize we were so fucking expendable.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You told me they died.”

 

Marlon looks in the direction of the various obloquy with a horrified expression, “I had to save the rest of you, okay?”

 

“You gave my sisters away.” Tenn said as he approached Marlon, beginning to cry as he continues, “Why would you do something like that? I trusted you, Marlon. THEY trusted you!” he questioned, his entire body emanating sadness.

 

“He was in a tight spot. He did the wrong thing, but he thought it was for the right reason. But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have to pay for it.” Clementine said, defusing the situation as much as she could.

 

As he turns to listen to Clementine his face is plastered with guilt. Lowering the gun he turns back to Tenn, “I wanted to get them. Stage some kind of rescue. Honest, Tenn. I just couldn’t. I was… I was too afraid.”

 

“You killed Brody because she knew?” Tenn asks him.

 

The softly uttered question seems to strike the broken boy as he dropped his face, posture following suit. He closes his eyes as tears well up, blinking them away to join the raindrops rolling down his face.

 

“Mhmm. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want this. I wanted to save all of you. Sophie, Minerva.” he cries out, “I didn’t want to hurt them.”

 

“We can still fix this, Marlon.” Clementine calmly supplies, again stepping out towards Marlon, “It’s going to be okay. We can make this right.”

 

“We’ll help you.” Louis solemnly promises, also stepping forward, “We’re all family here. The only one any of us has left.”

 

With the fight having been removed from him, Marlon numbly stands for a few seconds before letting the gun slip from his grasp and clatter to the floor. As soon as she sees the gun laying at his feet Clementine goes to retrieve it, before stepping back in place beside Louis.

 

“I know I betrayed you. All of you. Just let me leave. You’ll never have to see me again. Just let me become… a bad memory.” he begged.

 

“If you really think we’re just gonna let you walk out of here, you’re wrong. You can stay. But I think it’s only right he be kept as a prisoner.” Clementine says, directing the last part as a census to the surrounding crowd.

 

“What?”

“Are you fucking kidding me.”

“He fucking murdered Brody, Clem.”

 

As Violet voices her concerns along with the others Clementine looks to Louis for support. He gives her nods of affirmation and turns to address the group.

 

“Guys. I- I think she’s right. We can’t just let him leave. But we can’t let him stay and walk free after he… I think the right thing to do is to hold him as a temporary prisoner in the basement until we can come to an agreement.”

 

“I second that motion.” Aasim said immediately, wanting the most responsible course decided.

 

Violet watches Marlon as the group deliberates, watching his shoulders gently shift, his gasps between sobs shaking his broken frame. With his head permanently bowed to the floor she couldn’t see the expression written on his face, though sight was unnecessary to know it was filled with self-abasing hatred.

 

_‘Motherfucker.’_

 

“Vi? What about you. What do you think?” Louis asks, crossing his arms over his chest as he stood in front of Marlon.

 

“Fuck him.” is the first thing she can think to say.

 

“Vi. I know, okay? Just--”

 

“No. He fucking MURDERED Brody. He gave the twins away. I honestly don’t give a shit about what happens to him, all I know is I don’t want to look at his fucking face.” she said, crossing her arms and hunching over to look at the floor.

 

“Okay. That’s your vote. So... “ Louis said unsure of what to do from here.

 

“So, we lock him down in the basement. First thing tomorrow morning we’ll have a funeral for Brody. And then we can hold another vote, once we’ve all had a night to sleep and think about it.” Clementine outlines, stirring nods of approval from a few of the kids.

 

“Okay, then it’s settled. Everyone try to get some sleep, I’ll go lock him up.”

 

“I’ll help you.” Louis said, grabbing Marlon by the elbow and easily leads the docile boy to the open cellar doors.

 

As the crowd dissipated, Clementine came before her to place a hand on her tense shoulder.

 

“Are you okay?” she asks softly.

 

“No. Is that okay?” Violet sadly asks, angling her head to look at the girl in front of her.

 

“Of course it’s okay. I- I’m here if you need to talk, or… whatever.” Clementine said with a small smile, removing her hand.

 

Returning the gesture with a sad smile of her own, Violet uncrosses her arms, “Thanks. I’m, uh, I’m pretty tired, so I’m gonna head off. I can drop AJ off in your room if you want.” she said, nodding to the school.

 

“Yeah, actually. Thanks, I'd appreciate it.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Before she passes Clementine she puts a hand of her own upon the girls strong shoulder, “Please be careful.” she says, looking to Louis and Marlon shuffling to the cellar.

 

Clementine looks to her with a grin, “Of course. Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight.”


	2. The Ghost and the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine waxes poetic about Hobbes' state of nature, and Violet is the sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Virtue generally, in all sorts of subjects, is somewhat that is valued for eminence and consisteth in comparison. For if all things were equal in all men, nothing would be prized."
> 
> -Thomas Hobbes: The Leviathan

    Clementine couldn’t stop worrying her lip, squirming and shifting uncomfortably as her mind ran itself ragged. Dread for the hours to come filled her chest with a constricting force and curdled her stomach with nerves. When she had finally retired she let her body heavily collapse into her pillow, inhaling the musty smells of mildew and settled dust. AJ had still been awake and waiting, so she sat up and talked with him for a bit, before he crawled into his own bed to go to sleep. When his soft snores surrounded her senses she finally sunk back into her pillow and let her mind slowly mull over the events of the last few hours.

    The night had been intense, to say the least. Secrets had been revealed, trust had been broken, friendships lost, life taken. The leader who was given the responsibility of protecting ultimately failed, but could she blame him? In this world? What inexperienced kid would have the necessary knowledge to go toe to toe with malicious adults with years of experiences along with acquired information from the world from before? Bodies of knowledge they no longer have access to. A single teenager, hell, one person holding the weight of that kind of responsibility is bound to be fallible, and Clementine understands. She’s seen it happen to the best of people. It was comprehensible, but that doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do. But then again, what even were right and wrong actions anymore?

    Her own years on the road have taught her many harsh verities, one being: in the face of survival you need to recognize the liability and mutability of morality. Actions can only ever be qualified good or bad when pursuant to a goal, and if their goal is survival, then any action that ensures that survival can be considered good and vice versa. There’s nothing in place to constrain the vices of man, no police or government. There are no judges, no laws, no society, no rules, and consequently, no injustice. There's nothing to look to to feel wronged over or be seen as unfair, it's a dog eat dog world. No private property, nothing belonged to anyone and everything belonged to everyone; a free for all. They're all scared, desperate people living in continual fear of death, and it's not exactly an environment that nurtures the ideals of ethics.

    She’s seen human nature manifest in the ugliest of ways, countless times in all the different groups she’s been with. She’d let her defenses down, had hoped that this group would be different, but time tends to prove her wrong. Everywhere she goes she sees the worst side of humanity, witnessing it from different angles; greed, pride, anger, fear, contemn, folly, vice. The group of kids have been safe behind these walls and these parapets of stone, being sheltered from the sundry experiences that have shaped Clementine’s own views. The chariness of tonight suggests that, overall, the group is scared and unprepared, not necessarily the best place for survival. None of them really knew what to do or how to handle such an intense situation, which is quite disquieting given how much Clementine has come to care for the kids at the school.

  


_‘Well, it looks like we all might need some help.’_

  


She’s never really considered herself an expert in any sense of the word, but compared to the rest of the kids here she may as well be Alexander the Great. Maybe she could try to teach these guys what she knows about the outside world and how to better navigate the perilous pitfalls of ambiguous morals. After all, they’ve survived this long so it's not like they're unable, they were just never forced to do any of the things that had come her way. She doesn’t hold it against them nor is she envious, she only wishes the world didn’t necessitate having to be exposed to the worst parts of humanity. Of course everyone alive has had a tumultuous transition and has experienced their fair share of run-ins with depravity, but it seems the kids haven't had to deal with the worst of it yet.

   They’d seemingly been doing well enough, up until last year when they were ultimately forced by the harsh realities of the new world into a no win situation, finally compelled by forces not in their control. The people who’s rectitude died with the world and let loose their inhibitions flourished, not letting trivial ethics stand in the way of survival. Stealing and killing when it served them, sometimes just for the hell of it. The current state of the world has shown Clementine that most of the surviving humans aren’t under the sway of old world ethics. Morality is really just a tool of convenience, it’s a human construct that only holds power when everyone collectively assents to it. Which is to say, they make the rules. There are no good or bad actions in and of themselves, and the majority of survivors, herself included, bend concepts of morality when it suits their goal of survival. This reasoning begs the question: then why are Marlon’s actions so appalling? Where’s the line? Is it just because Brody was their friend that changes the tinting? Or was it the reason he chose to take her life that is so immoral?

 

_‘He was already living with friends. He was safe, he wasn’t struggling by himself. We all accept certain rules when we agree to live as a group. Maybe that’s why it feels so wrong. He violated some sorta unnamed social contract that he agreed to, that we all did when we decided to live together.'_

 

    She isn't insensate regarding death, she knows it's reprehensible and she hates how ingrained it is within her. But tonight is yet another example showing that this world requires some small amount of deviance, whether brought on through their own actions or things out of their control. When it comes to survival, it’s no longer a viable choice to hold onto old morals that impede that endurance; they need to be flexible in situations that call for it. They can't assume that everyone will follow invisible rules, let alone when their lives are at stake. Assumptions are dangerous, the world is tumultuous, and people make mistakes. When you look at it objectively, however thin you may split hairs, he did do it for his own self preservation, and if that's their entire goal what did he do wrong?  He lost his composure and lashed out, he made a mistake yes, but the precipitating cause was his own fear, and fear is just the motivation for self preservation. His lying had been the crux of Brody’s death, but the ultimate catalyst was his fear for his own survival; his cowardice the day he gave the twins away. Can anyone be held accountable when no ethical code has been ratified and agreed to by all parties? Who can even say to hold the power to tell someone how they should behave while trying to survive in a world this fucked? Who can they consult for guidance or look to for help?

    They are all living things that like living and want to continue living, it's natural to take the necessary actions to preserve that. At the end of the day, aren’t they all just animals reacting to the unfortunate situation they’ve been put in? A world that introduces unanswerable moral dilemmas. A place in which one hopes themselves to behave righteously, but when forced, the strong influence of self preservation and fear of death oftentimes makes people do the unthinkable. Compelling them to supersede any social obligations that constrain their ability to perform necessary actions for their survival. Looting, killing, kidnapping, lying, and cheating are cardinal virtues of war, and the new world is a constant battle.

  
  


_‘If I’m confused by this I can’t imagine what AJ has to deal with, growing up with no reference.’_

  
  


    Lolling her head to the side she watches the young boy's shoulders rise and fall with each low breath, and Clementine feels her heart graced with a warming flood of gratitude. She would do anything for him, she’s sure. She had already done so much just to get to this point, killed so many people. Souls who were just surviving, trying to navigate the wilderness with what they were given. People who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. People who deserved it, people who didn’t. She admits that there have been multiple times when the only things she could feel were pain and anger, times where she had wanted to give into her hopelessness. At those lowest of points the only thing that kept her going, kept her mind tethered to reality were her thoughts of AJ. Clementine hasn't been surviving for herself for a long time, AJ has been the reason for her continued survival; he is where she finds her will. He gave her access to the old values that she has been deprived of since she was a child. Feelings of love, friendship, hope, kindness, joy; in essence he was her humanity at the times she no longer felt human. She knows if she’d been alone all this time she wouldn’t be nearly as virtuous as she was with the little boy at her side, not as human. When AJ was taken from her she did some fucked up things, even if it wasn't entirely in her control; her past actions were closer to a cornered beast than a human. To Clementine, that episode was evidence enough of the dependency they mutually shared, they needed each other.

    When she was younger she was so stupid, she'd known nothing about what it took to survive, and others had paid for her mistakes. After Lee, amongst the various strangers she had found herself in the company of, she was mostly self reliant, she tried using her own internal reasonings to come to her own conclusions of the world. She's learned more about herself than she ever wanted, her own intolerances and breaking points, discovering her own strengths and weaknesses by process of trial and error. Gleaming ideas for her own ethical code from the individuals that drifted in and out of her life whom she regarded as great, and learning lessons from their mistakes. She was an onlooker to people pushed to the edge, a witness to the depths of human depravity, observing their desperate actions and ultimate downfall. And for the most part it worked, she was a more competent, successful survivor because of it, and hoped it made her a better person.

    After a while she learned that without common law it was safer, more practical to depend on single individuals than humans as a coalition. AJ is her person, and as his guardian, Clementine is going to protect him with her life. She promises this even when she knows safety and morality are not necessarily compatible concepts in this world, and is distinctly aware that depravity is a slippery slope. The only way she can ensure they survive while also holding to their humanity is by using what the dregs outside don't. The use of reason rather than base instincts is the only thing that separates her from animals, husks, and assholes. It's the only thing that gives rise to thoughts of morality and the ability to act ethically.

  


_‘Right now, there may be no one to set guidelines for him, but that just means I’m gonna have to work twice as hard. He’s only five, there's still so much he's gonna have to learn.'_

  


    Sighing, she shifted her head to stare at the bars above and can sense her mind slowing, expended by the days events. Thinking to tomorrow and what lay ahead, she's scared to admit she doesn’t know what the right thing to do is. Marlon had killed Brody in cold blood, no matter how you look at his decisions of last year. Can it truly be called murder if there are no laws that make it illegal? Marlon knew he had done wrong, after all, he himself has plead his guilt. Should old ways be given the final say when the context has changed or do they construct their own interpretations?

    There are no rules to follow anymore, no precedent to look to in an ethically insolvent world. They have to look around and decide their own rules. A terrifying amount of responsibility to wield with no right answers available. Who even has the right to decide what happens to someone? Who lives and who dies? But then again, she does it all the time. She decides constantly the fates of others whether she wants to or not. How many people have inadvertently died because of her stupid decisions? She’s often forced into the role of a killer and sometimes chooses the mantel herself. What makes her deliberate actions better than Marlon’s split second he lost composure? The justifications of course, she was surviving, saving AJ, trying to help someone, she had no other choice. He was scared that his own secrets would be disclosed, he was saving his own ass. But are their outcomes really that different, ending a life that wasn’t there’s to take? Do the ends justify the means?

    Trying to live in this bleak world is complicated, and there's no fucking right answer. There's no point to this mess they are in. In a chaotic and cold universe, no one can claim to know the right way to live.  How can she teach a kid the difference between right and wrong in this world, when she herself can’t distinguish between the two? The admitted answer is: she can’t, she can only do her best to help him. Not blindly give AJ her answers to the world, rather try her best to instill within him his own reasoning. The power to think for himself and draw his own conclusions successfully, and she knows he can do it. Aside from the dangers posed by the outside world, his irascible temperament is what's going to be the hardest obstacle. She doesn't blame the kid for having a temper, he has every reason to be angry, she just hopes it doesn’t cloud his receptive mind. But, the boy has already shown himself to be precocious, so it wouldn’t be impossible to guide him to a better path, even if the universe has the deck stacked against them. The best they can do in the face of hopelessness is look to the good of human nature and try to avoid base instincts whenever they can.

    Her own fear has shown her the dangers within the new world, broadly accounting for her continued survival, of course along with good ol’ luck. Eventually, through her many travails she came to see that fear keeps them alive, but also makes them selfish. However, they also have the ability to reason their way out of that instinctual fear. With this reason humans are able to develop values and beliefs that enrich their lives and create a better world. The only problem is that that world came and went, and those who hold to it end up dying too. In this new environment reason and fear are intimately linked, creating complex and interwoven conclusions that are ambiguous and open to debate. Testing the tenuous nature of humans by creating insoluble quandaries and desperate situations. The truth is, presently, they don’t all have the luxury to be 'good', current circumstances necessitates responsiveness, reacting to the environment and what's thrown at them. Currently, they are split between those who lose themselves in the pursuit of self preservation and those who maintain their humanity in the face of impropriety at the risk of their own life.

    Her eyes sting and sag with weariness, but cannot calm her nerves enough for sleep; her mind still too restless to let her fall. Instead she continues her train of thought, postponing her pending respite a bit longer. She ponders the implications and benefits of living with other people, and the dangers it creates. Life is easier when you don't have to look over your shoulder all the time and you have someone looking out for you. Survival is easier when you are not constantly defending yourself from all sides, it just makes sense, the benefits outweigh the detriments. The fact of the matter is, it's hard to compartmentalize ethical actions, while inversely being forced to perform unspeakable, oftentimes contradicting evils in the name of survival. Struggling between untenable social contracts, and self preservation as the engine for thoughts and actions. Creating mixed morals, blurred lines, and seemingly eternal suffering. The outside world creates situations in which one cannot always decide based on morals and survive, making even the most upstanding person alive today morally ambiguous at best.

    Clementine is at an impasse and doesn't know how to proceed. She has only been here for, what, two days? Should her vote have as much weight as the others, even if she was directly involved with the events? Everyone at the school, including her and AJ have a personal stake in the outcome, but should such a monumental decision be given to them or should it be up to the people who have been here and know Marlon, knew Brody? Does AJ even understand what’s happening right now?

  


_'Damn it, there's too much shit to deal with.'_

  


Maybe hearing what the others feel will give her some insight into her own ambivalence, and maybe she can help them in turn. She just hopes tomorrow won't be as bad as she thinks. With a final sigh she felt her energy seep away as her muddled mind vainly continued its fleeting ruminations. She doesn't notice, but eventually, her eyes shut, her breath slows, and she drifts into a fitful rest in anticipation for the waking hours.

 

 

* * *

  
  


    Violet hadn't been able to get back to sleep, instead fuming in her bed until she couldn’t tolerate the suffocating silence of her dorm. That's how she found herself slightly damp, basking in the moon’s light atop the bell tower, staring into the infinite tapestry of stars winking above. All night she couldn't stop replaying Marlon's words, rolling them over in her mind.

 

“She was my friend, too.”

"If they came back… I'd do it again."

"I didn't want to hurt anyone."

  


_'Fuck.'_

  


    She couldn't believe he could do something so fucked up. She knew he’s always sorta been a dick, but he had never shown any malice, never a sign of ill will towards their group. Which makes these revelations all the more disconcerting. Both he and Brody had lied to them for a year. Had looked them in the eyes and smiled, had joked. Brody fucking helped Tenn pack up his not-dead sister's belongings. Whispering consolations and rubbing his shoulder in support. Marlon had made a point to sit with her at dinner, apologizing for his inability to save them. She was too upset, too weak to listen to any details. Instead of asking about it, she waved him off and told him it wasn't his fault, there wasn’t anything he could do.

  


_'Motherfucker.'_

  


    What does it say about a person if they are able to do such fucked up things, then proceed to lie to the faces of their friends? Of Tenn. Who can live with themselves? It looks like the only person willing to continue the charade was Marlon. After a year, Brody had finally succumbed to the guilt she felt, and died for her trouble. Continuously going over the events of the night have done nothing to impede her ire, she can't fucking fathom it.

  


_'He's a lying piece of shit. Fuck, he… Brody.'_

  


    The reality of the situation hits her like kick to the chest, making her feel disjointed, like stepping away from her body before crashing back. She becomes more aware of her breathing as well as her heartbeat drumming in her ears. She couldn't help but become conscious of the scratching fibers of her clothes constricting her person, grating on her nerves. Her breath grew ragged as she shifts in her position, her growing discomfort heating her body intolerably. Scratching her neck with a frustrated sigh she settles her back against the wet cement, tucking one arm behind her head while crossing her legs at her ankles. Looking for patterns in the twinkling lights, she lets herself reminisce about the southern girl. She still held considerable resentment towards the girl for her omissions, but she was by no means a bad person who deserved to die for her mistake.

  


_'She was always so fucking nice. This was never the place for her.'_

  


    She recalls her first encounter with Brody, the girl was so… happy, it honestly irritated her for the majority of the time they were at school. She frequently went out of her way to walk with her to class, just cause, holding one sided conversations with ease. Violet didn't understand why the girl was so joyous, what with them living at a boarding school for troubled youth and all. Eventually, she got used to it, the prattling and the nonsensical chats, and, dare say, she even grew to tolerate the girls company. Not necessarily the drivel, but she appreciated the way she could always make someone feel welcome. Like they mattered when she talked to them. She somehow made it sound like anything could be possible, it was admirable how hopeful she was.

    And Violet, as to be expected, never really expressed her gratitude, she didn’t know how. To be honest, she didn't even consider Brody a _friend_ until the adults left, and even then she was still relatively churlish. Violet will admit, she was a bitch, but she was ten or eleven at the time so she thinks some forgiveness can be granted. She's come a long way from naive mockery and callous indifference, but still, she understands that her abrasive personality is very much a defining feature of hers. So, it makes her all the more laden with shame to acknowledge that she could have been a better person, a better friend, but she wasn't. Since last year she had been purposefully icy to the girl, curt, and most times biting as hell. After a decade of building a friendship, one year of growing distance, frustration, increasing annoyance, and unnecessary remarks led to the constant tension they held when around one another. The only person to blame was Violet. The only consolation in which she can take refuge is that her last conversation with the girl had been amiable, like a drop of water in a desert. Thanks to Clementine, an iota of guilt was removed from her conscience, but the larger ramifications of her shitty actions loomed over her heart, casting it in a haze of regret. Petrified with remorse, she lay in the drizzling rain, listening to the distant rumbling of thunder clouds rolling away.

    She stayed there until she was numb to the cold, quietly settled, letting her mind wander, considering the idea of the twins still being alive. Trying to think up the multiple scenarios that could have happened, might be happening, and ultimately coming up with nothing she thought could be plausible. She knows what she feels, but she is struggling to express herself, too many negative emotions vying for position. Overwhelmingly, the recrudescence of guilt has settled over her, though not near as dull as she was so inured. It seemingly ignited her being while at the same time drowned her in its undulations, her rushing blood muffled her hearing as a shiver shot through her spine. She can't stop thinking about the what if's and maybe's as her mind supplies her with memories and imaginings both. Of the twins, of Brody, of Marlon. Shared memories and forged bonds. Betrayal and deceit. And for the first time in a long time, Violet cries. Her tears stream freely as she sniffled, but no sounds escape her mouth as she stares blankly into the night sky, the gibbous moon the only witness to her infirmity.

 

 

* * *

  
  
  


Clementine blinked a few times before sitting upright, her groggy mind having been stirred awake by the strong smell of coffee filling the room.

 

“Made you some coffee. It was in the kitchen. Tenn said that I could have some. I didn’t steal it.” AJ said, rising from his squatted position over the burner to deliver the mug to her hands.

 

“I’m surprised you remember how to make it. We haven’t had coffee in a long time.” She said, accepting the offered cup.

 

“You put it in hot water.”

 

“You’re right. Thanks.” She takes a sip before she can let the slight embarrassment of being one-upped by a five-year-old get to her. The scalding liquid left the tip of her tongue burnt, but pleasantly filled her belly as she swallowed her small slug, leaving a warm trail through her chest.

 

Instead of wandering away, AJ stood before her, his countenance exuding trepidation, “Last night, with Marlon? I heard Violet and what she called him.” AJ started as he held one of his arms and looked down to his shuffling feet.

 

She is caught off guard when he looks up to her with his face pinched in anger,  “Why did you let him stay?” She gaped at him, surprised by the question and not ready with an answer.

 

“Violet said he was a murderer. But… but we’re supposed to kill bad stuff. Monsters? I thought Marlon was bad. He killed Brody, he… He kept telling lies.” AJ continued to reason as she tried to think of a response.

 

“Violet was right. Sometimes people do bad things, like Marlon did. But that doesn’t mean they’re monsters, and they definitely don’t deserve to die because of it.” Clementine decides to say.

  


_‘Guess now is as good a time as any to start some learning.’_

  
  


“But he killed Brody, he’s bad.” AJ said with exasperation in his voice, trying to understand.

 

“I know, AJ but just, uh… Just pretend it was me.” Clementine said, struggling to come up with a workable example for the boy.

 

“What?” He gapes, looking perplexed by her words.

 

“Pretend I was the one who killed Brody.” Clementine said, hoping she isn’t saying the wrong thing.

 

“But you wouldn’t do that.”

 

“I know, that’s why it’s make believe. So, pretend that I was the one who killed Brody. What would you think?” She said as she pats the space beside her in invitation.

 

AJ furrows his brows and frowns at the floor while making his way to sit at her side.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Just try to think."

 

“I said I don’t know!” he heatedly repeats as he crosses his arms and looks to his bed.

 

“AJ, hey, calm down. It’s okay to get upset when you’re confused, but when you let yourself be controlled by your anger, you can make mistakes. Just try to stop, and give yourself time to come up with an answer. It’s okay to not know everything.” she softly supplies in hopes of helping the boy through his frustration.

 

“What do we do when we get mad? We stop, we think, and we… “

 

“Breath.”

 

She places a comforting hand against the boys lower back and begins rubbing small circles. She feels his weight lean into her touch and she looks over to watch his profile. He takes several calming breaths before he lets out a final sigh, his posture collapsing as he looks down with a defeated expression.

 

“I would be sad.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I know you’re good and I love you.”

 

“And I love you, too, goofball. But why does that change how you feel when you think about me pretend killing Brody?”

 

“I… I don’t know.” he again repeats, but this time his words are quiet, tinted with confusion and sadness.

 

“And that is perfectly okay. Because we are going to figure it out together.” Clementine said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to pull him flush to her side. He lays his head on her shoulder as they both breath, only startled apart by a knock at the door.

 

The door opens to reveal Tenn, “Hey.” he said, making his way further into the room to stand before Clementine and AJ.

 

“Violet said to come get you for the funeral.” he explained.

 

“Already?”

 

“Mitch and Willy were digging a hole all morning, but they finally buried her.” he said before turning his attention to AJ.

 

“I brought you something.” he said, holding out one of the firemen the two had played with earlier.

 

“For me?” AJ utters, looking between Tenn and the toy.

 

“I figured you’d be afraid, with everyone all upset. But you were brave last night. Like a firefighter.” Tenn said as AJ reached out to grab the toy with a smile.

  
  


_‘God, I love this kid.’_

  
  


“What is that?" AJ asks, gesturing to the paper Tenn held in his other hand.

 

“It’s a drawing, for Brody. It’s of what she wanted. I’m going to put it on her grave.” Tenn said, shrugging his shoulders.

 

“She doesn’t need it. She’s dead. She’s not gonna get that stuff.” AJ unapologetically pointed out.

 

“That’s not why you do it.” Tenn awkwardly responds, voice slightly more timid than before.

 

“It’s a sweet idea, Tenn. It’ll look really nice on her grave.” Clementine diverts, not particularly thrilled with how AJ approaches certain topics. She makes a mental note to talk with him about it later.

 

“Thank you.” Tenn responds before smiling at AJ, “Have fun with your firefighter, okay?”

 

“Can we play with them later?” AJ hopefully asks.

 

“Sure. After the funeral. Vi’ll start it soon. See you out there.” he said, waving as he walks out of the dorm.

 

Clementine takes a deep breath before turning to address AJ, “This is going to be hard. Everyone’s going to be upset. We should show them we care, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

With that, they make their way to the graveyard, each heavy step bringing her closer to what she had been dreading all night.

  


* * *

  


“We’re here for Brody. She was our friend and she died. I, um… I. Shit.” Violet nervously began as everyone listened, foreign to giving eulogies, but determined to say something.

 

“She- she was… She was real sweet. Had all these big dreams. We all knew they couldn’t come true, but Brody, she didn’t care. And we wouldn’t care, we wouldn't care because when she was talking, whatever she said seemed possible.” Sadness erupted in her chest as she talked.

  
  


_‘Shit.’_

  
  


“We miss you, Brody.” she hears from her side.

 

“I don’t know where she found all that joy, but I’m going to miss her.” Violet finishes, sadly looking down at the mound of dirt.

 

Trying her best to keep her melancholy out of her voice, she looks up, “Tenn, you ready?”

 

The boy smiles at her as he walks to the center of the group, “Brody. You always said you wanted to go to the beach, so, I drew it for you.” he said before placing his drawing next to Ruby’s flower crown.

 

“Does anyone have anything else they want to say?” Violet questions, looking around at the forlorn faces of her friends. Not seeing a taker, she forged on, “Then, uh, I guess we’re done here.” A moment of silence passes as they all absorbed the emotional distress, standing solemnly over their fallen friends grave.

 

After a few minutes, Mitch crosses his arms over his chest as he coughs, looking to Violet, “So, now what? What are we gonna do about Marlon? Are we just-”

 

“Can we not do this next to her grave, please?” she interrupts, “Let’s go talk at the tables. Might as well get this shit over with.” she said, stalking over to the courtyard, not looking forward to whats about to come.

 

As soon as everyone is settled at the various tables she crosses her arms and begins, “Okay, so we’re doing this. Kick out the lying murderer or let him stay.”

 

“Come on, Vi, really?” Louis drawls, propping his hands on his hips as he scowls.

 

“Are you saying that’s not what he is?”

“No, but is that really how you’re going to-”

 

“Stop.”

 

They both stop their bickering to look over at Clementine leaning both hands against a table.

 

“We’re not going to get anywhere by yelling over each other. Let’s solve this like rational people and put it to a vote. I’ll start. I vote he be locked up. Ruby?”

 

“I- I just don’t feel safe with him around. I don't think he should stay here.” Ruby said with a trembling voice that gave away her nerves.

 

“Okay, Omar?” Clementine prompts, looking to their chef.

 

“He has to leave.”

 

“Louis?”

 

Louis looks to Omar, hurt emanating from his soulful eyes, before heaving a sigh and walking to stand in front of the group. “Look guys. I know what Marlon did was unforgivable, but we can’t just act like the last decade didn’t happen. He’s still our family. Listen, I know --I KNOW-- what he did was fucked up, but everyone deserves a chance to fix their mistakes, I know I would want one, and I would give any of you here one, too. I say we keep him locked up until we decide he can be trusted enough to-"

 

“I’m never going to trust that fucking rat.” Violet interrupts, sick of Louis defending the indefensible.

 

“So what then, Vi? We just let him go free?” Louis throws back as he replaces his hands on his hips, just as ready to argue his side as she was.

 

“We let him fend for himself. Why should we give him food and water while keeping him safe and protected? That sounds like a pretty fucking good time in an apocalypse. I say we let that asshole find his own way, it’s not our problem anymore.” she darkly finishes.

 

“God, listen to yourself. You sound just like the adults. He’s our _family_ . You might not care that much about family, but _I’m_ not just gonna turn my back on someone I care about!” Louis said in a raised voice, riled and upset.

 

Violet’s spine stiffens and she momentarily freezes as he hurls his words, stunned that Louis was angered enough to hint at her past misdeed. She was staggered by his words, but pushed through with a forced huff of laughter. Shaking her head, she looks up from the floor to look at Louis, “Good for you. I guess Brody, Sophie, and Minnie just weren’t important enough to you, huh?” She said with a contemptuous smile, shaking her head in disbelief.

 

“Fuck you, you know that’s not what I mean. Don’t make me look like the bad guy here. I’m just tryi-”

 

“That’s the thing, Louis. I’m not trying to make you the bad guy. I’m TELLING you Marlon is. And you’d know it if you weren’t so used to burying your head in the sand.”

 

“Oh, I’m burying my head in the sand? Hate Marlon all you want, but you can’t tell me you think he’s the only one to blame here.”

 

“Uh, yeah. That’s exactly what I’m saying. He murdered Brody because she gave away his secret.”

 

“It was their secret.”

 

“Are you fucking seriously trying to imply Brody deserved to be killed by that-”

 

“NO! I’m saying we all-”

 

“GUYS, guys! Enough. We need a vote.” Clementine interrupts them, brows creased in frustration.

  
  


_‘Screw this.’_

  
  


Shaking her head she starts backing away, “I’ve said all I have say. You guys do what you want, I’m outta here.” Violet mutters, shrugging her arms in defeat before turning and walking away.  Her mind was set on being alone, and luckily enough, she knew just the place where no one would find her.

  


 

* * *

  
  
  


She sadly watches as Violet sulked off, walking away from their discussion with her head hung low. Everyone stayed silent as she rounded the corner, tension palpable around the tables. She can’t help but feel for the girl, but she won’t be able to talk with her until later. Right now, she wanted to make sure they got this vote over with.

 

“Fuck. Okay, Aasim?” Clementine continues, trying her best to keep things moving.

 

“Listen, Lou, I know he’s your best friend. But I don’t think it’s worth the risk. Sorry, but I vote he goes.” Aasim said, his eyebrows drooping in empathy.

 

“Mitch?” She prompts.

 

“Fuck I… Fuck." he began, running a hand over his face, "I think he needs to get his ass kicked. And you can bet I’m gonna be the first one in line. But… Damn it.  Louis is right. This world is hard enough, if your family isn't going to give you a second chance, who will? Maybe we should give him a chance to atone or something. I say we lock him up.”

 

“Willy?”

 

The boy’s eyes flit between the surrounding teens before nervously facing her, “Yeah, uh. I say jail.”

 

Hesitantly, Clementine casts her eyes over to Tenn, “And you, Tenn. What do you think?”

 

As all eyes turn to him, Tenn instantly looks down to his fiddling digits as his prepubescent voice wavered and cracked, “Uh, I, um. I- I think the right thing is for him to be given a punishment for the bad stuff he did. And I think the best way we can do that, is by keeping him in a jail.” Tenn said, lifting his eyes to meet her own. She flashes him a kind smile before turning to address the group as a whole.

 

“Okay, then it’s settled. We-” Clementine begins.

 

“Wait! Don’t I get a vote?”  AJ rushes, interrupting her.

 

“Sorry, bud, but not with this.” she tells him in the hopes that he would drop it.

 

“But-” he tried.

 

“Uh-uh. This is not up for debate. End of discussion.” Clementine said, shutting him down.

 

“Fine.” he huffs dejectedly, watching his swinging legs.

 

“So it’s decided. He stays a prisoner until we figure out what to do with him.” she announces, relieved that the vote was finally over with.  
  
“Well if he’s staying first things first. We need to set up a shift schedule to keep watch on him, maybe overlap it with the current lookout routine. I want to feel safe behind our walls, and if we’re keeping a killer, we can’t take any chances.” Aasim states, looking around at everyone as they nod.

 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. Would you be willing to write it out?” Louis asks, coming to stand next to her.

 

“No problem.” Aasim responds, nodding in affirmation.

 

“Ooookay. So it’s settled. I guess I’ll go talk to Marlon and tell him the decision.” Louis said.

 

“I’ll come with you, if you want.” Clementine said, getting a nod in return.

 

“Perfect. Okay, I guess that’s it. We can talk specifics tomorrow, but for now, I say everyone deserves a break.” Louis announces, “Come on, lets go.” he says, nudging her with an elbow.

 

As they walk the short distance to the cellar doors, Louis gets her attention, “Hey, uh. Sorry about all that back there. With Violet. I know it got a little crazy.” he said while scratching the back of his head.

“Well, everyone had a lot of cause to be upset, so I don’t think anyone will hold it against you. I'm sure Vi'll come around, just give her some time.” she said, wanting to dissuade his unease.

 

“... I hope so.” Louis murmurs, so low Clementine wonders if it was for her. She thinks to ask if there was something more, but his faraway gaze stops her from prying.

 

Making their way down the steps, she held her breath as they walked around the large bloodstain to venture deeper into the basement. Turning when they reach the second patch of dried blood, they slowed their pace as Marlon’s blonde hair came into view. Last night, they had tied his legs to the chair and securely fastened his arms against himself. His head was bowed, but at the sound of their footsteps, it snapped up as his icy blue eyes looked at them with panic and alarm.

 

“Relax, we’re not going to do anything.” Clementine said, pacifyingly holding her hands up and walking slowly, as if approaching a wild animal. He looks between the two of them, eyes holding an undeniable frenzy she has seen many times throughout her life; cornered.

 

“We took a vote. You have to be locked up, Marlon. It’s what needs to be done.” Louis said, crossing his arms and looking away. When Clementine watches Louis fold into himself, she fleetingly thinks that she’s never seen the other boy look so diminutive.

 

“What?” Marlon dryly whispers, looking to Louis before swinging his red-rimmed gaze to her. “What does that mean?” he croaked.

 

“It means from now on you are going to be treated like a criminal. You’re going to be kept cordoned off, probably locked up in here. You’re going to have someone outside your door at all times. You’re going to be doing any work that we give you. And you’re no longer going to be considered a priority concerning food, water, or medicine. But we’re not gonna let you die.” Clementine tells him, cold and practiced, crossing her arms as she put on a face of unreadable stoicism.

 

Marlon absorbs each word, listening with a broken expression before casting it to the desk in front of him. He nods his head, as he began sniffling, before finally letting out muffled whimpers. Each escaped cry shaking his frame as she and Louis glanced at each other.

 

“I… I have to ask, Marlon. What happened? Why’d you do it?” Louis asks, the trepidation clear in his voice.

 

At this Marlon starts to sob, letting his head fall further. After a minute he sniffed before lifting his bloodshot gaze to Louis.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Louis. I- I’m s-so sorry. Man, I’m so fucking sorry.” She glanced to her boots as the boy sobbed, feeling out of place in the personal moment.

 

“I never wanted to hurt anyone. Please, I just… I couldn’t-” he is cut off by himself, unable to control his hiccups.

 

“I didn’t know what to do, and I was too scared to-” he again interrupts himself as he continues his sobbing.

 

“Why didn’t you tell any of us? Ask us for help? Ask me?” Louis gets out, he himself talking through tears.

 

“None of you would have understood. No one can understand this shit.” Marlon said, sucking in a hiss of breath and letting it out in a puff. He sniffs, composing himself enough to continue, “I know it was bad, but I didn’t know what to do, I-I didn’t… it was an accident. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

 

“Your intentions don’t mean shit. Brody’s dead, and you killed her.” Clementine interjects, wanting to steer the conversation to where her instincts told her.

 

He turns to look at her, before dropping his gaze in shame as she continues, “But you can start doing right by her and the twins by helping us.”

 

She waits for him to tentatively look up before continuing, “Who are those raiders?”

  


 

* * *

  
  
  


_‘So the bastard gets to stay. Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable.’_

  


    After a time Violet had come down from the tower, hoping to sate her curiosity. As she had feared, he had gotten the majority vote and now they are living with a proven murderer. After receiving the news from Ruby she quietly retired to her dorm, and has been passing the time alone. She can't say how long she's been staring at the slow spinning of the ceiling fan, but the lack of sunlight clued her in on the fact that she had essentially spent the day in her mind. She doesn’t really feel like talking to anyone, satisfied instead with her brooding. She's not angry, she’s outraged. How could they vote for a lying murderer? Did Brody’s life even fucking matter? Violet’s not going to ask who voted what after she left because she knows it’ll just add to her frustrations. Instead she’s decided to direct her anger at Marlon. All of this is his fault, and it pissed her off that he got a second chance when the girls didn’t.

  


_‘He’s a fucking coward. And if we’d asked more questions last year, none of this would have happened.’_

  


    There can be an argument made that they are all to blame for the terrible circumstances. If she thought she had felt guilty before, it was nothing compared to the weight beginning to press down now. All those times she silently berated herself for not asking Marlon about what happened, all those times she caught Brody looking at her with a guilty expression, all those what if’s that she thought of, but never acted on. And they were alive the whole fucking time. Who is to say they are still alive after a year, but who’s to say they aren’t? They could be alive right now, and all she’s been doing is moping and feeling sorry for herself.

  
  


_‘If I’d just gotten off my fucking ass, and did something.’_

  
  


What something could have been done, she doesn't know. All she knows is she's had a year, and she didn’t do a goddamn thing. Hell, if she hadn’t been a bitch to Brody, maybe the girl would have confided in her, instead of being driven mad by the constant gnawing of guilt and fear. Thinking about it, that sounds exactly like something Brody would do.

  
  


_‘Fuck.’_

  
  


She feels her stomach fallout as her guilt compounds, twisting in knots and festering irritably. She guesses, in his own way, Louis was right. They all share a part in what happened, to both the twins and Brody. And she can’t help but feel that the only reason she doesn’t want to accept the truth is because she has the most to answer for. Behind Marlon and Brody, she was among the most culpable, the most out of the rest of the group that’s for sure. Minnie was her fucking girlfriend, and she didn’t ask a single question about her disappearance, she’d just accepted Marlon’s lie. Though guilty as she is, she is not blind to the fact that Marlon is the person who had done wrong and should deserve the blame. And she does, she blames him for everything, but outvoted, she can’t do anything about it, all she can do now is try to move forward. Before her ruminations could swirl any further, a knock startles her back to reality.

 

“Violet. It’s me, Clementine. Can I come in?”  
  
She thinks about just staying silent to feign sleep. She doesn’t know if she will even be able to act like a human being right now. She already has trouble expressing herself, and at this moment, she knows she's particularly uncommunicative. But as she thinks of the girl on the other side of her door she feels a tug pull at her conscience. Before she knows what she is doing, the words have already left her mouth.

 

“It’s open.”

 

As her door creaks open she sees Clementine’s smiling face poke in, before letting her whole body through and closing the door behind her.

 

“Hey.” Clementine whispered as she walked toward her bed.

 

“Hey.” Violet responds, looking away from the fan to attempt a smile, but judging by Clementine’s frown, she wasn’t very convincing. Clementine begins, “We uh, we missed you at dinner.” she said, pointing a thumb over her shoulder.

 

She looks back to the fan, “Sorry, I’m not that hungry.”

 

“No, no, you don’t need to apologize. I was just, uh… Worried, I guess. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

  


_‘Why does she care?’_

  
  


“Why do you care?”

  
  


_‘Shit, did I say that out loud? Fuck.’_

  


“Well, I like to think we’re friends. And as your friend, I’m a little worried. I just wanted to make sure you were holding up okay. After the vote and all.” Clementine trails off somewhat awkwardly. Flicking her eyes back to Clementine, she sees the girl stroking the back of her neck nervously. Violet looks at her for a few seconds before looking to the roof with a sigh, and sitting up with a frown. Propping her elbows on her knees she grabs her wrist, linking her arms as she looks down to the girl standing in the middle of her floor.

 

“Um. I’m good. Don’t- don’t worry about it, I’m just… Coping, I guess. A lot of shit, ya know?” she apprehensively looks away from the girl to examine her fidgeting hands, before looking back up.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clementine quietly asks, head tilted up to keep eye contact with her.

 

She slightly opens her mouth to try to respond, but doesn’t really know what to say to that. She settles on a slight shake of her head, shutting her mouth and letting her head fall forward.

 

“Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Tenn was asking for you. No one really knew where you were.” as she listens to Clementine say this, she closes her eyes in shame.

  


_‘I’m here feeling sorry for myself when Tenn is the one who needs support right now. So stupid.’_

  


“Is he okay?” Violet asks, looking into the girls golden orbs that still somehow shined as bright in moonbeams as they did in the sun.

 

She watched as the amber softened, before Clementine answers her, “He was a bit upset this morning, but AJ’s been playing with him. I think it’s been helping keep his mind off of things.”

 

“Shit. Maybe I should go talk to him.” Violet said, letting herself slink off her bunk, dropping to her feet with a soft thud. “You know where he is?”

 

“Yeah, he and AJ are out in the courtyard drawing. I’ll walk with you, if you don’t mind.” Clementine says, a smirk tugging on her lips as she slowly walked backwards to the door. Violet couldn’t stop the small tick of her mouth as she watched the adorably mundane display in front of her.

 

“Oh, I very much do mind.” She deadpans as she walks to open the door for them. “But I think I’ll live.” Clementine chuckles at her words as they step into the hallway. After closing her door behind her she turns forward to see Clementine already walking towards the doors.

 

Falling in step with the other girl, Violet shyly looks over to her, “Uh, thanks.” she said before looking forward.

 

Clementine huffs out a breath of laughter before responding, “For what?”

 

“Coming by. You didn’t have to. I know I was sort of a bitch this morning. The guys usually know to stay away when I’m pissed, so… thanks for caring, I guess.” Violet said, too nervous to look away from her feet as they walked to the front door.

 

“Hey, you weren't being a bitch, you're completely justified.” Clementine assured, then, quickly tacked on, “And, uh, I’ve also been told I’m a great listener. So if you ever need to talk, I’m always up for it.” she finished, turning to her with caring eyes as she pushed open the heavy wooden doors.

 

“Uh, thanks.” she mumbles with a bashful smile directed at the floor.

  


_‘Damn it, she’s really fucking thoughtful. And cute. Shit.’_

  


As they made their way down the steps, she saw AJ and Tenn at a table while Louis and Aasim sat chatting at another.

 

“Hey, goofball. You finished yet?” Clementine asks, sliding onto the bench next to him.

 

“Uh-uh. Don’t look!” AJ said, sitting up on his knees to shield the paper with his body as he continued to scribble.

 

Hearing their words, Tenn curiously looked up from his own drawing, catching sight of Violet. “Hey, Vi.” he said with a smile.

 

Feeling herself slightly relax at the sight of his happy face she raises a corner of her mouth in turn,  “Hey, bud. How ya doing?” she softly said as she walked around the table to sit next to him.

 

“I’m okay, I’ve just been drawing. You wanna see what I did?” Tenn asks, putting his pencil down.

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

Tenn flips over a few pages before stopping on a picture of him and the twins standing next to some trees.

 

“I did this one earlier, but… “ Tenn said before flipping the page, “I just finished this one, look.” and she does, leaning forward to show her interest. He had drawn a pretty good picture of Brody along with Rosie, sitting in the back of a truck.

 

“I really like this one.” Violet said, as a fond smile graced her face.

 

“Here.” he said as he began neatly tearing the perforation, “You can have it. It might look nice in your room, maybe.”

 

As Tenn slid the drawing to her, she looked down and touched it with a hand before smiling at the boy, “Thanks, Tenn. I really appreciate it.”

 

Tenn beams in response before starting again on his new drawing. Staring down at the crudely depicted dream, she smiles, imagining this to be the exact thing Brody would have loved to do.

 

When she looks up from the drawing she catches Clementine quickly jerk her head to AJ, ducking away so her hat obstructed her features. Before she could say anything, Clementine clears her throat, “You, uh, you sure you don’t want to eat tonight? I can go get you a plate if you want?” she asks, voice slightly higher than her normal husk while starting to lift off the table.

 

“It’s okay, Clem. You don’t have to.” Violet responds, shaking her head.

 

“You haven’t eaten all day. I’ll just get a little, you don’t have to finish it. It would make me feel better knowing you ate something. Please?” she insisted, lifting her leg over the bench.

 

“Oh. Um, yeah. Sure. Thanks.” she awkwardly stumbles over her words as the other girl beams before walking to get her food. As she watches Clementine walk away she notices how fast her heartbeat was going, how warm her face had gotten. How a flutter had made itself known when the other girl smiled at her. How much Clementine seemed to care. How her honey colored eyes seemed to convey her emotions so clearly, showing a kind heart.

  


_‘Shit.’_

  


    Violet knows herself well enough to spot when she is enamored with someone, and she is slightly panicked to have this realization dawn on her so suddenly. She has only known Clementine for barely three days and she already has a crush on the girl. It took her two frigging years to admit to herself she had a crush on Minnie, and still, she wasn’t even the one to acknowledge or act on it. Then again, she had been way too young and confused with Minnie, and now that she’s had years to understand herself she is much more receptive to these things. It was obvious Clementine was quite attractive, and her rugged exterior was badass, no doubt. Though, after having a few conversations with the girl she has come to see how pleasant she was to be around. She was the opposite of herself, friendly and smart, unflappable and engaging, she really was a pretty appealing person. Violet knows Louis has been interested from day one, and now that she has gotten to know the other girl, she understands his haste.

 

“Here ya go.” Clementine says, placing a small portion of food in front of her, startling Violet from her thoughts.

 

“Thanks.” she says with a smile, trying to hold eye contact, but ends up looking to her food as her heart lurches and her stomach flips nervously. They sit in silence for a few minutes as she ate and Clementine watched AJ color. Trying to fight through her awkwardness she takes a breath, and before she takes a bite she gets the girls attention. She's had a question that she hasn't been able to stop thinking about since last night, and now seems a good a time as any to ask.

 

“Hey, you guys talked to Marlon, right?”

 

Clementine nods, “Yeah. Louis and I told him what’s gonna be happening with him.”

 

“Did, uh… Did he say anything about the people that took the twins?”

 

At this, the girl furrows her brows and crosses her arms on the table. Clementine glances over to the drawing boys before turning back and inclining her head to a vacant table. Nodding in acquiescence, she picks up her bowl before they both walked to a secluded table.

 

“I asked him about it.” Clementine starts as soon as they are seated, “He said he didn’t know much, but he seemed sure that the only reason they were so close to the school was because they were planning something.”

 

“Something?” Violet asks in alarm, spoon stopping midway to the bowl.

 

“He said he thinks they’re coming.”

 

“What, what the fuck. Why?” she asks, getting increasingly worried.

 

“The same reason they took the twins. According to Marlon, the reason they wanted them was because they need more people in their community.” Clementine said, rolling her eyes.

 

“You don’t think so?” she asks, watching the girl as she resumed her meal.

 

“No. Well, yes, I do think they could be coming. And I do think they want able bodies, but I don’t think they _just_ need help in a community. They’re stealing kids for a reason, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to find out what that reason is.” Clementine said, a look of determination written on her face.

 

Nodding in agreement, Violet gestures her spoon to Clementine, “So what do you think we should do?”

 

“I think the only thing we _can_ do is set up fortifications. Hunker down and get ready to defend ourselves. Get this place prepared for a fight.”

 

“Well, that’s easier said than done. Especially when no one's telling them what they gotta do.” she states before taking another spoonful into her mouth.

 

Clementine sighs at that, “Yeah, today was rough. Nothing got done. Everyone was on edge, even Louis. I think there’s too-”

 

“You guys talking about me over here?” Louis’ voice interrupts, announcing his presence. The two girls glance in his direction as he sauntered to stand by them.

 

“So, what's happenin'?" he cheerily said, grabbing a chair to sit on, turning it backwards before plopping down.

 

“Violet and I were just talking about tomorrow. About what to do.” Clementine informs him.

 

Louis must receive her meaning because his face falls before he less enthusiastically replies, “Oh yeah. That. So, did you guys come up with anything yet?”

 

She and Clementine exchange a look before returning their eyes to Louis, and Clementine continues, “I think the smartest thing to do is to be prepared.”

 

“Yeah be prepared! We’ll be prepared… for what?” Louis asks in confusion.

 

Violet rolls her eyes and returns to her food as Clementine continues, “For anything. We have to make some fortifications, maybe set up some traps. Do any of the kids know how to fight hand-to-hand?” Clementine asks, looking between her and Louis.

 

“Wellll that depends.” Louis begins, “I mean, can we start a fight? Yeah. Will we win? Ehhh. They don’t exactly cover this subject in boarding school.” Louis responds, shrugging his shoulders.

 

“As long as you’re willing to fight, you have a chance. So, maybe that’s what we start with. Get everybody up to speed and make sure they know what’s coming.” Clementine said, stirring nods from her and Louis.

 

“Okay, sounds like a plan. Tomorrow morning we’ll bring it up after breakfast. But tonight… what do you guys say to a little game.” Louis said with a grin, wagging his eyebrows.

 

“I’m actually pretty tired. I’m just gonna turn in.” she said as she stood from the table, “I’m gonna say goodnight to Tenn and AJ. See you guys tomorrow.” she waves, and before they could respond she began walking towards the two coloring boys. She didn’t want to upset Louis or make things weird, but she just couldn’t face him right now and pretend she was okay. In the heat of the argument, they had both said shitty things and she wasn’t holding it against him. But that didn’t stop the feelings his words earlier had caused. She didn’t want him to know how much it got to her, she knows he didn’t mean it. It would pass, she’s sure, she just needed some time to get over it.

 

“Okay, Tenn. I’m going to head in. You gonna stay out much longer?” Violet asked as she reaches their table.

 

“Only a little longer, I’m just gonna finish one more thing…” Tenn said, voice trailing off, too absorbed in his drawing to continue his sentence.

 

“Don’t stay up too late. See ya tomorrow. Night Tenn, night AJ.” Violet said, waving to the two as she went in the direction of the steps.

 

“Goodnight”

“Night, Vi”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“Shit.” Louis whispers as Violet disappeared behind the doors of the school.

 

“What?” she asked, looking away from the empty bowl across from her to see Louis’s face pinched in sadness.

 

He looks down to the table, “No, I just… I was hoping Violet would stay up with us, but I guess she has the right idea. Maybe we should all try to get some rest. Long day tomorrow, huh?” he said, face releasing its pained pinch for his normal smile as he stood from the table. Clementine wants to ask, but she gets the feeling it might be a bit too personal for him to be willing to share, so she lets it be.

 

She instead nods her head, “Mmhm, I think you’re right.”

 

She too stands from the table, walking to stand by AJ and gently put a hand in the path of his crayon. “Okay, Alvin Junior. Time for bed. Say goodnight.”

 

AJ looks up to her with a disappointed pout, but still, he begins to put his crayons away. “Goodnight.” he said to Tenn.

 

“Goodnight, AJ. See you tomorrow.” Tenn said, also beginning to put his colored pencils away.

 

She cast a quick glance around the courtyard and saw Louis sat by the campfire, elbows propped on his knees as he studied the dancing flames. Raising her voice enough for it to carry over, she called out to him, “Night, Louis. Don’t stay up too late.”

 

He gives her a mock salute with a toothy grin before going back to watching the fire.

 

Shaking her head with a fond smile she looks over to see AJ coming up by her side, “You gonna let me see your picture yet?” she mirthfully questioned, smiling as they began their walk to their room.  
  
“It’s _almost_ done. You can see it tomorrow, promise.” he said, hugging the paper to his stomach.

 

“You better. Our walls are looking pretty boring.” she said, smiling down at the boy.

 

“We got two pictures on the wall already.”

 

“Have.”

 

“We _have_ two pictures on our wall already.”

 

“And I think it would look a whole lot nicer if we had more pictures, don’t you?” she asks, tilting her head as she opened one of the schools massive doors.

 

He nods in agreement and looks up to her with an excited smile, “I bet I can make enough to cover the whole wall."

 

“The whole wall?” she repeats in shock, gaping at the boy and trying to keep a straight face.

 

“Yup. All of it.” he assured, smiling as he looked forward.

  
  


_‘This dork.’_

  
  


“Woah. Then I guess you better get started first thing tomorrow.” she said, unable to keep the smile off her face. “To cover our _whole_ wall. Man, that would take, like… a million drawings.”

 

At her words, AJ’s smile drops as he looks to her with a stunned gaze and a wrinkled brow. When he sees her grinning, he giggles, “No, it won’t.”

 

Chuckling she admits, “Okay, maybe not a million, but we’re still gonna need a whole bunch. Think you’re up for it?” she asks, looking to him with a raised eyebrow as they stopped at their door.

 

“Uh-huh. I think so.”

 

She smiles as she opens the door and ushers him in. Closing it behind her she turns in time to see AJ crawl into his bed. She makes her way to the dresser, removing her hat to place it by the candle and running a hand through her hair. Turning, she squats down so she can talk to AJ, "Okay, AJ. You ready go to sleep?"

 

"Yup." He yawned, the gifted toy firefighter in his hands. She can’t help the smile that makes its way onto her face, happy at the prospect of AJ having friends his own age.

 

"Okay, goofball. Sleep tight, don't let the walker bite. And if it does…"

 

"Bang."

"Bang."

 

"Love you, Clem." AJ mumbles, eyes shut.

 

She stands to her full height before responding, "Love you back."

 

Blowing out the candle she slowly she makes her way over to her bed, sinking her body into the soft padding and letting out a long sigh. Today had indeed been trying, but it wasn’t as bad as she was dreading the night before. Most of the day had been mild and uneventful, apparently the kids were really listening to Louis when he had said to take a break. The most enlightening part of the day had been her and Louis’ talk with Marlon. It had taken a couple hours to get a semi coherent story from the blabbering boy, as he was barely able to go two sentences without breaking into gasps or sobs. But the picture he did depict didn’t seem very good for them. The woman that Marlon had made the deal with warned him that her group was a big community with a lot of fire power. Marlon said the group that had ambushed them last year had consisted of five adults with various firearms, which seemed like enough to corroborate the woman’s threat and scare him into submission. They told him they would be back, and he was sure that the guy from the train station was one of the guys from last year fulfilling their promise.

    So that’s where they're at right now, targets of a large, mysterious, well equipped, immoral band of adults who want nothing more than to kidnap her and her friends. Things are not looking in their favor right now, but she imagines, given enough time to prepare, they could scrape something together. She’s beaten worse odds, after all. It would probably be in their best interest to try to get more information on these guys, so she’s probably going to have to talk with Marlon again at some point. And she's probably going to have to explore the borders of his safe zone and investigate why he deemed it dangerous. Maybe Violet will agree to come with her tomorrow to scope out the area, see if they come across anything that will offer details on the raiders. When the thoughts of the quiet girl enter her head, her heart begins stinging with empathy. She knows this entire situation they’re in is unfair and completely fucked up, but it seems the blonde was at the receiving end of most of the emotional fallout. Violet had already told her she felt guilty, but with recent transpirings, Clementine could only hope she wasn't blaming herself too harshly. She saw it in her slender face tonight, the same dullness behind her eyes that she had seen when looking at her own reflection so many times before. Clementine couldn't say why, but she had a strong urge to ensure the girl, make her feel… better, somehow. Clementine wanted to help the shy girl, but she didn't even know her that well, how would she approach her? It didn’t sit right with her knowing the other girl was alone while undoubtedly experience emotional turmoil, but she wasn't close enough to her to just walk up and prod at personal information. A yawn escapes her and she closes her eyes, still thinking up ways she could try to cheer up the pale girl. With drowsiness lowering her inhibitions, her thoughts soon stray from how to help Violet feel better to how soft her mussed hair looked in the moonlight. As her mind steadily slipped she hazily decides she’ll talk to Violet in the morning, and unwittingly, begins drifting off to sweet visions of green eyes and timid smiles.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


    The next morning found Violet eating her breakfast alongside Clementine and Ruby. While she ate, she listened in as the two girl were amiably talking, their rambles eventually arriving on the topic of their favorite foods. She listened in as she ate her soup, wishing, not for the first time, her immature palate could again indulge in the satisfying taste of crispy, tender chicken nuggets.

  


_‘Never woulda thought I’d consider McDonald’s a delicacy.’_

  


With a longing sigh she brings a spoonful of rabbit stew to her mouth, unknowingly eliciting a look of worry from the brunette sat across from her. As Clementine clears her throat, Violet looks up, "Hey, Violet, would you want to come out scouting with me this afternoon?"

 

Dropping her spoon back into her soup she answers the brunette, "Uh, sure. What are we gonna do?" she asks, wanting to know what she's agreeing to.

 

"I wanted to try and check out the boundaries of Marlon’s safe zone today."

 

"Are you sure that's a good idea? We just ran into that weirdo at the train station, who knows who could be out there?" Violet apprehensively pointed out, not thrilled at the idea of knowingly putting themselves in danger.

 

"I know, but I think it’s worth the risk.” Clementine started before sending a quick glance to Ruby, who was now finishing her meal, “I think it could help us with that thing we were talking about last night.”

 

Violet wasn’t completely convinced with how fruitful the trip would be, but as she looked into the girls amber eyes she couldn’t help but feel she could trust the girls words. She still felt uneasy about the entire thing, but the conviction she held for the girl outweighed any inhibitions she was holding.

 

“If you’re sure it’ll help us… “

 

“Don’t worry, I’m sure. I wouldn’t ask you if I thought it was too risky.” Clementine assured.

 

“Okay, sounds like a plan.” she said, doing her best to ignore the swooping sensation in her stomach, hoping it was caused by her anxiety and not by the girl sat across from her.

 

“Perfect, we can go a bit after breakfast, if that’s cool with you?” Clementine asks, smiling prettily as she picked up her spoon to continue her meal. Violet’s insides melt at the sight, and she has to glance away before she could respond.

 

“Whenever's good.”

 

“For the record, “ Ruby said, pointing her spoon between her and Clementine, “I think it’s a bad idea. But I know how much y'all listen to me, so I’m just gonna tell ya to be careful. And _try_ to come back in one piece." She said, smiling to Clementine, who bashfully looked to the table.

 

"I'll see y'all later.” Ruby said, standing to dispose of her dish.

 

"Bye, Rube."

"See ya."

 

Left alone with Clementine she sneaks a quick glance and can already feel her heart picking up. Looking to her soup, she tries to avoid eye contact, suddenly feeling extremely awkward sitting alone with her crush. Violet’s never been good with her feelings, and to say this crush came at a bad time is an understatement. Not to mention the object of her active imaginings is Clementine, a girl who's just arrived, and has shown herself to be a genuinely great person, helping them in more ways than she could say. She didn’t want things to be weird between them, so she was determined to be as normal as possible. Well, as normal as she was capable of, anyway.

 

“I've been wanting to ask. How's AJ been doing?" Violet softly asks, bringing Clementine’s golden gaze away from her food. As their eyes meet Violet feels electricity shiver down her spine.

 

"I… want to say he's doing okay, but I don't know how true it is. I think having Tenn and Willy around has been helping him, I just… I know he's scared and confused." Clementine says, sad eyes looking to the table.

 

"I'm sorry, I know it's been crazy here these past couple days, especially for someone as young as AJ."

 

At this Clementine chuckles, "Trust me. This is the best we've had it in a while. Even if some shit's going down, I think we're way better off with you guys than out there. So, thanks for that. Most groups wouldn't have thought twice about leaving two kids to die, let alone letting them stay."

 

Living at the school since the beginning, Violet's never really thought about how hard it would be to have to join another group, "That's fucked up. I'm sorry to hear you and AJ have had it rough."

 

"We get by. It's pretty hard, but… I dunno.” Clementine said, eyebrows crinkling, “I think the lessons we took from outside are invaluable. If I had to make a choice, I wouldn't trade it for walls and a bed."

 

"Would you say it was worth it, then? Having to live out there in constant danger?" Violet curiously asks, slightly surprised by her answer.

 

"Worth it?” Clementine parrots, cocking her head to the left and squinting into the space above her, “I'm not sure those are the words I'd use. Maybe… it was necessary.” she said swinging her eyes back to Violet. “Something that I think everyone is gonna have to learn sooner or later if they want to survive."

 

Nodding her head, Violet leans back in her chair and crosses her arms, “Yeah, I guess. I don't think I'd last three days out there by myself." she said casually, as if she was stating the weather.

 

"Maybe not right now, but you don't give yourself enough credit. I mean, you've made it this far, I don't see why you couldn't figure it out. You guys just need a little more conditioning and exposure, and I'm sure you'll feel more confident."

 

"Oh? So you're volunteering to teach us how not to die?" Violet asked with a smirk.

 

"All ten kids?” Clementine asks, smiling, “That's a pretty big order. Maybe I'll just start with you, if that’s okay."

 

Feeling herself flush, Violet looks down in hopes of hiding her red face from Clementine, "Yeah, uh. That's cool. I mean, um. Sure. If you wanna."

  


_‘Fucking smooth, Violet.’_

  


Clementine watches her with an amused grin, "It'll be fun, don't worry. I promise you'll be safe."

 

Violet looks back to the girl across from her, tilting her head in regard, "It's weird that I kinda believe you."

 

With a scoff, Clementine crosses her arms over her chest, "No it's not. I'm very trustworthy. You just don’t know about my mad skills yet."

 

Violet shakes her head as she smile grew uncontrollably, “You are such a dork.”

 

Looking down to the empty bowl in front of her she looks back to Clementine, "You done?"

 

Taking one last scoop, Clementine eats it before nodding, "Yup, you?"

 

"Yup. I guess it's time for that meeting?"

 

"Guess so. I'll go tell everyone what's up. Be back in a bit." Clementine said as she rose from the table, dish in hand.

 

“See ya.”

 

  


* * *

  
  
  


As soon as everyone was gathered Clementine sat next to Violet and Louis, facing the rest of the group.

 

“So what’s up? Is this about Marlon?” Aasim pipes up first, looking between the three of them.

 

Clementine looks to Violet, getting an encouraging nod. Taking a deep breath to steady herself she begins, “Yes and no. This isn’t about what Marlon did, this is about why he did it.”

 

“What do you mean?” Mitch asks, shaking his head in confusion.

 

"Remember those raiders Marlon was talking about the other night? When Louis and I talked to him yesterday he told us: that the raiders who took Sophie and Minnie are going to be coming here. For us. We questioned him for a while and he's positive the man we saw at the train station was one of the guys from last year.”

 

“What?”

“Oh my God.”

“Shit.”

 

“Why are we only hearing about this now, if you knew yesterday?” Mitch questions looking to her with suspicious eyes.

 

At this Louis jumps in with a placating gesture, “Dude, don’t. It’s been a crazy few days and we didn’t want to scare everyone with baseless speculation. We’ve… well Clem and Vi have been talking and I think they’ve got a few ideas. Right?” he said, turning first to look at her then again to see Violet on his other side.

 

She nods at the boys words, “Yeah. I’ve got a few ideas, but it’s going to take a lot of work." Looking to each face she can see the naked hesitation and unwillingness.  

 

"What is?" Willy insisted, grousing agreeing grumbles from the group.

 

"No one is going to be taken by raiders. Not if we plan, prepare, and get ourselves ready to defend this place." She said, a determined furrow in her brows. She sees Aasim nodding along, but he seems to be the only one appeased by her words, everyone else held a variable look of worry and suspicion.

 

From her peripheral she sees Violet nodding before addressing the gathered group, "And the only way we're going to do that is if we all put in the work. All of us, working together."

 

"Violet working with people? Willingly?" Mitch intoned.

 

"Fuck off."

 

"And what is it you want us to do exactly?" Aasim cuts in, refocusing the conversation.

 

"I think right now the safest thing to do is listen to Clem. She knows what she's talking about."

 

"Who put you guys in charge?" Mitch asks, looking at her then to Violet.

 

"Look, if you have any better ideas be my guest." Violet irritably asserts, making Mitch look away.

 

"That's what I thought. And since none of us here know enough to get through this, we should listen to the person who does. It's our best chance. She knows what she's doing."

  
  


_'Am I blushing? I feel like I'm blushing.'_

  
  


"I agree. Let's get through this and then we can worry about who's going to be in charge." Aasim states, gaining nods from a few of the kids.

 

"Okay."

"Fine."

“Yeah.”

 

"Okay," she breathes out, "that's all I wanted to say, really. We just wanted to get everyone up to speed with what's happening. We'll try going over fortification plans tonight and we can all get started tomorrow. Vi and I'll be going to check the border later, see if we can find anything that'll give us something on these guys."

 

"And I'll get a team together to start gathering materials. Probably just dressers and plywood but it's better than nothing." Louis cheerily jumped in.

 

"I've got guard duty." Ruby says, raising her hands in surrender.

 

"Mitch and I were gonna go look at the traps." Aasim adds.

 

"I was going to sort through our food, get things ready for lunch." Omar threw in.

 

"Fine, fine. _I'll_ go scout for some materials." Louis huffily reiterated.

 

"Cool. If no one else has anything…" she trailed off, giving a beat for arguments. When none came she continued, "I guess we're done here. We can have a more thorough discussion tomorrow, everyone come ready with ideas."

 

One by one, each kid stood to go on with their day, until it was just herself, AJ, Violet, and Louis.

 

"Welp, that went about as expected." Louis said, plopping down next to AJ.

 

"I thought it went pretty well. Considering the circumstances." Violet shrugged, arms still crossed.

 

"Me too. It went as well as it could, I think." she agreed before turning to address Violet.

 

"You want to go now?"

 

"Sure." Violet said as she stood, the rest of the table following suit. She begins circling around the table to stand before the two boys.

 

"Louis, can you-"

 

Before she could finish, Louis cuts her off, "Yeah, no problem. I've got AJ." She smiles in thanks as he looks down to AJ.

 

"You ready to help me, little man? I need some muscle." Louis asks, tapping his knuckles against AJ's bicep.

 

AJ looks to her with a hopeful expression, and at her nod of approval he excitedly turns back to the older boy. "Yeah."

 

Squatting in front of him she places a hand on his shoulder, "Okay, AJ. Listen to Louis while I'm gone. And don't give him a hard time."

 

"I won't. Promise." He said, falling forward so she can catch him in a hug.

 

"We'll be back before you know it." she said, ruffling his hair before standing to her full height.

 

Turning around she sees Violet waiting with a smile before it's suddenly dropped, along with her eyes as she looked to the floor. When Violet brings her head up she can see a faint blush on her pale cheeks, a fetching sight on her normally melancholic features.

  


_'Okay, that's pretty damn cute.'_

  


Grinning over her shoulder she nods her head in the direction of the gate, "Let's go."


	3. The Stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Have you no hope at all? And do you really live with the thought that when you die, you die, and nothing remains? 'Yes,' I said."  
> -Albert Camus: The Stranger

    Walking along a weathered path she and Clementine did their best to canvass the area, indiscriminately tossing wandering glances around every handful of seconds and keeping their ears alert. They both had in hand a weapon, Violet holding her cleaver and Clementine loosely gripping Marlon's bow. The beginnings of their weary day had been abundantly overcast, a thick blanket of clouds churning above that barely allowed wisps of blue to be seen. But as dark as the morning started, the straining sun has been quite persistent, casting weak beams down, dimly breaking through the smoky swirl of gray. And as they walk soft, golden hues drift through the dreary willows shifting above, coating their path in blotches of inconsistent daylight. The cold wind whipping the treetops and currently disheveling her hair has provided the preponderance of noise, howling by to shake the leaves and caress their skin, submerging the atmosphere in a palpable energy.

 

_'How much longer are we gonna be out here. My damn hands are frozen.'_

 

    Taking a deep breath, Violet flexes her icy fingers and cranes her neck to the sky, absentmindedly watching a bird take flight as she let her breath escape in a sigh. It seemed like it's been so long since she had such a quiet afternoon, no emotional thoughts or gloom to dwell on when you're continuously fearing for your life. It turns out, actively searching for danger is the distraction she's needed to get out of her head. Which is a pleasant surprise, especially since she had been anticipating a dangerous walk with her crush to be more repressive and awkward than anything. Instead, with each minute passed in companionable silence, she feels her heart lighten as she grows more familiar, more comfortable with Clementine's presence. Violet would say that the calm downtime time spent with one another has done much to dampen her nerves around the other girl, enough so that she doesn't feel half as timid as she's been since meeting her. And though the trip has improved her mood, she would say it hasn't been as beneficial to their task at hand.

    They've been out for what she could only guess was a few hours and they haven't come across any hint of a trail of an inkling to the whereabouts of these raiders, and she's starting to get a little tired. She’s not even sure what it is they’re on the lookout for, but trusts Clementine will let her know it if they find something. Their conversations have been limited and they've been relatively quiet, opting to communicate mostly through gestures and hushed whispers. They had a mutual understanding that to remain as inconspicuous in the still forest as they could, talking was a bit antithetical. Luckily, no walkers have been around so they've been able to mainly focus on their task without interruptions or near death scares. And although Violet's eyes did what was required and scanned for dangers, her infatuated teenage brain was overtaken by curiosity and ran freely.

 

_‘I wonder what she'd look like with her hair down. Good I bet. Great, probably.’_

 

    Discreetly sneaking a peek at her companion, she couldn't stop herself from secretly scanning her profile, feeling her heart skip and run at the simple sight. She admired the other girls long lashes, watching as they swept against her dirt speckled cheeks. Combing her eyes from Clementine's cheekbones to her nose, over her strong jaw to her chin, she couldn't control her idle imaginings, and was overcome with a desire to be closer to the captivating girl. Unintentionally, her eyes dropped lower, watching as the sun shone down to play upon her slender neck, seeing her curly flyaways stick to her slick skin. Her interested eyes absentmindedly drag further along the tanned expanse, down to her collarbone, watching her chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm. Then lower still, dipping to the daylight dancing on her decolletage, a light sheen of sweat making her dark skin glow delightfully.

    After a moment of preening thoughtlessly, she darts her eyes away, panicked as she catches herself openly staring. Feeling her cheeks blaze with embarrassment, she quickly returns her gaze forward, softly shaking her head as if she could dislodge the distracting thoughts. Not paying much attention in her haste, Violet dribbles over a dead branch, recovering with a muttered curse. Hearing a small snicker from her side, she turns to see Clementine unsuccessfully stifling a smile and blinking up in innocence. Only to swing her mirth filled eyes to Violet a second later, a slow, coy grin blooming on her face. Feeling her cheeks burn further, Violet mutters a quiet 'shutup', failing to stop her own sheepish smile as her insides filled with a spontaneous warmth.

    Violet finds herself enjoying the reminiscent sensation she hadn't felt since Minnie and is quietly disappointed when the warmth eventually fades and she's left with a nebulous web of confusion in her chest. The idea that she’s still allowed to feel these sensations while Minnie was gone shadowed her heart in a bitter tinge. So, doing her best to swallow past the lump in her throat, she breathes, forcing herself to let go of the pain that came with remembering.

    With a final, steadying exhale Violet feels her building tension peter out and recede as she lets her head lazily loll to the side. Refocusing, she walks along for a few more minutes until Clementine's feet stopped in their tracks, her sudden stillness making Violet freeze as well. Without warning, Clementine grabs her hand to drag them behind a nearby boulder, waiting a beat before talking in a hushed whisper.

 

"Vi. Look." Clementine said, pointing her head at an abandoned campfire, smoldering embers still glowing a dim red.

“Oh, shit.”

  

  Violet peeks over the large stone before sending an uneasy look back to the girl next to her. She watches her, and can almost see the gears turning in Clementine's head while her brows furrowed in concentration. Clementine was intensely still, eyes darting in all directions, and watching her, Violet uncomfortably shifts her weight as her trepidation increased. A knotted feeling settles in her gut, and she turns in an attempt to examine their surroundings, seeing only shadows through the thicket.

    Feeling a rap on her knee a moment later, she turns to see Clementine looking at her with a set jaw, the determined look overshadowing, but not entirely hiding the nervousness Violet could see in her overtly expressive eyes. Wordlessly Clementine gestures to the pit and they carefully made their way to the perimeter of the camp. As they crept along she kept her eyes moving constantly, looking for any slight motion in the surrounding brush as her heart beat a sharp staccato against her chest. Upon reaching the edge of the small clearing, they again stop to examine their surroundings.

“Okay, I don’t see anyone, let’s check this out. Quick and quiet.” Clementine whispered over to her.

 

Wordlessly, she follows as Clementine makes to stand. Walking into the abandoned camp she looks around, seeing a small clearing with little more than a dead fire pit and the trunk of a fallen tree.

“Violet, come look at this.” Clementine says, bending over to pick up a ratty satchel purposefully tucked under a twisted branch of the log. Coming over to inspect the findings, Violet stops beside her with crossed arms, leaning over her shoulder to see into the valise. Clementine opens the flap to reveal a few pieces of fruit along with a plastic ziplock, and just as she ponders its contents, Clementine picks it up. When she turns it over they can see it contains a single photo: two boys grinning like mad.

“Huh. Wonder who this belongs to.” Clementine wonders aloud, shifting the baggy to better examine the photo.

“Think it could be a raiders?” Violet asked, glancing up at the girl still staring at the picture.

“Hmm. Maybe, but I think-”

   

Clementine is cut off by the reverberating ring of a rifle shot piercing the afternoon stillness. At the sudden sound they instinctively hunch and cover their heads with protective arms. Turning to each other in worry an unspoken communication is understood between the two, and simultaneously they bolt back to the boulder. With her heart stuck in her throat, Violet peeks around the side of their cover to nervously scan the area.

 

_'That sounded close.'_

 

Over the blood rushing in her ears she could faintly hear shouts coming from further within the forest. Looking back to Clementine she can tell that the other girl can hear it too, and is not surprised a few seconds later when the brunette stands.

“We should check it out.”

“Do you want to die?” She said with a raised eyebrow, already knowing she’s not going to be able to talk the stubborn girl out of this.

“This is why we're out here, scouting the perimeter for danger. We just need to be quiet and we should be okay." Clementine responds evenly. She is still not convinced it's a good idea, and her hesitancy must show on her face because Clementine's posture relaxes slightly and turns to reassure her with a soft look.

"We’re just gonna check it out, no way we’re gonna pick a fight with anyone. Besides, it might not even be raiders.” she said, looking in the direction of the raised voices and back to her imploringly.

“Fuck.” Violet groaned, “Fine, let’s go. First sign of trouble, we run.” she said as Clementine nodded along.

"Back to the school. If we're separated just get back to the school. Do you remember what direction it is?" Clementine asked, looking around.

"Yeah. Uh, that way. About a 30 minute walk, ten minute run. Can't miss it." she said, pointing to the location she knew by heart.

Taking a solid breath, Clementine breathes out deeply, "Okay. Let's do this. Stay low." And with Violet's nod they begin their cautious walk.

At the sound of another shot she jumps in surprise and grips her cleaver a bit tighter, sharing a short glance with Clementine. She can tell they have gotten closer to the source of sound, much closer. After a few minutes of crouching through the copse they could clearly hear what the voices were saying.

“We’re looking for a kid, runs a community near here.” a woman’s voice says.

“Marlon.” the gruff voice of a man finishes.

 

_'Shit.'_

 

    Crouching to peek beyond a bush they take in the peculiar sight of a one-armed man standing alongside a woman, whom was currently pinning a person to the floor with a boot on their neck. Both adults had a gun, the man with a sawed off shotgun and the woman holding a rifle, the barrel of which was being pushed between the shoulder blades of their prone hostage.

“I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.” the boy beneath her boot seethed, voice strained. She couldn't see his face, but could guess it was pinched in pain.

“I know you're smart, so don’t play dumb.” the woman continues, “How about it? You want to take us back to your school, help us talk to your friends?” Her words sent a shiver down Violet's spine as she listens, feeling nauseated. Violet tried to get a look at her face, but her choppy hair covered too much of her features to gain a clear view.

“Lady. That’s not my school. I don’t live there. Listen, I just-" the boy tried, only to get pushed further into the dirt.

“I find that very hard to believe. Not a lot of kid communes around here.” the woman said, emphasizing her incredulity with a jab of her barrel.

Kneeling in front of her, Clementine raises her bow, taking aim at the woman in green. “What do you think? Run?" Clementine whispered, not looking to her, intently focused on the woman. With her adrenaline coursing she looks back to the scene playing in front of her, unsure of what they should do.

“C’mon, kid, this mask you had on tells me you're pretty smart, so don't be stupid. You don't want to test me." she threatened, softly shaking her hand not holding her gun. Squinting in an effort to see what she held, she could scarcely see what the woman was referring to, unable to make out more than a vague shape.

“Fuck." Violet swears under her breath, watching the woman jab the barrel of her rifle further into the boys neck.

"Just take the shot.” she rushed, tense and unsure.

At her words Clementine nods, pulling further on the taut string, "Get ready to run."

“Fuck you. Get off of me!” the boy shouted, struggling under the woman’s boot.

Before anything else could happen, Clementine lets loose her arrow, hitting the woman in her back. Caught off guard, the woman yelps as she stumbles to her knees, forced to fall from the boys back in an attempt to catch herself. Clementine quickly nocks another arrow firing at the man and hitting him in his only arm, making him drop his weapon.

“RUN!” Clementine shouted as the boy got to his knees. A second later the boy is stumbling away just as the woman regains her footing. She hisses, twisting her body and makes to grab at the arrow. Taking this as their cue, she and Clementine share a look before bolting into the forest.

“AHhh.” the woman gasped, throwing the shaft to the floor. Turning to shoot in the direction the boy ran, before throwing her head around wildly.

“Where the hell are you? Come out and face me, you coward!” she goaded, aiming her gun in the general direction of the arrow shot.

    As they careened into the forest more shots rang out behind them. Hopping over logs and nimbly sidestepping roots and rocks, Violet looks behind to see their pursuers following, a good distance away, but gaining on them. The short haired woman wore a scowl as she stomped after them, followed by her one-armed partner who was struggling to keep pace. Hurdling over another log she swerves left to avoid the man's desperate shot, covering her face as it sprayed out, ineffectively pattering against her clothes. Quickly looking back at her pursuer she throws her head around, trying to catch sight of Clementine and the other woman, and feels her heart drop when she can't spot either. Growing even more concerned for their current circumstances, she can only hope Clementine is okay as she bounds over a raised root to avoid another shot. At the sound of nearby growls she looks over both shoulders and sees walkers coming down, dozens lining the shadows and menacingly inching forward.

 

_'Aw shit.'_

 

    Running just that much faster, Violet pushes past the burning in her lungs to escape the man. After a solid minute of sprinting she stops to catch her breath. Bracing herself with her knees she looks around again, hoping to see Clementine, but only seeing the dead swarming all around. Cursing under her breath she continues at a brisk jog, before catching sight of a peculiar walker, faster than the rest and chasing after her with alarming focus. She lifted her weapon in defense, but before she could bring her cleaver down, the walker raised its own arms, and to her dismay, spoke.

"No." it whispered, causing Violet to tense in shock, gripping her knife like her life depended on it.

"What… The… Fuck…" she quietly choked out, trying to control her trembling.

Placing a finger to its lips it threw a rock, shifting the pursuing walkers attention and giving them a momentary reprieve. Turning to again address her, it softly rasped, "I saw your friend. She went that way. No one was following." it said, pointing to the general direction of the school.

"Who are you?" she asked, struggling to suppress the quiver in her voice. From how it talked, she knew it was a guy, but other than that she was very confused. Warily eyeing the stranger she takes in his outfit, and realizes that this was the guy Clementine just saved.

"Not here. We need to get out of the open." he said, favoring one side as he tried to walk past her, stumbling and struggling to maintain balance.

"You're hurt." she said in alarm, seeing red as he pulled his hand away from his side.

"Come with me to the school. My, uh, my friends can help you. We're… not assholes. Really." she stiltedly offered, ignoring her instincts that screamed not to trust strangers you meet in the woods.

"No, I don't think that's a good idea." he said, looking at his feet, giving Violet a glimpse of messy stitch work under sickly strands of hair.

 

_‘Why the mask?’_

 

"Me either. But you're hurt and you probably just saved my life. What kind of person would I be if I just let you die out here when I can help." she said sincerely, trying to ensure him she only wanted to help, however hard that was to believe nowadays. The only response she got was a long, searching look that makes her turn away, slightly uncomfortable with the extended silence.

"That doesn't look good, were you shot?" she asks, breaking the silence. Turning before he could respond, she begins walking in hopes he would follow. To her relief, he hesitantly trailed behind, footsteps falling heavy before he softly spoke.

"Yes. It was that woman… " he trailed off, pressing his hand tighter to his torso.

"That crazy bitch, yeah. What'd she want?" she asked.

"She thought I lived at the school, with your people." Sharing a quick look with the boy, she returns her eyes forward as he continued.

"I tried telling her I didn't, but she didn't really seem like the type who's open to criticism." he said, grimacing as he shifted his torso.

Letting out a hiss of pain he continued, "I've been watching these guys for a while now. They're ruthless, destructive. They're fighting a war with another community, and they need people for that war. My best guess is they’re looking for fresh soldiers. Recruiting."

    While they walked she listens to the strangers words, her tenebrous thoughts whirling haphazardly as he continued to pass on what knowledge he could. She can't do much more than silently nod along, failing to suppress the chill that ran through her as an uncomfortable dread nestled itself securely in the forefront of her mind. From what they overheard, these have to be the guys from last year, the group that took the twins. Her resentment rises at the mere reminder of Marlon, but is tamped out by the overall sorrow that claims her.

    As the conversation dips into a lull, she uses the quiet moment to think about the implications of the boys words. She feels a pang ring through her heart as she unintentionally imagines the twins being conscripted to fight a war. Softly, she shakes her head with a frown, dispelling the unproductive thoughts and forcing her mind past the darkness. When she does, her thoughts snap back to the determined look the woman wore and feels a hum of fear freeze her veins, briskly bathing her in a cold realization. There is a group of adults actively hunting for them, and know exactly where to look. As her heart beat a frenzied pattern, she did her best to ignore the rising panic and fear, distracting herself with her present company. Looking back to the ambling figure trailing behind, a jolt of worry passes through her as he stumbles, correcting himself with a grunt.

 

_'Well, shit.'_

 

* * *

 

 

Clementine's quick pace picks up some momentum as the school walls come within sight. As she nears, the gates open and she throws herself over the threshold, bending to catch her breath as soon as she's through. Willy regards her with surprised eyes, closing the gate before addressing her.

"Whoa, Clem. What happened out there? You alright? Where's Vi?"

Only just coming down from her adrenaline rush Clementine looks to the young boy, talking between gulps of air, "We ran into a couple assholes outside the safe zone. Got split up a little while back. You didn't see her yet?"

Willy's shakes his head, and she feels her heart drop. Turning back to the gate she grasps the bars, staring into the woods. She stands, stomach undulating with fear as her eyes skip over the foliage hiding her friend. Too nervous she can no longer stand still, fixing her hat out of habit.

 

_'Where the hell is she?'_

 

Tucking a loose curl behind her ear, she lets out a frustrated exhale, "Shit. Okay. She can't be too far out, can you go find Louis? I'm gonna go back out there, tell him to get the guys and we can-"

She cuts herself off when, from the corner of her eye, she catches the faint sight of an outline. Letting her words fall away she rushes to open the gate, walking to meet Violet half way. As she nears, another figure become apparent in the murky shadows, walking dangerously close to Violet. Instinctively she raised her bow, but halted letting loose her arrow when Violet threw her hands up.

"Whoa! Hey, hey we're cool. He's cool." Violet shouted in a panic, waving an arm to the person slightly behind her.

Releasing her draw, she jogged up to Violet to talk at a quieter volume. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but James needs help." she said, gesturing to the… guy bent beside her.

"Uh, okay. Let's get him to Ruby. What the hell happened?" She said helping Violet shoulder the boy's weight.

Snorting, Violet shakes her head, "Well…"

 

    As they walked, Violet filled her in on what happened and the information she gained from James. She listens intently, stomach rolling and body heat rising. She was not expecting to find out this much on their scouting run, but will take it readily. Though happy with their findings, she is still slightly shaken by the turn their afternoon took, upset with how things escalated and the risk she put Violet in. Looking to the girl beside her she tries to push through her worry and enjoy the relief at Violet’s safe return, silently promising herself that she'll do a better job protecting her next time.

When they deposit the half-conscious boy on the sofa in the hallway Violet runs to find Ruby, leaving Clementine to watch over the masked teen. Wanting to know more about this stranger they've brought in, she tries to strike up a conversation.

"Your mask's pretty cool. And smart." she says, causing the boy to crack his eyes and look to her.

"Beats Walker guts." she says with a small smirk tugging at her lips.

"... Thanks. I," he pauses, reaching to take it off. "I forgot I had it on. I- I'm James." As he looks up she takes in the face of the boy from the photo.

"Clementine. If you don't mind me asking, what were you doing camping out in the woods by yourself?" She casually asks, not necessarily interrogating him, but not wanting to let him in unvetted.

"I live on my own. No real place to stay nowadays. I've been sticking close to an abandoned barn close by." He warily looks up to her, "I don't want any trouble."

"Neither do we, don't worry." she assured, "I'm just worried about that raider that had her boot on your neck. Do you know what they wanted with you?"

"They thought I lived here." he said, gesturing generally with one hand before gingerly setting on his stomach.

She waited for him to continue, "I heard them arguing and went to check it out. I guess I was too loud or moved too fast. I don't know. She shot me before I even saw her take aim. Then… well. You saw the rest."

Wearily closing his eyes, he laid his head back, sinking into the cushion, "If you hadn't shot her I'd probably have a bullet in the back of my head. And if I hadn't ran into Violet, I'd most likely be bleeding out somewhere."

His soft brown eyes flick open, half-lidded and fighting to stay focused. "I-thank you. You people are kind."

"Don't worry about any of that right now, just rest. We're going to help you, we've got someone coming to check you out. You'll be okay."

With her words he seems to lose his battle, letting his head sink back completely, eyes falling shut and chest rising in shallow puffs. She stands guard for only a minute, waiting until she hears feet thudding up the stairs. Ruby immediately comes up to crouch near the couch, Violet trailing behind with her lower lip caught between her teeth.

"He passed out a minute ago. I'm guessing blood loss. He seems pale." Clementine announced as soon as Ruby was in sight.

Ruby pulls at his clothes to reveal his marred torso, blood flowing from a small hole and coating his skin with warm blood. "Help me with this." she says to no one, trying to push the boys arm so he would turn. Clementine jumps in to help, pushing his side to give their nurse a view of his posterior.

"Looks like a through n' through. No fishin' needed, thank god." She said, slowly letting his body return to his flat position.

"But we need to stop the bleeding. Fast. Vi, can you go get the first aid kit in the office. I think it had some good stuff in there."

"Yeah." she responds, walking away to find the supplies.

"Clem, think ya can help me real quick?" Ruby said, tugging one of his arms out of his shirt.

Getting him out of his bloody garbs, Ruby inspects the extent of his wounds and tsks in annoyance. Working together they manage to slow the bleeding until Violet returns with one arm full of gauze and the other holding a medicine kit. The girls working in tandem manage to bring color back into the boys pale face within the hour, cleaning and carefully treating the wounds for any bacterial infection. Tightening the bonds enough to be breathable they let him rest, leaving him to sleep on the couch.

"So…" Ruby began while she put her supplies away, her calm tone instantly making Clementine feel like she's in trouble. She and Violet exchange a worried look before looking back to the redhead.

"What the hell guys?" She hissed in a stage whisper, looking cross as she throws her arms up in defeat.

"Okay, okay. I know this looks bad, but hey. We came back in one piece." Violet tried to smile with a half shrug, only for Ruby to send her an unamused look she usually reserved for Louis.

Sighing in defeat, Violet drops her head, looking to Ruby past her bangs, "I couldn't just leave him out there. I mean, look at him." Violet defended, flicking her wrist to gesture with an open palm to the unconscious boy. She and Ruby turn to quietly look at the young man on the couch, Ruby stepping back to fuss over the bandages.

"Well, do you know who he is? Who shot him? Did anyone follow you? Are we safe? What the hell happened out there?" Ruby questioned rapidly, nervousness clear as she address them.

"A lot. Maybe this would be easier if we told everyone all at once, huh? Vi and I can go round everyone up." she said calmly, doing her best to lessen the country girl's nerves with spurious equanimity.

Ruby didn't look happy, but nevertheless she acquiesced with a sigh, "Okay. That-that's fine. He should be out for a few hours anyhow. Oh, I just hope he's not too uncomfortable. Maybe I should get another pillow." she fretted, reaching out to touch the back of her hand to his forehead.

Violet comes to stand beside her, leaning in to talk, "C'mon, Clem, let's go. Meet us in the courtyard, Rube, we're gonna go get the others." Violet said, getting a nod from the redhead before she leaves to, presumably, find another pillow.

    Pointedly, Violet looks to the stairs and back to her before starting off, Clementine following suit. The two amble through the school grounds, looking for their friends and along the way finally having a conversation that wasn’t whispered. They try to discuss plans for the group and defenses, and come up with a few ideas, with most of their conversation revolving around speculations. Eventually, when their friends are found they agree to table their discussion, making plans to continue their conversation later that night. And as they walk into another group meeting, Clementine look to the girl next to her and smiles despite herself, feeling her stomach do a funny flip as she finds herself looking forward to nightfall.

 

* * *

 

 

"That went better than I expected." she said as she and Clementine climbed the stairs to the main building.

"Yeah. I thought Mitch would be way more pissed." Clementine supplied with an easy smile.

"Me too." Violet said, sending a smile of her own.

Pushing the doors open, Clementine lets her pass before following, “I think I’m going to go find AJ. I haven’t seen him all day.”

"We were just with him this morning." she pointed out lightly, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth.

"It's been a long day."

Breathing out a laugh she feels her smile grow, “Cool. I think a saw him go off with Tenn. Probably playing in his room. I was gonna go check on James. See if he’s still okay.” she said, taking the first couple steps of the stairway.

Clementine nods her head as she responds, “You wanna meet up in a few hours. So we can plan?”

“Yeah, meet me up in the principal's office. I'm anticipating a lot of talking. See ya.” she says before starting up the stairs.

“See ya.”

 

    Approaching James’ still form she made a conscious effort to lighten her footsteps, walking as quietly as she could with her hard soles. The boys bandaged torso was on display, with a spot of red bleeding through already. He looked much better than he had during their walk over, but he was still covered with a slick coat of sweat. She came over to sit on a chair Ruby set out, bending forward with her elbows against her knees. His breathing is shallow, his chest barely moving with each draw and Violet can't help but feel concerned. She doesn’t know him, but she can't help but think that it doesn’t matter much. She doesn’t want to see another person die, so if she can help it, she will. They have done all they can for him, now all that's left is to wait for him to recover.

    She gets comfortable, pulling one leg up as she sits vigil, losing track of the passing minutes. She zones out as she let herself relax, shutting her eyes and letting her head fall against the top rail of her seat. As she calmly goes over the days events, her introspections are interrupted by the sound of unexpected footsteps. Opening her eyes she is met with the sight of Louis, a forlorn expression adorning his slender features. He seems slightly taken aback at the scene in front of him, but still, slowly makes his way over to the couch. His meek disposition lets her know he is worried about something before he even opened his mouth. She always found it amusing how easy it was to tell what Louis was thinking, and finds herself sitting up in acknowledgement as he stops next to her.

“Hey.” he says, quietly.

“Sup.”

A beat of silence follows before Louis clears his throat, “I just wanted to come and see how you were doing. Heard you were up here.” he says, eyes flicking to James before looking back to her. He leaves another pause, before starting again.

“And I also wanted to apologize, for what I said the other night.” he says, scratching the back of his neck and looking to his feet.

“Louis, you don’t have to, really it's fine.” she shakes her head, standing to face him without craning her neck.

“No, no. I-I really do. And even if I didn’t need to, I want to.” he looks at her with sadness shining in his eyes.

“What I said. It was way out of line. I was trying to get a rise out of you, and I am so fucking sorry. I don’t know how to say how much I wanted to take it back.”

“Yeah, well I wasn’t any better. So.” she said dryly, crossing her arms.

“That doesn’t mean what I said was okay.” he pauses, shuffling his feet awkwardly. “I’m sorry, Vi, really.” he says earnestly.

“Look, Lou. We both said shitty things, and we’re both sorry. Let’s just leave it as that, okay?” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Louis knew she wasn’t the best at talking, so she was relying considerably on her body language to try to get her point across.

And Louis, receptive as he is, gives her a long look before his mouth picks up with a slow smile. “I’m going to hug you now.”

“No.” she said, shaking her head and taking a step back.

“C’mon.” Louis insists, beckoning her closer.

“Louis, I swear to god.” she gets out before being squeezed securely, her face obscured by thick hair.

“I’m not letting go till you hug me back, Vi.” he said, tightening his hold and beginning to rock from side to side.

Rolling her eyes, she lets out a sigh and throws her arms around his torso, not even trying to stop the smile that makes its way onto her face. “Now can you get your armpits off my shoulders. It smells like you haven’t had a shower in months.” she says leaning back.

Louis smiles with a hand on his hip, “It’s only been a couple weeks, don’t be dramatic.”

They share a smile before Louis is talking again, tone much lighter than before, "So, how's our newest guest?" he said, stealing her seat.

Ignoring her frown, he continues, "From what you guys said at the meeting, your morning was pretty rough."

"He seems okay. Ruby said he should be out for a bit." Violet answers, shifting her weight to her back foot.

"You guys said his name was James?"

"Yeah." she nods in affirmation.

"Looks like you guys got to him just in time. Kinda." he said, looking to the unconscious figure with curiosity.

Snorting in sarcasm, Violet moves to lean against the arm of the couch, crossing her arms as she looks up to Louis. "You don't know the half of it."

She shares her morning in more detail, remembering the intense altercation and close calls. They stay talking for a few minutes, Louis asking all his questions, and answering some himself. And as a lull in the conversation is felt, Louis makes to stand, grunting as he pushes off his knees.

"Well, I'm gonna go find Aasim. We're goin' hunting. Gonna rassle us up some grub." he said in a poor imitation of a southern accent.

"Please don't."

A small huff of laughter escapes him, "Noted. I'll see ya at dinner, Vi." And with a departing salute, he walks down the steps.

"See ya."

    Plunking into her chair she again takes vigil, regarding him sympathetically as he squirms and shivers in discomfort. Getting up to walk over to the side table, Violet starts rummaging through the medical supplies. Making a small noise in satisfactions, she finds what she was looking for, pulling out a small rag. Returning to her chair she dabs at his brow, making him stir, but not intrusive enough to wake him fully.

 

_'Man, this guy is not having a good day.'_

 

* * *

 

 

"Frog!"  
"Rabbit!"  
"Cat?"

Clementine smiles listening to the excitement in the voices of the kids around her. In front of them on all fours AJ hopped again, laughing in satisfaction.

"Nope." AJ said, hopping with emphasis.

"Kangaroo!"

"Willy, kangaroos only hop on two legs." Tenn points out, resulting in a small bicker fight between them.

AJ continues to giggle as he jumps again, and Clementine loves it.

 

_'This is great.'_

 

"Guys, it's a grasshopper." AJ tells them, mimicking a frog.

"Aw, what? That's not an animal." Willy said.

"Yes it is."

"Bugs aren't animals."

"If they're not animals, what are they?" AJ asks, rising from his crouch.

"Insects."

"What's the difference?"

"Bugs are, uh - well, they're...They don't have, like, bones and stuff."

"Actually," Clementine interrupts, "insects are animals. Sorry, Willy." smiling ruefully as Willy's mouth falls open in disbelief.

"Ha, I get a point." AJ said, pumping a fist in victory.

"My turn." Willy eagerly announced, rushing up as AJ sits beside her.

    Clementine grins, throwing an arm around AJ and follows along with the ensuing rounds. Her heart leaps with glee as they continue their game, unable to contain her joy at the sight of AJ happy and safe, enjoying his life. She loses herself to their leisure time as well as she can, knowing this will probably be the last evening they're free to do as they please. After tonight, they're all going to be occupied with planning and fortifying and she is not looking forward to the stress. As Tenn mimes… possibly a chef, a knock sounds at the door before flying open, revealing an excited Louis smiling on the other side.

"Time for dinner, boys! And Clem."

Clementine smiles at the whoop from AJ, standing to move out of the way as the young boys eagerly run to the door. Trailing after the trio she and Louis take their time, slowly walking through the moonlit hallway.

"So, how you settling in?" Louis asked from her side, giving her a sidelong glance before returning his gaze forward.

Looking ahead to the group of boys talking animatedly, she looks back to the taller boy next to her.

"Considering everything… Good. We have food, water, walls and AJ has smiled more in the past few days than he has in years."

"Good. I'm happy to hear that." Louis supplied with a charming grin.

"But I actually wanted to ask how you've been? After everything with Marlon, I mean." Clementine said, watching Louis' smile fall.

"Oof, loaded question." he said jokingly, but not light enough to disguise the pain she could detect lurking just behind his shining eyes.

She waits for him to gather his thoughts, watching the moonlight display the pangs of pain that passed over his face, "I think…I know I'm angry, but I--I- I know I should hate him for what he did, but I… I miss him." he admits finally, so low Clementine almost misses it.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could have met him before."

"I wish you could have too. But hey, at least you never had to see us jogging in tights."

Chuckling, she passes the door frame, looking over her shoulder as she went down the stairs.

"Thank god." she deadpanned.

 

After dinner she finds herself walking alongside Violet, conversation wandering aimlessly as their soft banter echoed down the empty hall. Arriving at their destination Violet opens the office door, letting them in.

Closing the door behind her Clementine sighs, readying herself for a long night, "Alright, let's get started." she said, pulling the school map out of her jacket pocket.

Planning well into the night they work until she can feel her eyelids starting to droop. Hearing a small chuckle in front of her she opens her eyes, not even realizing she had closed them.

"Maybe we're done for the night. I don't know about you, but I'm beat." Violet playfully suggests, rolling up the map to hand it to her.

Mindlessly grabbing for the map, Clementine's fingers softly brush the slender hand offering the paper. Their fingers touch for a lingering second, Violet pulling away first with a subtle clearing of her throat. Sitting there half asleep, Clementine finds it odd that Violet's body heat seemed to linger with such a simple touch. Smiling in thanks she places the map back into her pocket, looking back at the girl she spent most of her day with. Clementine takes a moment to admire the sleepy girl in front of her, absentmindedly watching as she rubbed her eyes and let out a small yawn.

 

_'Pretty.'_

 

"And I'm pretty sure you have watch tomorrow morning. If I were you, I'd try getting five hours at least." she said, standing to open the door.

Eyes widening in realization, she pushes herself off the table and sluggishly follows Violet out.

"Shit. I completely forgot."


	4. Freedom to Choose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just, dialogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The only way I can measure the strength of this affection is precisely by performing an action that confirms and defines it. However, since I am depending on this affection to justify my action, I find myself caught in a vicious circle."
> 
> \- Jean-Paul Sartre: Existentialism is a Humanism

**One Week Later**

 

"Here." Violet said, handing the tired pouch to James.

He took it with a look of awe, softly tracing his hands over the worn leather before peeling it open. A second later he brought out the same tattered photograph she had seen days prior, holding it with a careful, almost reverent hand. "How did you find this?" he asked as he stared down at the photo.

"Clem and I saw it out in the woods last week. You know, before… everything." she breathed, scratching her neck. "We went out yesterday to look for it. Thought you might want it back. I mean, i-it is yours, right?" she asked.

He gave a small laugh, putting the photo in his lap, "Yeah, it's mine. Thank you. I can't tell you how much this means to me." James said, looking up to hold her gaze intently.

"Don't mention it." she said, watching the boy as he distractedly returned to staring at the photograph.

She didn't try keep track of how long they stayed in the companionable silence, each too lost in their own thoughts to notice. Violet was content as she sat and quietly considered James’ profile, seeing his face twitch with emotion as he regarded the printed image intently. He cradled the photograph close to his chest while continuing to delicately brush the pad of his thumb over its crazed surface, a weak smile hanging from his lips. The stillness of the moment was broken by the boy's meek voice as it echoed loudly through the idle static. "This is… was… my boyfriend. Charlie." he said, smiling wanly as he showed her the photo.

She gave a small noise of understanding, nodding her head empathetically.

"We joined a group together at the beginning. The Whispers. But, the group, it… changed him. In a way that couldn't be undone. It changed both of us."

Attentively, she let the boy speak his mind, doing her best to allow an amount of lenity across her stolid features. She didn't know what to say, but could understand the support one would want to receive, and hoped she conveyed more than stoic indifference.

"But, your friends are… different. Open-minded. Accepting. Like you." he said, downcast gaze flicking up as he continued. "Thank you. I know how lucky I was that you and Clementine were the ones to stumble on me. That's not usually how it goes out there." he said, nodding his head to the nearby window.

"Sorry, I feel like I'm rambling. It's just… being welcomed. It's strange." he finished, absently rubbing the sandwich baggie under his thumb.

"You know, they could be your friends, too? I know you didn't want to come to the school before, but now that you've met them… " she said trailing off with a shrug.

"I haven't lived with people in a long time. But, it does sound… nice. Let me think about it." he said.

"Of course, take all the time you need. Maybe sleep on it. You need the rest anyway." she told him, moving the pillow he leaned on to help him get comfortable. He didn't even put up a fight when she gently eased him down and tugged the light fleece to his chest.

 

 

_'Must be more tired than he thought.'_

 

 

In a matter of seconds the boys breathing evened out as he sank heavily into the mattress, asleep. Violet, again alone, moved to cross the room, dragging the desk chair closer and roughly dropping herself onto its hard seat. Pulling a knee under her chin, she absentmindedly pulled at a loose thread hanging off the cuff of her jeans, before her restless digits wandered away to find a more occupying object to twiddle with. Awaiting the arrival of Ruby, she began to review the details of the plan, dissecting the various minutiae of their plot as she absentmindedly began picking at the beds of her nails. With nothing to do but fidget she couldn't help but notice how time seemed to crawl by slowly, dragging her along with its unremitting nature. And all she could do was sit and wait.

 

 

_'Like a dog.'_

 

\--

 

"How's he doing?"

Upon hearing her voice, Violet craned her neck to see Clementine shuffle into the dorm, making herself comfortable in the seat she had recently abandoned in favor of mopping James' brow.

Violet turned back to finish dabbing the moist cloth at his temple before answering, "Better. He woke up for a while, and his fever was still pretty high. But the wound isn't as irritated, so there’s that. His bandages could use a change, though." she said, moving across the room to lean on the desk nearer Clementine.

"Perfect." Clementine smiled, shifting in her chair to look at her. With an elbow propped on the backrest she continued, "Ruby just sent me to come get you. She's bringing some crap up now, but thought you could use a break."

Nodding absently, Violet regarded Clementine as the girl got up to stand before her, hands shoved in her front pockets. In a somewhat reserved fashion, Clementine motioned her head towards the door. "So, you wanna go grab something to eat? I think Omar said something about snacks about to go bad. Doesn't want them going to waste." Clementine said in her usual husk, making Violet's stomach flutter.

"Uh. Sure." Violet agreed with a small amount of surprise leaking into her voice. Pushing off the edge of the desk, she followed Clementine out of the dorm they relocated James to, leaving the unconscious boy to rest until Ruby came in.

 

 

"How was it this morning, by the way? With Marlon?" she asked, remembering that the other girl had planned to talk with him.

With a brusque head shake Clementine let out a small scoff, "As useless as I thought it'd be. He doesn't know anything else that'll help us."

Frowning for a second, Violet looked to her with a shrug, "Yeah, figures. But hey, at least we're almost done reinforcing our walls. Finally. One less thing to worry about. I'm thinking … maybe a couple more days, and we should be ready for those assholes."

Clementine smiled, "Told you we'd get it done. Even if we did all almost kill each other.” Both girls giggle before Clementine continued, “Do you think that means we can, maybe, take a little break tonight?"

"Why're you asking me? Aren't we, like, co-captain's, or whatever?"

With a soft huff of laughter Clementine opened the front door for her to step through, "Uh, I guess. But you're, like--their friend. I'm still just settling in. They trust you."

"They trust you too, you know that. Even if Mitch bitches about everything, he doesn't mean it, really. He's just hormonal." she said, turning to her with a smirk.

Clementine chortled as they reach a table holding an assortment of packaged goods, "God help us."

Chuckling at the comment, Violet crossed her arms and looked down at the table. A miscellany of snacks were left out with a half-assed 'eat me' note quickly scrawled onto a ripped notebook page. Rolling her eyes at the sign, Violet set herself down watching as Clementine mirrored her on the opposite side of the table. Picking up a random bag, she opened it and held it out to Clementine who beamed at her before reaching over the table. The blinding smile made her stomach do somersaults as she bashfully looked to the table, grabbing a couple pieces of her own.

 

"Thanks."

 

For a time they sat together talking, eating, and enjoying one another's company. The pleasant conversation along with the calm afternoon created an almost euphonic melody, blanketing the pair in a comfortable atmosphere. Their light laughter mingled with the crepitations of the packaging and soothed her throughout their tranquil evening together. Violet was a little apprehensive about how quickly they’ve become so close, but can’t deny the ease that came naturally when interacting with the other girl.

 

 

_‘How is she so easy to talk to?'_

 

 

Shaking her head with a fond smile she opens another packet, sneaking a short glance at the girl sat before her. Violet can fleetingly recall the last time the pangs in her stomach were caused by laughter rather than hunger; a time when she let herself relax, where she could drop the constant guard they all held and just live seemed impossible. Yet here she was, laughing with a beautiful girl, somehow granted a semblance of happiness in a world on fire.

With an impish grin she ripped off a pinch of pastry and lightly tossed it, the piece bouncing off the brim of Clementine's hat to fall next to her resting forearm. Clementine scoffed indignantly, picking up the morsel and popping it in her mouth with a smirk before going back to her own snack, oblivious to Violet’s momentary state of arrest.

 

 

_'Damn…'_

 

 

Blinking absently before remembering herself, Violet quickly looked away, turning her attention back to her food. She tore off her own piece to nibble on and breathed out a laugh at hearing the other girl mumble something under her breath. Together they sat, languidly enjoying their evening snacks and stealing short glances at one another. As Violet reached down for another piece of pastry, she sees a tanned hand rip out a small bit of the yellow sponge, and looked up to see a mischievous glint shining in Clementine's golden orbs. And rather than shrink away, Violet held her waggish gaze, feeling a chill dance across her skin before spreading a vibration of warmth through her body.

Smiling at the girl in front of her, Violet basked in the coruscating flame blooming throughout her person. As warm as the sun that shone on her back, her chest pooled with a resembling heat that pulsed with each heartbeat. She felt grateful for the girl in front of her for inspiring such a sensation, and relished the effulgent feeling, committing the moment to memory.

 

 

_'I am so screwed.'_

 

 

* * *

 

 

Running a hand through her hair, Clementine replaced her hat with a small huff. “Again.” she said.

AJ looks at her with a beleaguered frown, but does as he's told, lifting the small bow to aim at the swaying target before them. Squinting in determination and with trembling arms, he held his aim for a few breaths. AJ let his arrow loose, and she sees it go sailing past the target, missing by a wide margin. He shook his head with a huff, and looked to his feet in frustration. Seeing the boy's ire rising, she approached him to place a soothing palm between his shoulder blades, making him stand straighter.

"Not too bad, you're getting there. Here. When you're holding the draw, you don't have to use your muscles, see? Your bones will do that job for you, if your form is right. Try again." she instructed, demonstrating with her own bow.

Sighing, AJ nocked another arrow before taking up his previous position. He fires again, and again, she watches it fly past the target and inelegantly pitch into a nearby bush. With another noise of exasperation AJ threw the longbow to the floor, crossing his arms and kicking a rock petulantly.

 

“This is so stupid. Why can’t I just use my gun?”

“Well," she began with a sigh, "This is quiet. And we have a lot more arrows than bullets.” she said, pointing to the boys discarded weapon.

Turning to face him, she tries to catch his eye, “Come on, AJ. I know it’s frustrating, but we need to learn how to use these.” she said, slightly shaking her bow.

“It’s stupid.”

“Stupid?” she heard echo from behind.

They both turned to see James standing by, looking on with crossed arms and an amused expression. As he approached, Clementine saw AJ nervously fidget with his fingers.

“Hey, James.” she greeted with a wave, shifting her weight to lean casually.

With a shy smile he waved back, “Hi. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.” he said scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"You didn't interrupt anything, don't worry. What are you doing up?" she asked.

"I was just popping out for a bit, Ruby suggested I get some fresh air." he answered, before looking to AJ.

“Hey, AJ. I saw you were having a bit of trouble.” he said in a kind voice.

“Uh, y-yeah.” he said, unconsciously edging himself behind Clementine’s leg.

“It’s okay, AJ. It's just James, he's nice.” she encouraged. AJ meekly looked from her to James, before slightly stepping away from the safety she afforded.

“I-I don't like this bow, it's hard to pull. And stupid. I don't know why I need to learn this, anyway. I have a gun.” he said.

 

Smiling, James stooped down with a pained grunt, dropping one knee to the floor. Picking up the longbow, he held it up to AJ, who grabs it with a frown. “I saw your technique. Not too bad, but… You wanna see something cool?” he asked, standing to his full height.

AJ looks up, eyes alight with childlike curiosity. “Here. Show me where you hold it.” James said, nodding to AJ.

 

As James showed AJ better positions and grip placements Clementine watched them, a small bit of warmth touching her heart. She smiled to herself as she watched AJ nod in understanding, listening with alacrity. He was becoming familiar with social cues, better around other people, and she couldn’t be more proud. It was obvious he craved a male figure and Clementine was delighted he had positive male role models in his life now. She tried not to dwell on any reservations she held for their future and instead, joined in, cheering when AJ hit the target. Soon enough, a friendly competition between the three of them was underway, with James proving to be adept with a bow, even with his wounded side.

 

“Okay, okay. That was a nice shot. I’ll give you that one.” she said begrudgingly.

“Oh, come on. Look at that.” James said, gesturing to his arrow that _just_ hit the middle, almost touching the second ring. “Ten points.” he said confidently, making AJ whoop in excitement. Narrowing her eyes, Clementine takes up her position, aiming squarely at the center. Releasing her breath, Clementine begins to loosen her grip.

 

“Good luck, Clem!”

 

Just as she is about to fire, Louis’ loud voice shouts out from behind her, sending her arrow spiraling into a tree, wedging itself in the bark. Hissing in sympathy, Louis again sounds out from behind, “Ooh, bad luck, Clem.”

With a sigh of annoyance she turns to frown at the taller boy who stood unapologetic, smiling as he tugged at the lapels of his trench coat.

“Hi, Louis.” she deadpanned.

“Heya.” he said, inclining his head.

“What do you want?”

“What? Can’t a guy root for his friend from the sidelines?” he asked innocently, raising his shoulders.

Clementine gives an unimpressed stare, waiting for him to continue, “Fine, be that way.” Louis said, propping his hands on his hips. “Vi asked for you. She wants your opinion on something.” he said.

Hearing that Violet wanted to see her, Clementine instantly felt a smile spread across her face. She looked down to AJ, and tapped his shoulder, “Think you’ll be okay hanging out with Louis for a bit?” she asked.

Nodding excitedly AJ responds, “Yeah! What about James, can he stay too? I almost got the hang of it.” he said, holding his bow up.

“Sorry, AJ, but James is still a little sore, remember? He might want to go rest for-”

“I can stay for a little longer.” James inserted, shrugging self-consciously when everyone turned his way, “I’m not really in a rush to go back in. Besides, I kinda wanted a rematch.” he said, looking to AJ.

Grinning, AJ squinched his face in an adorable challenge, “You’re on! Wanna try, Louis?” he asked, jumping in place from foot to foot.

Louis startled lightly, seemingly stirred out of some reverie before grinning at AJ. “Sure, little dude. But you have to promise to go easy on me. Last time Clem and I were out here, my ego was bruised for days.” Louis said, walking up to pluck the bow from Clementine's loose grip.

“James can teach you! He showed me a good way to aim, maybe he can show you, too. Right, James?” AJ said, making James blush when Louis swept his eyes over to him.

 

 

_'Hm…'_

 

 

“Whaddya say, man, wanna give me a few pointers?” Louis asked, shifting the bow in his hands, almost anxiously.

With a red face, James bobbed his head and pointed a thumb over his shoulder, “Sure. I'll just… go grab some of those arrows before we- so we can start.” he said, walking to the target with AJ following happily.

Clementine smiles after them before looking to Louis a final time, “You sure you guys’ll be cool with AJ for a bit?” she asked.

“We got him, Clem, don’t worry. Now, go, find Vi. I know you want toooo.” he intoned, walking away with a chuckle.

 

 

_‘What is he… Aw, fuck.’_

 

 

Momentarily stunned by the boy’s comment she stands, blinking in surprise at his teasing admission. Clementine wasn’t uncomfortable with people knowing how she felt, but she really had wanted to talk with Violet first. She trusted him not to say anything, but her reasoning did little to stop the fear that shot through her in that instance. As she slowly made her way to the office, Clementine pondered the progression of her feelings and what lay ahead for her. Going over the possible outcomes, she felt her insides twist with nervous anticipation and resolves to talk with Violet that night.

 

 

_‘Or later? Later’s good. Tomorrow, even. Yeah, I’ll talk to her tomorrow.'_

 

 

**One Week Later**

 

 

_'God fucking damn it, Louis.'_

 

 

Breathing in frustration, Violet stood at the top of the steps, pinching the bridge of her nose in an attempt to calm her temper. Glancing in the direction Louis had gone she feels the small amount of anger melt away when she sees Clementine approaching. With a final sigh, she moves to meet her halfway.

 

"Hey." she said, folding her arms over her chest.

"I thought they would have attacked days ago. I wonder why they're holding off." Clementine answers in lieu of a greeting, probably having been witness to the spat a few seconds ago.

"Don't know. All I wanted was more time to prepare, but now this waiting sucks, and everyone's on edge."

"Need my help?" Clementine asked, her willful kindness making Violet's insides melt before she nods.

"Yeah, actually. Could you go around and make sure everyone's doing shit right?" she asked, as the two girls turned to examine the courtyard and the bodies milling about.

"Sure. I'm on it." she replied with a small grin.

"Thanks, Clem. I should go board up the back hallway, since Louis isn't gonna do it." she said, sharing a look with the other girl before going separate ways.

 

\--

 

Walking down the hallway her eyes take in the graffitied walls, lightly dragging her fingers over the marred wainscot as her mind wandered as easily as her dancing digits. Continuing down the hall, the musk of undisturbed dust invades her nostrils, contorting her face into an unintentional grimace as she immersed herself further in its odious musk.

 

 

_'Huh. Smells like Gran's house.'_

 

 

Unbidden emotions spring forward, and she feels her hand fall limply at her side as the nostalgic memories invade her head. Violet stopped in her tracks, for a moment infantilized by the unexpected barrage; though with her practiced experience, the overwhelming wave of emotions left as quickly as it had set on. Continuing along, she breathed evenly, attempting to swallow past the rise in her suddenly very dry throat.

Upon reaching the abandoned corridor, Violet looked around, noting the nearby materials and scattered tools. The wide double doors had been booted off its hinges, leaving only one door lamely attached, dangling broken and useless. Taking a readying breath, Violet lets it out in a large puff before getting to work, pushing a broken dresser beyond the hallway's entrance. She stacks the surrounding debris of furniture and scaffolding, wedging them firm against the splintered oak door and its broken jamb. After roughly ten minutes of labor Violet stands back, looking at her work and squinting in dissatisfaction.

 

 

_'Okay, whatever, good enough. Just gotta make sure this shit doesn't fall.'_

 

 

After grabbing a nearby plank and nails she angles her head in wonder, not seeing the hammer she needed. While Violet searched for the tool she swore she remembered seeing, she hears soft footsteps sounding out from behind her.

 

"Need some help?" a voice asked, and she turned to see James.

"Um… Shouldn't you still be resting?" she questioned lightly, perking in satisfaction as she spots the hammer.

"I think two weeks is enough to get me back up on my feet." he said, reaching out to steady the pieces of wood she was working with.

"Hey, no need to rush. We still have no idea when these raiders are gonna show up. Rest as much as you can, I say." Violet said, hammering the board with James' assistance.

"I'll keep it light." he said, smiling in thanks.

"Are you settling in alright?" At her words his smile dimmed, disappearing a second later.

"You're not staying." she states knowingly, feeling the familiar tug that made her empty stomach churn wildly.

"I don't think so."

"Are you sure?" she asked, emotions absent from her voice.

"I… I don't know if I'll ever be able to live with people again." he admits.

 

Walking to a nearby settee she pulls one leg under herself, and watched as James similarly makes himself comfortable at the other end. Looking at her lap, she masked the hurt in her voice with genuine curiosity as she asked her next question. "I know it's not my place, but if it’s not too upsetting, I just wanted to ask. What happened?"

Not hearing an answer, she turned to look at his face, seeing him frown in contemplation. Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, James looked to her as he started. "The Whispers were my… family… from a young age. In that time I witnessed a lot of death and suffering. Eventually, I became the cause of it. Weakness was considered a poison. And I believed that. Fiercely. So much so, that when another boy expressed sympathy for our enemy before an attack… I slit his throat." he said with bowed head, covering his face in shame.

 

"That's… kind of hard to believe. That doesn't sound anything like you." she said evenly, looking at James in a new light, not condemning nor disregarding the admission.

"Not anymore. But it was. After he died, I kept hearing his words in my head: 'those people are like us, just on a different path'. I stopped killing after that, but nobody else did. And Charlie… " he trailed off with a pained expression.

"You and your friends, you guys seem like good people. That’s a hard thing to be in this world." James continued, "But me--I've been by myself for a long time now. Done things I’ll be forced to live with for the rest of my life. I think, maybe I'd like to live with people again. Eventually. I just… don't know if I can trust myself yet." he said with a bowed head.

Unable to find the words to say, Violet nodded along silently and absorbed his admission. She never did learn how to express herself, and even now, as the quiet hummed with a thousand possibilities, she didn’t know what to do.

 

 

_'Say something, asshole. Tell him you trust him. Show him you care. Staring isn't helping anything, Violet.'_

 

 

"You're not leaving today, are you?" she asked instead.

He gives her a strained smile, shrugging a shoulder, "I was hoping I could stay another night. You all have been nothing but kind to me, I wouldn't want to take advantage of your hospitality." he replied softly.

"You're not taking advantage of anything. Of course you can, you're our friend." she said, standing.

He stood as well, looking to her with a nervous smile. She gave a sad smile in return, and as she watched him turn to leave she grabbed his attention with her final words, "And just so you know, no one wants you to go. I'm--I'll be sorry to see you leave."

 

With chocolate eyes closely reflecting the shadows she held in her own, he gave a single nod, "Me too."

 

 

* * *

 

 

As Violet emerged from the school, Clementine’s eyes instinctively looked over the other girls form, feeling her pulse quicken at the mere sight. Smiling, she made her way over to the steps, and felt her fluttering heart soar when Violet acknowledged her approach with a shy wave. Admittedly, in Clementine’s short, eventful stay she had let her infatuation burn unchecked, and consequently has made interacting with the other girl decidedly harder.

 

 

_'How am I supposed to think straight when she does that cute thing with her nose. And makes that face. Or does that thing with her eyebrow.'_

 

 

There was just this overwhelming urge for more, and she didn't know what to do with it. Usually, when a passion overcame her, she knew the appropriate response, knew how to deal with them, be it happiness, anger, grief, love, or fear. But with Violet, Clementine was blindsided, she'd never anticipated such a passion to present itself to her, never even thought on it. Throughout the time she's spent befriending the stroppy girl, she's come to better understand her and appreciate the candid remarks and dry wit, crave it even. And though Violet's reclusive nature made getting close a challenge, Clementine followed the whims of her emotions and went out of her way to ensure moments together. She wasn't deluding herself about the type or intensity of the passion, she just didn't know how to go about expressing it.

 

 

_'If I could just stop chickening out and actually say something. Anything. Like, cool jacket? Nice… face? No, god, no.'_

 

 

Finally making her way to the blonde she is acknowledged with a head nod, "Back hallway's secure. How's everyone?" Violet asked.

She settled down beside her, taking care not to sit too close, before answering, "They're ready."

"Really?"

"Really. The school is defended, and everyone's eager to get the fight over with." she said with confidence, gaining a smile from the teen beside her. The sight melted her insides, and filled her with a sense of pride at having been the cause for the teen's satisfaction.

They smiled at each other for a second, but before anything more could be discussed, the front door slammed open with a bickering Aasim and Willy following.

 

"Because you're boring and your idea is stupid."

"Oh, I'm being stupid? You're the one who can't think straight. If you could hear yourself--"

 

"Guy's! What the fuck?" Violet shouts, getting their attention.

Seeing the others in the courtyard begin to encroach, Willy frowns in irritation, "Violet told us to work on the traps together, but Aasim won't listen to anything I say!" he said, pointing an accusing finger at the older boy.

"That doesn't mean you have to scream at each other." Louis cut in, appearing out of nowhere.

"Stay out of this." Aasim spat before turning to address Violet and herself, "I have an idea for duffel bags filled with bricks. We drop them on the raiders, if they get to the admin building. Willy here wants to use a giant, idiotic swinging log to take out one raider at most. It's completely stupid." he finished with a gruff head nod at Willy.

 

"You're stupid."

"You're being childish."

"I am not! I'm trying to help."

“Then help, stop-”

 

"Aasim's right. We should use his brick trap. It's sounds more practical." Clementine interrupts, hoping to end the unnecessary fight.

"Mines practical, too." Willy argued.

"No it isn't. It's exactly the kind of thing a child would think up. Especially a child who has no idea what he's up against." Aasim said condescendingly, earning himself a swift punch to the gut.

"What the shit?" Violet said in surprise.

 

Like a deer caught in the headlights, Willy stood in front of the group before bolting indoors with panic shining in his teary eyes. The uneasy atmosphere leaves with the young boy, and the rest of the surrounding group let their tension drain, walking back to their previous activities.

 

Louis casually walked over to Aasim's doubled over figure to pat his back sympathetically, "Dude, you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Shit!" Aasim answered angrily, stomping towards the bonfire.

"Christ, we'll all kill each other before the raiders even get a fuckin' chance." Violet muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Right, what we need is something to break the tension." Louis supplied with a sure nod, starting off after Aasim. Clementine looked to Violet, who only gave a shrug before trailing after the boys.

 

 

Following the blonde over to the fire she chose a spot to sit, watching in amusement as Louis 'consoled' his friend, "Hey, buddy, how's it hanging?"

"Dude, fuck off."

"Sulking in the corner isn't gonna help us fight off the raiders. Or turn that frown upside down." Louis said with mirthful grin.

"You get more annoying every day."

"Regardless, I've come up with a plan to make everyone feel better. And that plan is a game." Louis said proudly, pulling out his deck of cards.

"Uh, we haven't played a game in weeks, since that night with Marlon." Violet said, seemingly eager for a distraction from the pent up stress the long wait has caused.

"I mean if you wanna go ask Ruby to come play, I don't mind waiting." Louis said, looking to Ruby across the courtyard before looking to Aasim with a sly grin and wagging eyebrows.

"Shut up, dude. W-why don't you go get James?" Aasim said defensively.

"Uh, he's--I'm. Shut up, dude." Louis rushes as Aasim gave a satisfied smirk. Clementine is intrigued by Aasim's teasing words and leaned back in surprise. Violet, at the same time, similarly expressed her own amazement at the twin revelations.

 

"You have a crush on Ruby?"

"You have a crush on James?"

 

Just as the words escaped her, she heard the abrupt sound of the school's large doors shutting and, along with the others, turned to see James taking this moment to make an appearance. She heard Louis mutter a curse from behind, and was instantly struck with a giddy bout of mischievousness.

 

 

_‘Oh, this is too perfect.’_

 

 

Clementine offered James a wide smile, and waved him over eagerly. He seemed hesitant, but still came to stand by the group, wringing his hands anxiously.

"Hey, James. Wanna join?" Violet asked, dropping her leg to offer him the spot beside her.

He glanced around awkwardly before going to the offered seat with a shrug, "Uh, yeah. Sure."

"What're we playing?" AJ said suddenly, he and Tenn strolling around the campfire to insert themselves amongst the small party.

"Truth or Dare!" Louis said as he gave his deck a shuffle, eyes flicking to James with a smile.

Violet turned to him with a cute look of confusion, "You don't use cards in Truth or Dare."

"You do in this version. Everyone draws. Highest card gets to ask. Lowest card has to answer." Louis explained while passing out the cards.

 

The first few rounds went well, with everyone getting comfortable and letting their collective stress release with easy laughter. Clementine savored the stretch of peace and let her eyes stray to Violet over the low fire. Moored to her spot she tried not to stare, becoming increasingly distracted by the intense feelings the girl unwittingly evoked. Drawing a card, she paused to admire how the firelight made Violet's hair glow, the gold strands slowly shimmering with the shifting blaze. Even with her dirt streaked face and tattered clothing, she looked angelic.

 

 

_'Woah…'_

 

 

Clementine listened closely for the tinkling of Violet's laughter that she has come to know well these last few weeks. She could hear the crackle of burning wood float under the loud voices echoing round, but the soft chuckle was absent from the convivial atmosphere. As inconspicuous as she could, she leant closer, trying to discern between the addictive sound and the various voices surrounding her. At another one of Louis’ jokes, she realized Violet wasn’t laughing, she was following along with silent smirks and grins.

Not being one to give up, Clementine pushed past the mild disappointment to think of something that might get a laugh. Starting off the next round, she was dealt a face card, and as she waited for everyone else's draw, ideas for the group started running through her head. When they all held a card she cast a glance around to see who her unlucky compatriot was, and sees Aasim frown at his card before turning it over for everyone to see. Immediately, her mind settles on a dare that would hopefully rouse a laugh from the agelastic teen beside her.

 

 

_'Who knows, maybe Ruby will lis -- ooh, that didn't look fun. Sorry, Aasim.'_

 

 

Witnessing the redhead's meanstreak the group burst into laughter, gently ribbing Aasim as he returned, red faced and holding his side. She felt a touch of guilt, but couldn't argue with the results. She turned her head as the briefest of chuckles escaped the blonde, the short noise quickening her breath and sending her heart into a frenzied gallop.

 

 

_'Wow. So pretty… Damn it, not again. Stop staring, Clementine.'_

 

 

As they continue, she's dealt a low card and frowns, showing her hand as she waited to see who would win.

"I got it." Louis said with a devious smirk, making her instantly regret the admittedly great dare she gave to Aasim.

"We've been hard on poor Aasim here, teasing him about sweet Ruby. Seems only fair we tease someone else about unrequited love." She opens her mouth to mention James, but cuts herself off when Louis glances at Violet before looking back to her.

 

 

_‘He wouldn’t.’_

 

  
She narrowed her eyes as he gave her a smug smirk, twirling his card between his fingers, "So, Clem. Anyone here you like-like?"

 

  
_'He would.'_

 

 

"Seriously? Like-like? What are you, six?" Violet said, rolling her eyes with playful pout, making Clementine's stomach swoop unhelpfully.

"Seven, thank you."

 

 

_'Fuck it.'_

 

 

"Yeah. I've definitely got feelings for someone." she said, a small smile playing on her lips as her face burned under the stars of her friends.

"Oh ho! Who is it?" Louis exclaimed, sitting straighter.

Denying Louis already coming second nature, she smiles easily, "Nope. Not telling."

But she does look to Violet, seeing an attractive flush coloring her pale features. She tries not to be too hopeful at the sight, and looks away to grab another card.

"Aasim! You've got the high card. And the low card is… Tennessee." Louis announced.

 

Aasim adopted serious expression before looking to the younger boy, "What's something you never told anyone, because you were afraid they'd make fun of you?"

"You got this." Louis encouraged.

"I, um… I think… I think walkers won't always be around. They'll go away, someday. 'Cause the world goes in cycles, right? Ice age, stone age, um, some other ages. So it's like that. This age'll end, and another will start." he said, prepubescent voice sounding almost hopeful.

 

"An age without walkers. Like it used to be." Clementine mused.

It was a familiar notion that ran through her head once before, and one she ultimately dismissed as a disadvantaging thought exercise. An idea that only served to stir feelings of contemn and unrest within her; ultimately leaving her in a mental state not concomitant with survival and drowning her in the resignation she obstinately fought against.

"It'll be better." Tenn said, casting the group into a bout of contemplative silence. Everyone apart from James looks to Tenn, making the young boy squirm uncomfortably. "Why is everyone looking at me like that? Did I ruin the game?"

Clementine felt a small swell of a bitterness fill her and is talking before she could stop herself. "We'll all be dead by the time the walker age ends. Wiped out, like dinosaurs." she said, not intending for it to come out so dour, but believing it all the same.

Looking away, Tenn gives a slight nod, "Yeah, but at least we know everything isn't over."

"I never thought of it that way." James whispered, appearing lost in thought.

 

Looking down to AJ sitting near her feet, she sees a mix of emotions pinching his small face. "What's wrong AJ?" she asked worriedly.

"I… I just don't know what it's like. All of you do, but I don't. I don't remember a time before monsters." he said with a doleful sigh.

 

 

_'I'm sorry, goofball. I wish I could do something that made a difference.'_

 

 

She can't stop the sadness and guilt she feels at his words, wanting nothing more than to give him a happy life and knowing no matter what she does, she'll never be able to.

"You know what, little dude? It's okay that you don't. Believe me, the world before this one was pretty shitty." Louis said, doing his best to mollify the young child. His attempt to pacify AJ's sadness seemed to work, dismissing the tension that clouded his brow.

The group stills for only a few seconds before purportedly reaching Louis' limit on silence, "And that feels like a good place to call it." he said, rousing most of the gathered group to their feet.

"We should finish up our work, anyway, it's getting dark." Violet reminded. And just like that, the idyllic moment comes to an end. Bodies begin dispersing throughout the camp, going about their business, and leaving Clementine with a hollow pang of disappointment.

From the corner of her eye Clementine noticed Ruby approach, and sees Violet acknowledge her appearance with a nod, "You're on lookout?" the blonde asked. "Yep. Clementine's got it after me." the southern girl replied, giving a quick nod.

 

 

_‘Ah, shit. That’s right.’_

 

 

"Can I come?" AJ asked hopefully, looking to the redhead with wide eyes.

"Of course you can little guy." Ruby replied with a smile. AJ then looked to her, making Clementine's heart warm at the child shining through. She willfully acquiesced to his request, inclining her head with a smile. He face lit up as he followed after Ruby, talking with her as they moved towards the wall.

"I'm headed to the bell tower. I want to check out our defenses on the back wall before bed." Violet announced, standing from her spot on the sofa.

"Do you need help?" she asked, hoping her eagerness wasn't as obvious as she thought.

Violet gave a shy smile before looking away, "Sure, if you want." The quiet answer sent a warm spike through Clementine, and making her breast warm with anticipation.

 

"You could always help me instead. I am on piano duty." Louis said as he stood, gaining a hefty eye roll from Violet before she strode off. "What? I gotta get in some practice before one of you decides to chop it into firewood. I've got a project I want to try, but I need a second person." he told her, moving to walk beside his departing friend.

Smiling, Clementine caught up with the two, looking to Louis and playfully batting her eyelashes, "What about James?" Violet snorts from her side, and looks past her to raise an eyebrow at Louis, making him squirm.

"James? Ah, ha, well. He already turned in. Probably has to sleep. You know, with the whole being shot and all." he said, scratching the back of his neck and trying to avoid their eyes.

Abruptly, Violet paused in her stride, causing Louis to bump into her before looking to her in question. “Maybe you should try talking to him.” Violet started.

“He didn’t bring it up tonight, so I don’t know if he wants everyone to know. But he came to me earlier today. He… He told me he doesn't plan on staying.”

 

“What?”

“Why?” Clementine and Louis asked in unison.

 

Violet shrugged before resuming her pace, both teens following after a beat, “He has his reasons. But… I don't know. When we were talking, it didn't seem like he was happy about it.” she said, looking to her feet.

“Maybe you can talk to him, Lou. You’re great at the touchy-feely shit. I just… I could see something in his face. He doesn’t want to leave.” Violet said, softly shaking her head.

He bit his lip as he looked to his feet with a crinkle in his brow, "Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” he said, bobbing his head in determination.

Looking up Louis gave them a wide grin, “Looks like I got a piano partner, afterall. See you ladies later." he said, giving a two finger salute, before jogging to the admin building.

"I said convince him not to leave." Violet shouted after him.

 

Without looking back, Louis raised an arm to flip them off before disappearing behind the doors, leaving the two girls giggling in the courtyard.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"So, we're checking the walls?" Clementine asked her, following closely behind.

"Yup. From up there. That's the best view. You ready for a climb?" she said as she grabbed ahold of the edge of a beam and began hauling herself off the floor.

When her foot slipped she heard Clementine’s skeptical voice call out from the ground, "Looks a little dangerous."

Rolling her eyes, Violet called down to her, "What's more dangerous than walkers? Or that death trap you called a car? C'mon, you're not chicken, right?"

 

"No."

 

Violet smiled at the expected stubbornness and continued to climb, doing her best to suppress the sharp eruption of flutters filling her stomach. If all goes to plan and she didn't wuss out, tonight she would tell Clementine how she feels. She has caught Clementine staring at her on multiple occasions, and wants to take it as a good sign. She hasn't gotten her hopes up, but finds it hard to ignore the small voice telling her that Clementine might be interested in more. Now, she just had to figure out the right combination of words.

 

 

_'Oh yeah, just tell her how you wanna kiss her face, Violet. That'll go over great. Fuck, why can't I be better at this?'_

 

 

As she clambered onto a window sill, her deprived brain overruled the amatory thoughts and supplied her with the image of fresh, picturesque mcnuggets.

"Now I'm thinking about chicken nuggets. Do you remember those?" she asked looking down for a split second to catch sight of the girls figure.

"Not really." Clementine replied.

"I do. We always got them on Sundays. There was no time for grandma to cook between church and bible study, so, fast food. Damn, I'd give an eyeball for a chicken nugget right now." she told her before making the small jump to the towers damaged platform.

 

Emerging from the tower, Violet was greeted to a wandering blanket of stars in her face. She felt a cool brush of wind gently pass as the refreshing aromas of the night soothed her temples. A tide of peace invaded her senses and helped dampen her nerves, but couldn't fully expunge the timidity she felt around Clementine. And in that moment, the path she had walked hundreds of times before felt imbued with a sense of significance. Violet came to a stop, leaning over the balustrade to look over their work and nodding in satisfaction.

"Barbed wire, traps, weapons. It's everything we planned." Clementine said from her side.

Turning to the taller girl she smiled, "You made it happen. We couldn't have done it without you. You've got lookout duty tonight right?" she said as she strode a few paces away from the rail, putting a little distance between the two as she listened for an answer.

"Yep, me and AJ."

With her back turned, she took a readying breath and pushed past her mounting nerves before looking over her shoulder, "Do you have time to hang out first?" she asked, hearing the slight quiver in her own question.

"Sure." Clementine said easily, dismissing Violet's anxieties with a charming half smile, and making her lower belly prickle with a pleasing warmth. Without responding, Violet let out a sigh of relief and turned to continue down the bridge, hearing Clementine’s heavy boots follow after her. Together they walked under an army of stars, their path lit by the full moon that dominated the night sky.

"Wow. Beautiful." Clementine remarked, breathless beside her.

Coming to a stop, Violet nodded her head agreeingly, looking up as she spoke, "Sometimes I need the quiet. Just to get away for a while."

 

Clementine responded with a soft smile, before returning her gaze to the stars, “Do you know any constellations?” she asked.

“Nope. You?” “I learned some in school, but I can’t remember them.” Clementine said, her crestfallen voice filling Violet with the desire to ease her mind, even for just a moment.

“Let’s make some up. Come over here. You can sit without falling to your death.” she said, leading the taller girl to a nearby ledge.

 

Together they sat pointing to the distant orbs of light, letting themselves be swept along with their entertaining notions and ideas of the night. The carefree discussion gave them a respite from their worries and a moment to enjoy each other's company. Their private whispers and laughter drifted through the already sleepy draft, and created a peaceful atmosphere she never wanted to end. After discovering a handful of new constellations and profiling a couple of their friends they reach a natural break in the conversation, pausing to reflect on their thoughts. Violet let the lull of silence stay for a minute before she slowly tore her eyes from the sky. She turned to see Clementine no longer stargazing, but staring off in the distance, a sullen expression dimming her features.

 

"You seem far away." she commented, stirring the brunette from her thoughts.

"Just thinking." Clementine answered in a quiet murmur.

"About?"

Clementine looked to her with a curious gaze, "How do you think you'll die?"

Frowning in confusion, Violet turned to her, "Uh, is there any particular reason you're thinking about me dying?" she weakly joked, giving Clementine a searching look.

"No, no, not like that. I just meant, like… Okay that came out wrong." she shook her head, with a sigh. "I've just been thinking about things: Brody, Marlon, these raiders, about all the things that can happen to us. And I just… I don't know."

 

Violet said nothing, but nodded her head along with an encouraging smile to let the other girl know she was listening. Nervously, Clementine smiled back as she found the needed push, and took a deep breath before continuing.

"I've always felt like I've been living on borrowed time, you know? We aren't promised anything in life, not really. So, I guess what I was trying to ask was: if you actually had a say in it, how do you want to go out?"

Not expecting such a serious line of questioning, Violet frowned in contemplation, trying to think of a way to phrase an answer.

 

 

_‘Hm… Walkers, starving, raiders? Stabbed, shot, drowning, hypothermia, falling off a cliff, blood loss, dismemberment? Car crash?’_

 

 

“I guess a heart attack at 17 is pretty unlikely, huh?” she said, smiling as Clementine laughs at the flippant remark.

She smiled at the beautiful sound before continuing, “Honestly, I don’t know. I would prefer old age, but I know that’s not happening.”

Clementine looked to her, her head tilted in question, “What about a big explosion?”

An abrupt chuckle escaped her before she could stop it, and she shook her head with a fond smile, “Of course that’s how you’d want to go out.” she said, shifting her gaze back to the sky as she continued thinking.

Before she could come up with a realistic death, Clementine again grabbed her attention when she suddenly shifted her upper body to face her, “I’m glad I met you.” she blurted out, locking her caramel eyes on Violet with a welcoming intensity behind her gaze.

Violet didn’t look away as she continued, “It’s crazy to think if this never happened, we probably would have never met each other.” Clementine said, gesturing her arm at the world around them.

“Huh, yeah. I guess you’re right.” she said, holding her breath as she contemplated her next words.

 

 

_‘Okay, dude, now's your chance, just. Say something. Tell her you like her. Come on, you can do it. A compliment or something. Anything.’_

 

“You know, I’ve had a lot of people float in and out of my life, coming and going all the time, but I’ve never met someone like you before. And even though you crashed in out of nowhere with a swarm of walkers that almost got us killed,” she teased with a small smirk, “I’m glad we got the chance to become friends. And, now I can’t imagine what it would be like if you weren’t here.” she said, the awkward delivery making her cringe internally.

“Um, shit, that sounds so much dumber when I say it out loud.” she quietly muttered, wishing she could take the words back as soon as they’d left her mouth.

 

 

_‘Okay. Next time, just… don’t say anything. That might be for the best.’_

 

 

She cursed her ineloquence before Clementine started, her raspy voice sounding faraway under the roaring in her ears, “I think, I mean, I hope… we’re more than friends. And I want… “ she said, trailing off as her eyes filtered through different emotions.

Violet stared in disbelief as the words being spoken registered almost in slow motion, her brain struggling to keep pace with the hope the girl sat beside her was quickly inspiring. And then Clementine leaned over, bridging the gap between them to connect their mouths in a searing kiss. Stunned, Violet felt a jolt of burning energy run over her body, like fire licking at her skin. The surprise left her transfixed, unable to reciprocate as soft lips lingered on her own for another moment. As they broke apart she saw Clementine’s hooded gaze stare fixedly at her mouth, before sweeping up to her meet her eyes as she slowly moved away. They sat for a handful of seconds in a shocked state of euphoria before she could remember how to speak.

“Holy shit.” Violet couldn't bring herself to care about how stupid she must have sounded, too caught up in the singing of her veins.

A throaty chuckle came from Clementine, and she looked to see a happy grin plastered on her face, “That’s romantic.”

“I mean, holy shit.” she repeated with a dopey smile, her brain still too fuzzy to formulate proper sentences. Violet felt lighter than she could remember feeling in years and turned to look at the girl beside her. Holding her breath, she hesitantly placed a hand on top of Clementine's, pressing against the welcoming heat with her cold fingers. To her delight, Clementine didn't flinch away, instead leaning further back to press herself closer to Violet with a content smile hanging from her lips.

 

 

_'Holy shit.'_


End file.
